Tips for Surviving the Modern World
If you're bidding on a job for UPS, don't send your bid by FedEx.
If your computer says "Printer out of paper," this problem cannot be solved by clicking the "OK" button.
If you want your refrigerator's ice maker to work, you need to hook it up to the water source. Air doesn't make good ice unless it is mixed with water.
No matter how much data you add to your laptop computer, it will not get any heavier.
A bad place to store your emergency backup diskette is on the underside of your desk drawer, secured by a large magnet.
It's OK to use the Polaroid Land Camera on a boat.
When the PC says "Insert Diskette #2" don't do it immediately. Remove Diskette #1 first, even if you're sure you can make them both fit in there.
When your PC says "You have mail," don't go to the company mail room and look for a package.
The French version of the Netscape Navigator doesn't translate English web pages into French.
If you're in the armed services, and it's April 1st, and you get a call from Col. Sanders for new orders...DON'T CALL BACK!
If you go to the computer store to buy a mouse pad, you don't have to specify whether it's for Windows or Mac.
You do not need your passport to get into New Mexico.
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