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(From Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery)
The details of my life are quite inconsequential….
My father was a relentlessly self improving belangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy, and a penchant for buggery.
My mother was an 18 year old prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.
My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy ; The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess, and the insane lament.
My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons, in the spring we made meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reads - pretty standard really.
At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of 14 a ZoroAustrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shrewn scrotum. It's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.
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