Professors and Their Little Quirks!
Prof. Somebody once taught a class from 2:30pm to 5:30pm. Every time the class met, all the
students would have a lot of food on their desks when the class started. During the 5 minute break, all of
them would line up at the nearby vending machine. He couldn't understand why these students were
hungry all the time, anyway. His class was just after the lunch time and long before dinner time. Prof.
Somebody was not happy about this because when they ate, they make a lot of noise. So he announced
one day, "No more food in the class!" Next class he found the classroom extremely quiet. Guess what!
Everybody was dozing because there was nothing to keep them awake.
Here is a list of the ways professors here at the American University grade their final exams:
DEPT OF STATISTICS: All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.
DEPT OF
PSYCHOLOGY: Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The
professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.
DEPT OF HISTORY: All
students get the same grade they got last year.
DEPT OF RELEGION: Grade is determined by
God.
DEPT OF PHILOSOPHY: What is a grade?
LAW SCHOOL: Students are asked to
defend their position of why they should receive an A.
DEPT OF MATHEMATICS: Grades are
variable.
DEPT OF LOGIC: If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has
accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A, else the student will not receive an A.
DEPT OF COMPUTER SCIENCE: Random number generator determines grade.
MUSIC
DEPARTMENT: Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the
corresponding note (+ and - would be sharp and flat respectively).
DEPT OF PHYSICAL
EDUCATION: Everybody gets an A.
DEPT OF POLITICAL SCIENCES: Stand at the top of the
stairs and toss all final papers out, the ones closest to the top will get A, and furthest down will get F.
DEPT OF MECHANICAL ENGINEERING: Final papers that can be blown away will get F.
DEPT OF PHYSICS: Final papers that cannot block out sunlight completely will get F.
DEPT
OF CHEMISTRY: Final papers that completely burn to ash first will get F.
DEPT OF ELECTRICAL
ENGINEERING: Students can have any one of these grades:
A (Amper) if they can resist high
current.
C (Coulomb) if they get high all the time.
F (Farad) if they eat too much and have too
much energy.
W (Watt) if they have power to work.
MATH AND ALCOHOL DON'T MIX:
Please, don't drink and derive. --MADD (Mathematicians Against Drunk Deriving)
Know how to tell the difference between a University, a Polytechnic Institute and a College?
When the lecturer walks in and says "Good Morning" in a University, all the students ignore him.
When the lecturer walks in and says "Good Morning" in a College, all the students say "Good
Morning" back.
When the lecturer walks in and says "Good Morning" in a Polytechnic Institute, half
the students fall asleep, half the students write it down, and one at the back asks, "Why?"
jessie555@hotmail.com
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