You know it's going to be a bad day when...

You want to put on the clothes that you wore home from the party and there aren't any.

Your blind date turns out to be your ex-(-wife, -husband, -lover).
You wake up face down on the pavement.
You put your bra/jockeys on backwards and it/they fit better.
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the highway.
Your son tells you he wishes gay-bashers would mind their own business.
Your twin sister forgot your birthday.
You wake up and discover that your waterbed sprang a leak, and then you realize that you don't have a waterbed.
You see a 60 Minutes news team waiting in your office.

jessie555@hotmail.com

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