A Golfer Went to Confession!

A man went to the confessional. "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."

"What is your sin, my child?" The priest asked.

"Well," the man started, "I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible."

"When did you use this awful language?" said the priest.

"I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 500 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards."

"Is that when you swore?"

"No, Father." said the man. "After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth and began to run away."

"Is THAT when you swore?" asked the Father again.

"Well, no," said the man. "You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!"

"Is THAT when you swore?" asked the amazed Priest.

"No, not yet," the man replied. "As the eagle carried the squirrel away in his claws, it flew towards the green. And as it passed over a bit of forest near the green, the squirrel dropped my ball."

"Did you swear THEN?" asked the now impatient priest.

"No, because as the ball fell, it struck a tree, bounced through some bushes, careened off a big rock, and rolled through a sand trap onto the green and stopped within six inches of the hole."

"You missed the fucking putt, didn't you?" sighed the priest.

A Snowball's Chance in Golf

A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity; looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!"

The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."

"Forget it, man-you don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of hitting her from here!"

mailto:jessie555@hotmail.com

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page