Some things you would NOT want to hear during surgery!
•"Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"
•Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
•Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
•Hand me that ... uh ... that uh..... thingie.
•Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
•Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
•There go the lights again...
•"Ya know, there's big money in kidneys.. and this guy's got two of 'em.
•Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
•Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.
•What's this doing here?
•I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.
•That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
•Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
•Sterile, schmerle. The floor's clean, right?
•What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change...
•OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature
•This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
•Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
•Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
•What do you mean "You want a divorce"!
•FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
•Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
WHAT DOCTORS SAY VS. WHAT THEY MEAN
They Say: "Welllllll, what have we here...?"
They Say: "Let me check your medical history."
They Say: "Why don't we make another appointment later in the week." They Say: "We have some good news and some bad news."
They Mean: "I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month, but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself."
They Mean: "I have no idea and I'm hoping you'll give him a clue."
They Mean: "I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending any more time with you."
They Mean: "I'm playing golf this afternoon, and this is keeping me from the links."
--or-- "I need the bucks, so I'm charging you for another office visit."
They Mean: "The good news is, I'm going to buy that new BMW. The bad news is, you're going to pay for it."
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