True Courtroom Drama
I was in landlord tenant court suffering through the calendar call. In this county the clerk usually skips over my cases on the first call because I'm a legal-aid type lawyer and he wants to give every possible break to the stray landlord who possibly couldn't find a place to park and get there on time. (Of course, if the tenant misses the first call, they are evicted, but that's not what the story's about.) I had to listen to about fifteen cases before he got to mine. Landlord after landlord, tenant after tenant, until I was nearly comatose. The room emptied out until it was just me, and the clerk, and a few other people. He called the next case, and they came forward.
The landlord and his wife were, I'd guess, in their late fifties. The tenant was a young woman, maybe 25. The debate started: had she paid the rent for July, what did she owe, did she pay August, etc. etc. I wasn't paying attention until I realized the tenant was starting to cry. She pulled a blue plastic bag out of her pocket book and said, "You don't understand what an animal this man is! Look what he left in this bag on my doorknob!"
The clerk says, "Ma'am, I don't need to know."
The tenant was really sobbing now. She held the bag out to the court officer, who refused it. So she opened the bag, still crying, and said, "Look what he left!"
It was a rubber dildo, I'm guessing about 8" long, flesh colored, and she waved it in the air. "Look!" she sobbed. "He told me it's his wife's and he wants me to fill it with my juices so we can play with it!"
Now Mrs. Landlord steps back from the table and yells at the tenant, "You lying bitch! That's not mine!" She reaches into her purse and pulls out another rubber dildo and shakes it in front of her. "THIS one is MINE. THAT one is YOURS!"
This page hosted by 
Get your own Free Home Page