Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

Have you noticed how the new TV show's questions have quickly invaded the speech of the average American?

A husband and wife are getting ready for bed one evening, and he asks, "Honey, do you want to have sex tonight?"

"No," she replies.

"Is that your final answer?"

"Yes, that's my final answer!" she insists.

The husband thinks carefully for a moment, then says, "I think I'm gonna phone a friend!"

When my husband finally gave in and began to clean out his bureau, he discovered a bunch of socks that didn't match. As I looked at them, I noted that most of them had holes in them.

"Land's sakes, man!" I exclaimed. "How long have you had these things?"

"Since before we were married," he admitted. "I guess you could say that I had a lot of premarital socks!"

A husband and wife decided they needed to use a code word to indicate that they wanted to have sex, without letting their children in on the idea, so they decided on the word "typewriter."

One day, the husband told his five year old daughter, "Dear, go tell your mommy that Daddy needs to type a letter."

The child went into the next room and told her mom what Daddy had said, and her mother responded, "Honey, tell your daddy that he can't type a letter right now because there's a red ribbon in the typewriter."

The child went back to tell her dad what her mom had said. A few days later, the mother told her daughter, "Honey, go tell Daddy that he can type that letter now."

The child went into the next room and gave her dad the message. A few moments later, she returned to her mother and announced, "Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the letter by hand."

jessie555@hotmail.com

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