I. Science Classification 1. If it's green or it wiggles, it's part of Biology.
1. When you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly. 1. First Law- If anything can go wrong with an experiment, it will. BASIC GUIDE FOR SCIENTISTS
2. If it stinks, it's Chemistry.
3. If it doesn't work, it belongs to Physics.
II. Rules for Laboratory Workers
2. First draw your curves, then plot the data.
3. Experience is directly proportional to the equipment ruined.
4. Experiments must be reproducible. They should all fail the same way.
5. A record of data is essential. It indicates you have been working.
6. In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
7. Do not believe in miracles, rely on them.
8. Teamwork is essential in the lab. It allows you to blame someone else.
9. Always leave room to add an explanation when it doesn't work.
III. Finagle's Laws, Creed, and Motto
2. Second Law- No matter what result is anticipated, there is always someone willing to fake it.
3. Third Law- No matter what occurs, there is always someone who believes it happened according to his pet theory.
4. Fourth Law- No matter what the result, there is always someone eager to misinterpret it.
5. Creed- Science is truth. Don't be misled by facts.
6. Motto- Smile; tomorrow it will be worse.
The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top, and you sit on the bottom. SCIENCE SILLIES FROM 5TH & 6TH GRADERS
It is so hot in some places that people there have to live in other places.
Momentum is something you give a person when they go away.
Mushrooms always grow in damp places which is why they look like umbrellas.
The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.
The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.
Thunder is a rich source of loudness.
Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun, but I never have been able to make out the numbers.
When planets run around and around in circles, we say they are orbiting. When people do it, we say they are crazy.
One of the main causes of dust is DIRT.
A monsoon is a French gentleman.
To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.
Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why you should.
Water vapor gets together in a big cloud. When it gets big enough to be called a drop, it does.
There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because so many people are stomping around there these days.
The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.
You can listen to thunder and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.
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