Pick Your Favorite Bumper Stickers!
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
Always remember you are unique, just like everybody else.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
"More hay, Trigger?"
"No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!"
There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
Assassins do it from behind.
Double your drive space - delete Windows!
If you can't beat them, join them in the celebration!
If you don't care where you are, then you aren't lost.
If you have a difficult task, give it to someone lazy, who will find an easier way to do it.
If you think nobody cares you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Inside every small problem is a large problem struggling to get out.
IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
It is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice versa.
Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!
Miracles have happened before. Look at you!
My karma ran over my dogma.
Never call a man a fool. Borrow from him.
People usually get what's coming to them...unless it's been mailed.
Pro is to con as progress is to Congress.
Question on government questionnaire: "Have you ever committed suicide?"
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.
Two can live as cheaply as one for half as long.
What makes the universe so hard to comprehend is that there's nothing to compare it with.
When in doubt, ignore it.
When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.
For more like this... {Bumper Stickers} {More Bumper Stickers} {BumperSnickers}
{Becoming an Evil Overlord} {One Liners} {You're Broke!}
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