Some Signs Found in Various Locations
IN A LAUNDROMAT:
Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE:
Bargain Basement Upstairs
IN AN OFFICE:
Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday
please bring it back or further steps will be taken.
IN ANOTHER OFFICE:
After the tea break staff should empty the tea pot
and stand upside down on the draining board.
BIG SIGN OVER A CHURCH DOOR:
This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door.
SMALL SIGN STUCK ON DOOR:
This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance.
OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP:
We exchange anything--bicycles, washing machines etc.
Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.
QUICKSAND WARNING:
Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned.
By order of the District Council.
NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW:
Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW:
Closed due to illness.
SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK:
Elephants Please Stay In Your Car.
SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE:
For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor.
NOTICE IN A FIELD:
The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.
MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET:
If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.
ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR:
We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door--the bell doesn't work).
SPOTTED IN A TOILET IN A LONDON OFFICE BLOCK:
Toilet out of order...Please use floor below.
I saw a sign outside a bar saying "topless and bottomless."
I went inside. No one was there.
On the way home from work I saw the following sign in front of a church:
St. X's CHURCH SERVICES: 6-7
SUN WORSHIP: 11-1
Wonder which is the worse punishment... The sign thus reads: THIS ROOM OPERATED BY HEARING IMPAIRED. PLEASE SHOOT TO GET ATTENTION FOR SERVICE.
Of course the real question is, when do they sacrifice humans?
Our Sears is undergoing a massive remodeling, which means everything in the store is someplace else, like the men's socks with the luggage. However, they didn't bother changing the ceiling signs. When they moved the women's lingerie, the sign above the new spot was probably more accurate than they wanted: Men's Sportswear
The following (large) road sign appears on Interstate Highway 5 near the San Diego Airport: "Cruise Ships use Airport Exit"
There is a sign posted in the "Sky Shops" in Heathrow Airport near the cash register:
This area monitored by closed-circuit TV cameras. Shoplifters will be prosecuted and will miss their flight.
We have a mailroom where we can pick up packages that are too large to fit in our mailboxes. Outside the window is a sign which was written by someone with lousy handwriting, such that the 'u' in the word "shout" looks like a second "O."
At a jewelry store here in town, there is a sign in the window, "Watch batteries while you wait." Most boring thing I ever heard of...
A building near my home here in NJ is shared by several businesses. Out front was one sign advertising the services available. The bottom entry said, "ACCUPUNCTURE IN REAR."
One of my favorite signs is a fast food place that said, "WE HAVE SILLY PUTTY IN OUR KIDS MEALS."
Another is near a park where I live and it says, "NO DOGS EATING BICYCLES."
Saw this sign by the roadside at a monument company. (For those who don't know, a "monument company" are the people who carve tombstones.) "PLEASE DRIVE CAREFULLY. WE CAN WAIT!"
For more like this...{Stupidities in Advertising}
{Well-Planned Ad!}
{Flight Attendants' Comments}
{More Flight Attendants' Comments}
{Airline Techs' Comments}
{Actual Store Signs}
{Foreign Store Signs}
{More Foreign Store Signs}
{Credit Card Ad}
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