LEESVILLE, La. - "My son is under the doctor's care and should not take P.E. today," one
parent wrote. "Please execute him." That death sentence was inadvertently recommended in a note
which a parent who was in a hurry or possessed of an uncertain vocabulary wrote to excuse a child's
absence from school in Vernon Parish. Duplicated copies of some of the parish's more astonishing
excuse notes were given out at a School Board meeting one month. "Some of them were obviously made
up by students," Richard Carter, assistant principal of Leesville High School, said. But most, he said,
were probably legitimate excuses written by parents in the rural northwest Louisiana parish. In
these samples, names were replaced with either Fred or Mary to protect innocent and guilty alike.
One parent appeared to have taken drastic action: "Please excuse Mary for being absent. She was
sick and I had her shot." Another had a more comprehensive request: "Please excuse Fred for
being. It was his father's fault." "Please ackuse Fred being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and
33," wrote a parent who lives by an unusual calendar. "Mary was absent from school yesterday as
she was having a gangover, wrote one who apparently expected the school to be tolerant of social
follies. "Mary could not come to school today because she was bother by very close veins," wrote
one parent. "Fred has an acre in his side," said another. And in an extreme case of people
losing things, "Please excuse Fred from P.E. for a few days. He fell yesterday out of a tree and
misplaced his hip." In a confusion of office work and medical terms, one parent wrote: "Please
excuse Mary from Jim yesterday. She is administrating." And several had a racier tone:
"Please excuse Fred for being absent. He had a cold and could not breed well." "Please
excuse Mary. She has been sick and under the doctor." "Please excuse Mary from being absent
yesterday. She was in bed with gramps."
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