A Punster's Dictionary
Arson: Our daughter's brother
Author: A person who is usually write
Autobiography: A history of cars
Avowal: a, e, i, o, u, and sometimes y
Bassinet: What every fisherman wants
Belong: To take your time
Coffee: Break Fluid
Comma: What a medium falls into
Complaint: A grief resume
Condescend: A prisoner escaping down the wall using a rope
Denounce: Words that name things, not de verbs, de adjectives, etc.
Document: Repeating what your doctor told you in your own words
Dogma: A mother dog
Earthquake: A topographical error
Feast: An eat wave
Flattery: Phony express
Fission: What Huck Finn did when he played hookey
Geometry: What the acorn said when it grew up
Grateful: What it takes to build a good fire
>HR>Handicap: A ready-to-use hat
Hanging: A suspended sentence
Hari-Kari: Transporting a wig
Hunger: What the posse did to the lady rustler
Hypochondriac: A guy who won't let well enough alone
Hypothesis: What a boy says to his father on the telephone
Intense: Where campers sleep
Kinship: Your brother's boat
Legend: The edge of a cliff
Minimum: A very small mother
Paradise: Ivory cubes used in craps and backgammon
Paradox: Two physicians
Paraffins: Found on the sides of fish
Paralyze: Two untruths
Praise: Letting off esteem
Protein: (1) An advocate of teen-agers rights (2) Lady of the street too young to vote
Sherbet: A tip on a horse race or sporting event
Skier: A person who jumps to contusions
Sleet: A slipcover
Stirrup: What you do with cake batter
Subsidy: A town underneath another town
Thursday: How you feel crossing the desert on a hot day
Valorous: A big animal vit tusks vot lives in vater
Vanguard: A person who protects trucks
Violinist: A high-strung musician
Washable: What a cowboy does very carefully
Wholesale: Where a gopher goes to buy a home
Backward: Patient rooms at the rear of a hospital
Carpet: A dog who enjoys riding in an automobile
Deduce: De lowest card in de deck
Eclipse: What a gardener does to your hedge
Falsehood: Someone who pretends to be a gangster
Gentle: (1) Reproductive organ (2) Non-Jewish
Indecision: Under the whether
Ketchup: What the runners behind in a race want to do
Laundress: A gown worn while sitting on the grass
Midget: Center engine of a three-engine fast plane
Nitrate: Cheapest price for calling long distance
Observatory: What Washington asked his spies to do
Pandemonium: A housing development for pandas
Rampage: Section of a book about male sheep
Sarcasm: Quip lash
Tenure: A year after nineure
Unabated: A fishhook without a worm
Warehouse: What you ask when you're lost
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