Things NOT To Say When Pulled Over By The Police
12. When the officer says, "Gee son, your eyes look red, been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with "Gee, Officer, your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
11. "I was only trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around, but that shows you just how far ahead of me they've gotten."
10. "Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does."
9. "Gee, officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!"
8. "I pay your salary!"
7. "You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?"
6. "Wow! I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer."
5. "Are you Andy or Barney?"
4. "Hey, you must've been doin' about 130 or better to keep up with me! Good job!"
3. "Aren't you the guy from the Village People?"
2. "Sorry, officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in."
1. "If you can just hold this beer for a second, I can reach around and get my license."
A truck driver was pulled over by a State Trooper. The patrolman told him to get out of the truck, and noticed the driver appeared to be putting something in his mouth as he stepped out of the cab. Figuring the driver was putting away his pep pills, the patrolman asked "Did I just see you swallow something?"
"Yep, that was my birth control pill," said the driver.
"Birth control pill?" asked the patrolman.
"Yep, when I saw your flashing light, I knew I was screwed."
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