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Myself the Observer

So how are your kids doing? Without having another parent to chat with, we are left wondering some serious questions. Am I doing enough? Should I be doing something different? Am I too harsh or too lenient? As a single parent it is easy to second guess the parenting style you’ve chosen. Not having someone to bounce your ideas off can be stressful and potentially cause us to react in ways we normally wouldn’t. So how do we measure our parenting. I used to say that I wouldn’t know for sure until my daughter was an adult, and old enough to tell me. But, I realize that may be too late, with no chance to make changes or adjustments along the way. This has made me take a look at how I can evaluate on the fly so to speak. I like to think of myself as an observer, in all aspects of my life I watch others and try to learn from them. I watch people I want to emulate, and people I want to avoid becoming. Meshing these together I find answers to the questions I ponder. So, I look at how I can roll with life’s ups and downs and find ways to see if my little offspring is growing up the way I had hoped or if she is assuming personality traits I’d rather she didn’t have. I’m not going to wait till she is old enough to tell me as an adult. I’m watching her, reading her, and as she grows, I am absorbing what I can from her. I guess this is one of the things that as a single parent we need to be more aware of.
I’m not saying that the nuclear family doesn’t need to pay attention, but at least they have each other to bounce ideas off when needed. There is a quote that I carry around with me to help remind me of this by Stacia Tauscher, “We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that she is someone today”. This gives back some responsibility to the parent. We need to pay closer attention to our growing child, to accept that they are telling us. They are telling us every day how they are doing. Every time they show us emotions, happy, sad, or mad, they are grading us on our parenting skills. The trick for us as parents is to notice our own childs grading style….. So the best thing we can do is to be aware that we are constantly being graded by one of our most important teachers, our children. Once we’ve accepted this we can move on and adjust our relationship with our children as we grow with them. And if we roll with life as it happens, we’ll be able to have peace of mind. No need to worry about tomorrow, if we remember that they are someone right here and now.

Enjoy your child today.
Shawn Reeder sage bike

Following in dad's cycling heritage (although I'm not too sure as to the aero properties of the streamers...)

sage on the beach

Canada Day!

	Myself the Observer So how are your kids doing? Without having another parent to chat with, we are left wondering some serious questions. Am I doing enough? Should I be doing something different? Am I too harsh or too lenient? As a single parent it is easy to second guess the parenting style you’ve chosen. Not having someone to bounce your ideas off can be stressful and potentially cause us to react in ways we normally wouldn’t. So how do we measure our parenting. I used to say that I wouldn’t know for sure until my daughter was an adult, and old enough to tell me. But, I realize that may be too late, with no chance to make changes or adjustments along the way. This has made me take a look at how I can evaluate on the fly so to speak. I like to think of myself as an observer, in all aspects of my life I watch others and try to learn from them. I watch people I want to emulate, and people I want to avoid becoming. Meshing these together I find answers to the questions I ponder. So, I look at how I can roll with life’s ups and downs and find ways to see if my little offspring is growing up the way I had hoped or if she is assuming personality traits I’d rather she didn’t have. I’m not going to wait till she is old enough to tell me as an adult. I’m watching her, reading her, and as she grows, I am absorbing what I can from her. I guess this is one of the things that as a single parent we need to be more aware of. I’m not saying that the nuclear family doesn’t need to pay attention, but at least they have each other to bounce ideas off when needed. There is a quote that I carry around with me to help remind me of this by Stacia Tauscher, “We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that she is someone today”. This gives back some responsibility to the parent. We need to pay closer attention to our growing child, to accept that they are telling us. They are telling us every day how they are doing. Every time they show us emotions, happy, sad, or mad, they are grading us on our parenting skills. The trick for us as parents is to notice our own childs grading style….. So the best thing we can do is to be aware that we are constantly being graded by one of our most important teachers, our children. Once we’ve accepted this we can move on and adjust our relationship with our children as we grow with them. And if we roll with life as it happens, we’ll be able to have peace of mind. No need to worry about tomorrow, if we remember that they are someone right here and now. Enjoy your child today. Shawn Reeder	Following in dad's cycling heritage (although I'm not too sure as to the aero properties of the streamers...) Canada Day!