These Are Actual Excerpts From Students' Science Exam Papers!
Three kinds
of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillers.
The process of turning steam back into water
again is called conversation.
A magnet is something you find crawling all over a dead cat.
The
Earth makes one resolution every 24 hours.
To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame
in a test tube.
Parallel lines never meet, unless you bend one or both of them.
Algebraical
symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.
Geometry teaches us to bisex
angles.
A circle is a line which meets its other end without ending.
The pistol of a flower is its
only protection against insects.
The moon is a planet just like the Earth, only it is even
deader.
English sparrows and starlings eat the farmers grain and soil his corpse.
A
super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.
Blood flows down one leg and up
the other.
The hookworm larvae enters the human body through the soul.
When you haven't
got enough iodine in your blood you get a glacier.
It is a well-known fact that a deceased body
harms the mind.
For fractures: to see if the limb is broken, wiggle it gently back and forth.
For
dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.
For nosebleed: put
the nose much lower than the body.
For drowning: climb on top of the person and move up and
down to make artificial perspiration.
To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the
nose.
For head colds: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.
For
asphyxiation: apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.
Before giving a blood transfusion,
find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.
Bar magnets have north and south poles, horseshoe
magnets have east and west poles.
When water freezes you can walk on it. That is what Christ did
long ago in wintertime.
When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
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