The following are
ACTUAL newspaper headlines
collected by journalists

20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar
Air Head Fired
Antique Stripper to Display Wares at Store
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Autos Killing 110 a Day--Let's Resolve to Do Better
Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Blind Bishop Appointed To See
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Cancer Society Honors Marlboro Man
Caribbean Islands Drift to Left
Carter Plans Swell Deficit
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Collegians are Turning to Vegetables
County Officials to Talk Rubbish
Croupiers On Strike--Management: "No Big Deal"
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Death Causes Loneliness, Feelings of Isolation
Deer Kill 17,000
Defendants Speech Ends in Long Sentence
Diaper Market Bottoms Out
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in `84
Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
Eye Drops off Shelf
Farmer Bill Dies in House
Flaming Toilet Seat Causes Evacuation at High School
Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's Kin
Half of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study for Graduation
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Include your Children When Baking Cookies
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
For more like this:
{English Is Chaos}
{English Is a Punny Language}
{Daffynitions}
{Actual Headlines}
{Accident Reports}
{The Coffin}
{Newspaper Ads}
{Ten New Words}
{Church Bulletin Bloopers}

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