Medical Dictionary for Rednecks
Antibody: against everyone
Artery: The study of fine paintings
Bacteria: back door to a cafeteria
Barium: What doctors do when patients die
Benign: what you be after you be eight
Bowel: letters like A, E, I, O, or U
Caesarian Section: A neighborhood in Rome
Cardiology: advance study of poker playing
Cat Scan: searching for one's lost kitty
Cauterize: Made eye contact with her
Colic: A sheep dog
Coma: a punctuation mark
Congenital: friendly
Cortisone: the local courthouse
D & C: Where Washington is
Dilate: To live longer
Enema: Not a friend
ER: the things on your head that you hear with
Fibrillate: to tell lies
Fibula: A small lie
Genes: blue denim slacks
Genital: Not a Jew
G I Series: Military ball game
Hemorrhoid: a male from outer space
Impotent: Distinguished, well known
Labor Pain: Getting hurt at work
Minor Operation: somebody else's surgery
Morbid:A higher offer
Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates
Nod: Was aware of
Organ Transplant: what you do to your piano when you move
Outpatient: A person who has fainted
Pap Smear: Fatherhood test
Paralyze: two far-fetched stories
Pathological: a reasonable way to go
Pharmacist: person who makes a living dealing in agriculture
Post-Operative: Letter carrier
Protein: in favor of young people
Recovery Room: Place to do upholstery
Red Blood Count: Dracula's calculator
Rheumatic: amorous
Secretion: hiding anything
Seizure: Roman emperor
Tablet: Small table
Terminal Illness: Getting sick at the airport
Tibia: country in North Africa
Triple Bypass: better than a quarterback sneak
Tumor: and extra pair
Urine: Opposite of "you're out"
Varicose: very close
Vein: conceited
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