Virginity like bubble. One prick - all gone!
Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk thru airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man trapped in whore house get jerked around.
Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.
Man who run in front of car get tired;
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Man who farts in church sits in own pew.
Baseball is wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk!
Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it.
Woman who wear G-string, high on crack!
War not determine who's right. War determine who's left.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out!
If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Man who sleep in cathouse by day, sleep in doghouse by night.
Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night!
If you park, do not drink; accidents cause people.
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there!
Man who sit on tack get point!
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!
Man who lives in glass house should change in basement
Boy who go to bed with sexual problem wake up with problem in hand.
People who make Confucius joke speak bad English.
He who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
Yesterday is history; tomorrow a mystery.
Today is a gift, that's why called the present!
"Your fullness will be short-lived. Like an hour, tops."
"Put all your money and jewelry in the egg roll and nobody gets hurt."
"Today's dog in alley is tomorrow's moo goo gai pan."
"Patron who mocks waiter's accent will unwittingly consume chef's bodily fluids."
"Man who look to stale cookie for advice probably make good busboy. Ask waitress for application."
"Your strength lies in your continued belief that what you just ate was indeed duck."
"Creative Chinese chef without utensils can still find ways to stir soup."
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