Airline Jokes!
Some Comments by Flight Attendants!
Real stories from real flight attendants and passengers:
Real stories from real flight attendants and passengers:
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, give a smile, and a thanks for flying XYZ airline. He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no, Ma'am," said the pilot, "what is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?" From a disgruntled Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX, to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more." "The weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines." United Airlines Flight Attendant: "Ladies and Gentlemen, as you are all now painfully aware, our Captain has landed in Seattle. From all of us at United Airlines, we'd like to thank you for flying with us today and please be very careful as you open the overhead bins as you may be killed by falling luggage that shifted during our so called 'touch down.'" About 5 or 6 years ago I was on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day. I could tell during the final approach that the Captain was really having to fight it, and after an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant came on the PA and announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!" Another Flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal." And finally, another Flight Attendant who announced: "Ladies and Gentlemen, Captain Bob would like to know what you think of his landing. If it is a good one, please use a ten point scale; if not, a Richter scale will do. Thank you!"
For more like this...{Stupidities in Advertising}
{Well-Planned Ad!}
{More Flight Attendants' Comments}
{Airline Techs' Comments}
{Actual Store Signs}
{Foreign Store Signs}
{Signs Found in Various Locations}
{More Foreign Store Signs}
{Credit Card Ad}
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