Remember Murphy's Law?
Well, here are LOTS and LOTS of Laws! PART 2
Finagle's First Law: If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
Finagle's Second Law: No matter what the experiment's result, there will always be someone eager to:(a) misinterpret it. (b) fake it. or (c) believe it supports his own pet theory.
Finagle's Third Law: In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, beyond all need of checking, is the mistake.
First Law of Bicycling: No matter which way you ride, it's uphill and against the wind.
First Law of Corporate Planning: There is no such thing.
First Law of Socio-Genetics: Celibacy is not hereditary.
First Postulate of Isomurphism: Things equal to nothing else are equal to each other.
Fourth Law of Applied Terror: The night before the English History mid-term, your Biology instructor will assign 200 pages on planaria.
Fourth Law of Applied Terror Corollary: Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor's class.
Fifth Law of Applied Terror: If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
Fifth Law of Applied Terror Corollary: If you are given a take-home test, you will forget where you live.
Gerrold's Laws of Infernal Dynamics:
1. An object in motion will be heading in the wrong direction.
2. An object at rest will be in the wrong place.
Gibb's Law: Infinity is one lawyer waiting for another.
Ginsberg's Theorem: 1. You can't win. 2. You can't break even. 3. You can't even quit the game.
Goldenstern's Rules: 1. Always hire a rich attorney. 2. Never buy from a rich salesman.
Grossman's Misquote: Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.
Handy Guide to Modern Science:
1. If it's green or it wiggles, it's biology.
2. If it stinks, it's chemistry.
3. If it doesn't work, it's physics.
Harrison's Postulate: For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Hartley's First Law: You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to float on his back, you've got something.
Heller's Law: The first myth of management is that it exists.
Herblock's Law: If it is good, they will stop making it.
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