Strange but True Warnings on Products For Sale.
Take note.
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
On a bag of Fritos
YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap
DIRECTIONS: USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.
(And that would be how?)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box)
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.
(Too late! You lose!)
On a Korean kitchen knife
WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.
(Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)
On a Japanese food processor
NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts
WARNING: CONTAINS NUTS.
(Really?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts
INSTRUCTIONS OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.
(I'm glad they cleared that up.)
On a child's superman costume
WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.
(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
On a Taiwanese shampoo
USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
In a U.S. guide to setting up a new computer
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW
THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.
(Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles
OPEN OTHER END.
On a packet of Sunmaid raisins
WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVORITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
On a Sears hairdryer
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
Found on Axius Sno-Off Automobile Windshield cover:
CAUTION: NEVER DRIVE WITH THE COVER ON YOUR WINDSHIELD.
Found a box of Tampax Tampons:
REMOVE USED TAMPON BEFORE INSERTING NEW ONE.
Found on a box of Kellogg's Pop-Tarts:
WARNING: PASTRY FILLING MAY BE HOT WHEN HEATED.
Found on the instruction sheet of a Conair Pro Style 1600 hair dryer:
WARNING: DO NOT USE IN THE SHOWER. NEVER USE WHILE SLEEPING.
Found on Batman: The Animated Series, Armor Set Halloween costume box:
PARENT: PLEASE EXERCISE CAUTION, MASK AND CHEST PLATE ARE NOT PROTECTIVE; CAPE DOES NOT ENABLE WEARER TO FLY.
Found in a television set's owner's manual:
DO NOT POUR LIQUIDS INTO YOUR TELEVISION SET.
Found on the handle of a hammer:
CAUTION: DO NOT USE THIS HAMMER TO STRIKE ANY SOLID OBJECT.
(We should, perhaps, strike the air with this hammer?)
Found on a butane lighter:
WARNING: FLAME MAY CAUSE FIRE.
Ya think?!?!?!
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