More of Your Favorite Bumper Stickers!
Remember: A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door!
24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ... coincidence? I don't think so!!!
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
Don't get mad, get even.
Electrical Engineers do it with less resistance.
Grow your own Dope - Plant a Politician.
It's no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts.
It's not hard to meet expences. They're everywhere!
Just when I finally got my head together, my body started falling apart.
Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
Life is what happens to you while you're planning to do something else.
Life's a bitch, and then you die.
Mediocrity thrives on standardization.
My life has a superb cast, but I can't figure out the plot.
Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.
Old MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement; E-I-E-I-O!
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
Philadelphia is not dull -- it just seems so because it is next to exciting Camden, New Jersey.
Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.
Remember that whatever misfortune may be your lot, it could only be worse in Cleveland.
Show respect for age. Drink good scotch for a change.
Some grow with responsibility, others just swell.
Somebody ought to cross ball point pens with coat hangers so that the pens will multiply instead of disappear.
Spend sufficient time confirming the need and the need will disappear.
Serving coffee on aircraft causes turbulence.
Stealing a rhinoceros should not be attempted lightly.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
The new Congressmen say they're going to turn the government around. I hope I don't get run over again.
The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all your time.
The way to make a small fortune in the commodities market is to start with a large fortune.
The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.
The road to to success is always under construction.
Those who can't write, write help files.
To be, or not to be, those are the parameters.
To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
Today is the last day of your life so far.
Wasting time is an important part of life.
When all else fails, read the instructions.
When in doubt, don't bother.
Xeroxers do it again and again and again and...
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