Bartender Survey
Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:
What HER Drinks Say About Her
Drink: Beer
Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.
Drink: Blender Drinks--With Umbrellas
Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.
Drink: Mixed Drinks--No Umbrellas
Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
Approach: You won't have to approach her. She'll send YOU a drink.
Drink: Wine--(not including white zinfandel)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had had four more years
Drink: White Zin
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually has no clue.
Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...
Drink: Shots
Personality: Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get drunk..and naked.
Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait.
If she likes salt on the rim of her Margarita, she swallows!
What HIS Drinks Say About Him
(With guys, as always, it is very simple and clear cut)
Cheap Domestic Beer:
He's poor and wants to get laid.
Premium Local Beer:
He likes good beer and wants to get laid.
Imported Beer:
He likes expensive beer and wants to get laid.
Wine:
He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.
Whisky:
He doesn't give two shits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.
Tequila:
"Piss off, all you f**kers, I'm gonna go screw anything with a pulse."
Barcardi Breezer-Hooch:
He's gay.
jessie555@hotmail.com
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