SNAP JUDGEMENTS ABOUT MEN AND WOMEN

Reading the signs: How to make shallow snap judgements
--Taken from Women's Glibber

The trick to successful dating is learning how to interpret the hidden signs, those tiny giveaway gestures that can tell you so much about a person. Train yourself to recognize—and decode these key signs:
1. Woman won't unlock car door for man. --Doesn't engage in oral sex.
2. Man gets in car without opening door for woman. --No foreplay.
3. Man can't hail a cab. --Impotent.
4. Insists on going to a brand new restaurant. --Prefers virgins.
5. Insists on going to a brand new restaurant but gets lost on the way there. --Is a virgin.
6. Insists on going to a romantic, candlelit restaurant. --Compulsive Don Juan.
7. Insists on going to a homey little cafe. --Compulsive Don Quixote.
8. Insists on going to a Polynesian bar. --Compulsive Don Ho.
9. Wants to go to a French restaurant. --Will swallow.
10. Wants to go to a deli. --Won't swallow.
11. Uses Sweet n' Low. --Wears falsies.
12. Takes too long deciding what to order. --Has trouble reaching orgasm.
13. Orders salad dressing on the side. --Will give a hand job, but won't go "all the way."
14. Gives explicit orders to the waiter or waitress. --Will expect incredibly skillful gymnastics in bed.
15. Steals sugar packets. --Will say she's using birth control when she's not, will get pregnant and sue.
16. Insists on ordering for you. --Thinks that you had an orgasm when you didn't.
17. Asks for "the usual." --Insists on missionary position only.
18. Asks what the specials are. --Will want you to use handcuffs.
19. Fills up on bread and crackers. --Premature ejaculator.
20. Doesn't finish everything on the plate. --Has already come.
21. Insists on having some of what you ordered. --Will make you sleep on the wet spot.
22. Changes mind after ordering. --Will never call you.
23. Changes tables. --Nymphomaniac.
24. Drinks decaf. --Fakes orgasm. (Female)
25. Orders in French. --Fakes orgasm. (Male)
26. Sends food back. --Will sleep with you, brag to all his friends, and then try to borrow money.
27. Asks for detailed descriptions of the desserts. --Needs you to talk dirty during sex.
28. Orders a dessert involving ladyfingers. --Wants a hand job.
29. Orders a dessert involving nuts. --Castrating bitch.
30. Wants to split dessert. --Is dying to move in with you and rearrange all your closets.
31. Credit card is refused. --Low sperm count.
32. Undertips waiter. --Small penis.
33. Undertips parking valet. --Small penis.
34. Undertips cabbie. --Small penis.
35. Uses a toothpick. --Is trying to tell you size isn't everything.
36. Has a removable cassette player in car. --Pulls out repeatedly during sex.
37. Has a cellular phone in car. --Has a penile implant.

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