Some random thoughts to contemplate
The factory of the future will have two employees, a man and a dog.
The man will be there to feed the dog, and the dog is there
to keep the man from touching the computers.
Old age may wrinkle the skin, but lack of enthusiasm will wrinkle the soul.
Two snakes were crawling along when one snake asked the other, "Are we poisonous snakes?"
The other replied, "You're damn right we are! We're rattlesnakes. Why do you ask?"
To which the first replied, "I just bit my tongue."
Why did the Siamese twins go to England?
So the other one could have a chance to drive!
When we talk to God it's called prayer.
When God talks back it's called schizophrenia.
What do you get when cross a Godfather with a lawyer?
An offer you can't understand.
It's no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts.
During break time at obedience school, two dogs were talking. One said to the other, "The thing I hate about obedience school is you learn ALL this stuff you'll never use in the real world."
Which animals did Noah not take on the ark in pairs? Worms! They went on in apples.
What veggie did Noah not take on the Ark? Leeks
What do you get when you cross LSD with the pill? A trip without the kids!
I was just wondering......if you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
A newly married man asks his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Darling," the woman replies sweetly, "I'd have married you no matter who left you a fortune."
How many men does it take to change the toilet paper roll?
NOBODY KNOWS!
For more like this...{Life's Irritations} {Fifth Grade Proverbs} {Life's Rules}
{Parent Dictionary}{Various Quotes}{Sleeping@Desk}
© 1997jessie555@hotmail.com
This page hosted by 
Get your own Free Home Page