Chatting has been known to inspire hopes and dreams, but also, consume time and causes insanity. It can also cause the user to sit hunched over a computer, staring at the monitor until the wee hours of the morning! Further, chatting causes a poor diet, flat behind and the ability to avoid going to the bathroom. If you have any of these symptoms you are already headed for ~~BIG TROUBLE~~

Your electric bill has tripled in size.

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You had to get an extra phone line so your friends can call.

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When you introduce yourself, you give your screen name.

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When you greet someone on the street, you tip your head and smile like this: 8-)

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You forgot how to work the TV remote control.

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You see something funny and scream, "LOL, LOL."

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You meet the mailman at the curb and swear he said, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL."

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You fall asleep, but instead of dreams you get IMs.

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Tech support calls YOU for help.

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You beg your friends to get an account so you can "hang out."

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You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it.

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You say "SCROLL UP" when someone asks what it was you said.

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You sneak away to your computer when everyone goes to sleep.

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You talk on the phone with the same person you are sending an instant message to.

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You look at an annoying person off line and wish that you had your ignore button handy.

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You start to experience "withdrawal" after not being online for 30 minutes.

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You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

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You've gone to an unstaffed AOL room to give tech support.

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Being called a newbie is a major insult to you.

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You're on the phone and say BRB.

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You need to be pried from your computer by the Jaws-of-life.

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You get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and decide to just check your mail.

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Then you realize the sun has come up.

You know you're addicted to the internet when:

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You kiss your girlfrinds home page before going to bed.

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Your Bookmarks take 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.

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You find yourself typing "com" after every full stop when using a wordprocessor.com. (oops!)

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You refer to going to the toilet as downloading.

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You step out of your room and realise that you have parents/partner.

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Your wife drapes a wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.

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All of your friends have an @ in their names.

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You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.

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You check your e-mail and it says "no new messages" so you call your ISP and complain.

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Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.

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You name your children Eudora, Netscape and Ram.

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Your husband tells you he's had the beard for 12 months.

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You ask a plumber how much it will cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.

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You forget how to turn your television on.

jessie555@hotmail.com

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