Here are some new ways to define words!
Daffynitions!
A.A.A.A.A.: an organization for drunks who drive.
Anarchy: such a good idea, it should be the law
Answer: what everybody is still looking for
Antonym: the opposite of the word you're trying to think of
Anxiety: Nature's way of getting you up mornings
Armadillo: to provide weapons to a Spanish pickle
Automobile: A mechanical device that runs up hills and down people
Batch: a group, kinda like a herd
Bore: one who, upon being asked how they are, tells you
Boy: a noise with dirt on it
Brain: the apparatus with which we think that we think
Capitalism: man exploiting man. Socialism: the reverse
Cheating: playing by the rules they teach in business school
Childish game: one at which you cannot beat your spouse
Chocolate: the other major food group
Clearasol: effective sunspot remover.
Clock: a small mechanical device to wake up people without children
Conclusion: place where somebody got tired of thinking
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps
Cynic: someone who smells the flowers and looks for the casket
Death: life's way of telling you you've been fired.
Death: nature's way of saying "slow down."
Dime: A dollar after taxes
Diplomacy: the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.
Diplomat: someone who can tell you to go to hell and make you feel happy to be on your way.
Dogmatism: puppyism come to full growth
Experience: What you get when you don't get what you want.
Fairy tales: horror stories for children to get them use to reality
Feudalism: when it's your Count that votes
Fine: tax for doing wrong Tax: fine for doing fine
Flashlight: a case for holding dead batteries
Foot: a device for finding furniture in the dark
Frisbeetarianism: the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
Gravity: not just a good idea, it's the law!
Gross ignorance: 144 times worse than normal ignorance
Ground Beef: a cow with no legs
Health: merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die
Idiot: member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.
Jury: twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer
Karaoke: a Japanese word meaning "tone deaf"
Kodaclone: duplicating film
Laughing stock: Cattle with a sense of humor.
Life: what happens to you while you are planning to do something else
Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math
Lysdexia: a peech imspediment we live to learn with...
Misfortune: the kind of fortune that never misses.
Mop & Glow: floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team
NyQuil: the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-room-spinning medicine
Nudists: people who wear one-button suits.
Opera: where a guy gets stabbed in the back and sings about it
Oxymoron: one who does not know how to use pimple medication
Pizza: perfect food containing the four food groups
Poverty: having too much month left at the end of the money
Professor: someone who talks in somebody else's sleep
Puritanism: the haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy
Racial prejudice: a pigment of the imagination
Reality: the only obstacle to happiness
Shin: Device for finding furniture in the dark.
Skier: someone who pays an arm and a leg to break them
Sleep: That fleeting moment just before the alarm goes off
Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
Success: just a matter of luck--ask any failure
Trapezoid: a device for catching zoids
Witlag: the delay between delivery and comprehension of a joke
Work: the slow, dragging fingernail on the blackboard of life
For more like this...{Accidental Reports}{Strange Ads}
{English Is Chaos!} {Coffin!}{Actual Headlines} {More Actual Headlines}
{New Words} {Puns} [More Puns}
This page hosted by 
Get your own Free Home Page