THE IDLER 

Idler # 1

“The Idler’s character”

It will be easily believed of the Idler, that if his title had required any search, he never would have found it.  The Idler who habituates himself to be satisfied with what he can easily obtain, not only escapes labours which are often fruitless, but sometimes succeeds better than those who despise all that is within their reach, and think of every thing more valuable as it is harder to be acquired…Every man is, or hopes to be, an Idler. To be idle is the ultimate purpose of the busy…Who can be more idle than the reader of the Idler?…Perhaps man is the only being that does by others what he might do himself, or sacrifices duty or pleasure to the love of ease…Though the Idler has many projects in his head, he is now grown sparing of communication. His hearers are apt to remember what he forgets…Those who tempt nothing themselves, think every thing easily performed, and consider the unsuccessful always as criminal…The Idler makes no contract, nor incurs no obligation. He may sometimes be stimulated to vigour and activity...Those who suffer disappointment which commonly follows ill-placed expectations, are to lay the blame only on themselves.

 Idler # 2  

“Invitation of correspondents” 

Many positions are often on the tongue, and seldom in the mind; there are many truths which every human being acknowledges and forgets…It is generally known, that he who expects much will often be disappointed; yet disappointment seldom cures us of expectations, or has any other effect, than that of producing a moral sentence, or peevish exclamation...He that embarks on the voyage of life, will always wish to advance rather by impulse of the wind, than the strokes of the oar, and many founder in the passage, while they lie waiting for the gale that is to waft them to their wish…The splendour of reputation is not to be counted among the necessaries of life…Solicitation of letters and compliments by the Idler.

 Idler # 3

 “The Idler’s reason for writing”

 A new paper lies under the same disadvantages as a new play. There is danger lest it be new without novelty…Many philosophers imagine, that the elements themselves may be in time exhausted, that the sun, by shining long, will effuse all its light; and that, by the continued waste of aqueous particles, the whole earth will at last become a sandy desert. I would not advise my readers to disturb themselves by contriving how they shall live without light and water. For the days of universal thirst and perpetual darkness are at a great distance…There are said to be pleasures in madness known only to madmen. There are certain miseries in idleness, which only the Idler can conceive…Those who will not take the trouble to think for themselves, have always somebody to think for them; and the difficulty in writing is to please those from whom others learn to be pleased…It is naturally indifferent to this race of men, what entertainment they receive, so they are but entertained. They catch, with equal eagerness, at a moral lecture, or the memoirs of a robber; prediction of the appearance of a comet, or the calculation of the chances of a lottery…The Idler has himself to please, and has long learned, or endeavoured to learn, not to make the pleasures of others too necessary to his own.

 Idler # 4

 “Charities and hospitals”

 Charity or tenderness for the poor, which is now justly considered, by a great part of mankind, as inseparable from piety…The devotion of life or fortune to the succour of the poor, is a height of virtue, to which humanity has never risen by its own power…No sooner is a new species of misery brought to view, and a design of relieving it professed, than every hand is open to contribute something, every tongue is busied in solicitation, and every art of pleasure is employed for a time in the interest of virtue...Compassion is by some reasoners, on whom the name of philosophers has been too easily conferred, resolved into an affection merely selfish, an involuntary perception of pain at the involuntary sight of a being like ourselves languishing in misery. 

Idler # 5

 “Proposal for a female army”

 Our troops proceed with proper caution. But how shall the ladies endure without them? Of fifty thousand men, if we allow each to have been occasionally necessary only to four women. A short computation will inform us, that two hundred thousand ladies are left to languish in distress; two hundred thousand ladies, who must run to sales and auctions without an attendant, sit at a play, without a critick to direct their opinion, buy their fans by their own judgement, dispose shells by their own invention; walk in the Mall without a gallant, etc. Many useful offices are performed by men in scarlet, to which neither dog nor monkey has adequate abilities...We who allow females to be sovereigns, may surely suppose them capable to be soldiers...It were to be wished that our encampments should comprise an equal number of men and women, who should march and fight in mingled bodies...I cannot find that a modern soldier has any duties, except that of obedience, which a lady cannot perform...The troops of Braddock never saw their enemies, and perhaps were defeated by women. 

 Idler # 6

 “Lady’s performance on horseback”

 The lady who had undertaken to ride on one horse a thousand miles in a thousand hours, has completed her journey in little more than two-thirds of the time stipulated. 

Idler # 7

 “Scheme for news-writers”

 One of the principal amusements of the Idler is to read the works of those minute historians, the writers of news, who though contemptuously overlooked by the composers of bulky volumes, are yet necessary in a nation where much wealth produces much leisure, and one part of the people has nothing to do but to observe the lives and fortunes of the other…The common talk of men must relate to facts in which the talkers have, or think they have, an interest…The compilation of newspapers is often committed to narrow and mercenary minds, not qualified for the task of delighting or instructing; who are content to fill their paper, with whatever matter, without industry to gather, or discernment to select. Thus journals are daily multiplied without increase of knowledge…The tale of the morning paper is told again in the evening, and the narratives of the evening are bought again in the morning…The morning and evening authors, might share an event between them.

 Idler # 8

 “Plan of military discipline”

 In the time of public danger, it is every man’s duty to withdraw his thoughts in some measure from his private interest, and employ part of his time for the general welfare. National conduct ought to be the result of national wisdom, a plan formed by mature consideration and diligent selection out of all the schemes, which may be offered, and all the information which can be procured…At one time we have been beaten by enemies whom we did not see; and, at another, have avoided the sight of enemies lest we should be beaten…Farcical discussion of how a French knight defeated a dragon…When our men are no longer to be frightened they can bear at once the grimaces of the Gauls, and the howl of the Americans.  

Item # 9

 “Progress of idleness”

 Indulgence and idleness the same…A letter from an indolent reader…There is no mark more certain of a genuine Idler, than uneasiness without molestation, and complaint without grievance…He that calls for directions to be idle, is yet but in the rudiments of idleness, and has attained neither the practice nor theory of wasting life…Of all the enemies of idleness, want is the most formidable…He that never labours may know the pains of idleness, but not the pleasure.

 Item # 10 

 “Political credulity”

 Credulity, or confidence of opinion too great for the evidence from which opinion is derived, we find to be a general weakness imputed by every sect and party to all others, and indeed by every man to every other man…Of all kinds of credulity, the most obstinate and wonderful is that of political zealots of men who resign the use of their own eyes and ears, and resolve to believe nothing that does not favour those whom they profess to follow…The Cartesian denies that his horse feels the spur, or that the hare is afraid  when the hounds approach her; the  disciple of Malbranche, who maintains that the man was not hurt by the bullet; the follower of Berkeley, who while he sits writing at his table, declares that he has neither table, paper, nor fingers; have all the honour at least of being deceived of fallacies not easily detected, and may plead that they did not forsake truth, but for appearances which they were not able to distinguish from it…The Idler meets every hour of his life men who have different opinions upon every thing past, present, and future, who deny the most notorious facts, contradict the most cogent truths…Discussion of two companions, who are grown old in idleness, Tom Tempest and Jack Sneaker.

 Item # 11

 “Discourse on the weather”

 Any connection between seasons and literary fecundity is sheer nonsense…Treats with contempt the opinion that our mental faculties depend, in some degree, upon the weather...It was the boast of the Stoic philosophy, to make man unshaken by calamity, and unelated by success, incorruptible by pleasure, and invulnerable by pain: these are hights of wisdom which none ever attained and to which few can aspire.

 Item # 12

 “Marriages why advertised”

 There is a particular period of life, in which this fondness for a name seems principally to predominate in both sexes. Scarce any couple comes together but the nuptials are declared in the newspapers with encomiums on each party…Whence it arises that on the day of marriage all agree to call thus openly for honours, I am not able to discover. Some, perhaps, think it kind, by a public declaration, to put an end to the hopes of rivalry and the fears of jealousy, to let parents know that they may set their daughters at liberty whom they have locked up for fear of the bridegroom, or to dismiss to their counters and their offices the amorous youths that had been used to hover round the dwelling of the bride. These connubial praises may have another cause. It may be the intention of the husband and wife to dignify themselves in the eyes of each other, and, according to their different tempers or expectations, to view affection, or enforce respect. How long the wife will be persuaded of the eminence of her husband, or the husband continue to believe that his wife has the qualities required to make marriage happy, may reasonably be questioned. I am afraid that much time seldom passes before each is convinced that praises are fallacious, and particularly those praises which we confer upon ourselves.

 Idler # 13

 “The imaginary housewife”

 Few men of prudence are much inclined to interpose in disputes between man and wife, who commonly make peace at the expense of the arbitrator…A housewife keeps daughters busy, is an irreconcible enemy to idleness, in which the hands are not employed, or some art acquired, by which she thinks money may be got or saved…What is done with so much labour might have been supplied by a very easy purchase; that the work is not always worth the materials…The daughters grow up in total ignorance of every thing past, present and future…I ventured to propose that the girls should now learn to read and write, and mentioned the necessity of a little arithmetick; but, unhappily, my wife discovered that linen wears out, and has bought the girls three little wheels, that they may spin the huckaback for the servants’ table.

 Idler # 14

 “Admiration of the cynic. Alexander’s visit to Diogenes. Robbery of time”

 Alexander asked Diogenes what he petitioned and was asked to move and not intercept the sunshine, taking what he could not give…He that does much good, may be allowed to do sometimes a little harm…Time once passed never returns and therefore ought, above all other kinds of property, to be free from invasion; and yet there is no man who does not claim the power of wasting that time which is the right of others…If all would seriously reflect, that whoever pays a visit that is not desired, or talks longer than the hearer is willing to attend, is guilty of an injury which he cannot repair, and takes away that which he cannot give.

 Idler # 15

 “Treacle’s complaint of his wife”

 A man of business has a wife with a good education, who has nothing to do and although he is very busy in his shop wastes his valuable time in a variety of trivial ways. 

Idler # 16

 “Ned Drugget’s retirement”

 Drugget’s exemplary conduct in business was recommended by every master to his apprentice, and by every father to his son. Ned was not only considered as a thriving trader, but as a man of elegance and politeness. Ned is one of those whose happiness, marriage has increased. He had by his parsimony accumulated a considerable sum, to which the fortune of his wife was now added. His riches neither made him uncivil nor negligent; he rose at the same hour, attended with the same assiduity, and bowed with the same gentleness. He talked three years of the pleasure of the country, but passed every night over his own shop…At last he resolved to be happy, and hired a lodging in the country, that he may steal some hours in week from business…The Idler was invited to this seat of quiet and contemplation and Ned was found in a room which overlooked the high road, amusing himself with looking through the window, which clouds of dust would not suffer him to open…After dinner he again repeated the praises of the country, recommended the pleasures of meditation, and told his guests that he had been all morning at the window, counting the carriages as they passed before him.

 Idler # 17

 “Expedients of idlers”

 To be idle and to be poor have always been reproaches, and therefore every man endeavours with his utmost care, to hide his poverty from others, and his idleness from himself…A violent section against vivisection of animals…Among those who never could be persuaded to rank themselves as idlers and who speak with indignation of morning sleeps and nocturnal rambles; one passes the day in catching spiders, that he may count their eyes with a microscope; another erects his head, and exhibits the dust of a marigold separated from the flower with a dexterity worthy of Leeuwenhoek himself. Some turn the wheel of electricity, some suspend rings to a loadstone, and find that what they did yesterday they can do again today.

 Idler # 18

 “Drugget vindicated”

 The public pleasures of far the greater part of mankind are counterfeit…It commonly happens to him who endeavours to obtain distinction by ridicule or censure, that he teaches others to practice his own arts against himself, and that, after a short enjoyment of the applause paid to his sagacity, or of the mirth excited by his wit, he is doomed to suffer the same severities of scrutiny, to hear inquiry detecting his faults, and exaggeration sporting with his failings... Very few are careful to analyze their enjoyments. The general condition of life is so full of misery, that we are glad to catch delight without inquiring whence it comes, or by what power bestowed…The mind is seldom quickened to very vigorous operations but by pain, or the dread of pain. We do not disturb ourselves with the detection of fallacies which do us no harm, nor willingly decline a pleasing effect to investigate its cause. He that is happy, by whatever means, desires nothing but the continuance of happiness…Pleasure is seldom such as it appears to others, nor often such as we represent it to ourselves…If Drugget pretended to pleasure of which he had no perception, or boasted of one amusement where he was indulging another, what did he which is not done by all those who read this story?

 Idler # 19

 “Whirler’s character”

 Many perceive the force of contrary arguments, find quiet shameful, and business dangerous, and therefore pass their lives between them, in bustle without business, and negligence without quiet. Among this set is Jack Whirler, whose business keeps him in perpetual motion, and whose motion always eludes his business; who is always to do what he never does, who cannot stand still because he is wanted in another place, and who is wanted in many places because he stays in none…Jack Whirler lives in perpetual fatigue without proportional advantages, because he does not consider that no man can see all with his own eyes, or do all with his own hands; that whoever is engaged in multiplicity to business, must transact much by substitution; and leave something to hazard; and that he who attempts to do all, will waste his life in doing little.

Idler # 20

 “Capture of Louisbourg”

 There is no crime more infamous that the violation of truth. It is apparant that men can be social beings no longer than they believe each other…Men are willing to credit what they wish, and encourage rather those who gratify them with pleasure, than those that instruct them with fidelity...The English historian will imagine himself barely doing justice to English virtue, when he relates the capture of Louisbourg…Let us now oppose his English narrative, the relation which will be produced, by the writer of the age of Louis XV. 

Idler # 21

 “Linger’s history of listlessness”

 There is a species of misery, or of disease, which I think is emphatically denominated listlessness, and which is commonly termed a want of something to do…Those will sympathize with my complaint, whose imagination is active, and resolution weak, whose desires are ardent, and whose choice is delicate; who cannot satisfy themselves with standing still, and yet cannot find a motive to direct their course…The most contemptible of human stations, that of a soldier in time of peace…Time with all its celerity, moves slowly to him whose whole employment is to watch its flight…I rise when I can sleep no longer, and take my morning-walk; I see what I have seen before, and return. I sit down, and persuade myself that I sit down to think; find it impossible to think without a subject, rise up to inquire after the news, and endeavour to kindle in myself an artificial impatience for intelligence of events, that will never extend any consequence to me, but that, a few minutes, that obstruct me from myself…I should look back with rage and despair upon the waste of life, but that I am now beginning in earnest to begin a reformation. 

Idler # 22

 “Imprisonment of debtors”

 The prosperity of a people is proportionate to the number of hands and minds usefully employed…Whatever body, and whatever society, wastes more than it acquires, must gradually decay; and every being that continues to be fed, and ceases to labour takes away something from the public stock…The confinement, therefore of any man in the sloth and darkness of prison, is a loss to the nation, and no gain to the creditor…The end of all civil regulations is to secure private happiness from private malignity; to keep individuals from the power of one another; but this end is apparantly neglected, when a man, irritated with his loss, is allowed to be the judge of his own cause, and to assign the punishment of his own pain…Since poverty is punished among us as a crime, it ought at least to be treated with the same lenity as other crimes; the offender ought not to languish at the will of him whom he has offended, but to be allowed some appeal to the justice of his country…He that once owes more than he can pay, is often obliged to bribe his creditor to patience, by increasing his debt…It is vain to continue an institution, which experience shows to be ineffectual. We now have imprisoned one generation of debtors after another, but we do not find that their numbers lessen.

 Idler # 23 

 “Uncertainty of friendship” 

Life has no pleasure higher or nobler than that of friendship…The friendship which is to be practical or expected by common, mortals, must take its rise from mutual pleasure, and must end when the power ceases of delighting each other…To give pleasure is not always in our power; and little does he know himself, who believes that he can always be able to receive it…No expectation is more frequently disappointed, than that which naturally arises in the mind from the prospect of meeting an old friend after long separation…Friendship is often destroyed by opposition of interest, not only by the ponderous and visible interest which the desire for wealth and greatness forms and maintains, but by a thousand secret and slight competitions, scarcely known to the mind upon which they operate…Friendship has other enemies. Suspician is always hardening the cautious, and disgust repelling the delicate. Very slender differences will sometimes part those whom long reciprocation of civility or beneficence has united…The most fatal disease of friendship is gradual decay, or dislike hourly increased by causes too slender for complaint, and too numerous for removal. 

Idler # 24

 “Man does not always think”

 It is reasonable to believe, that thought, like every thing else, has its causes and effects; that it must proceed from something known, done, or suffered; and must produce some action or event. Yet how great is the number of those in whose minds no source of thought has ever been opened, in whose life no consequence of thought is ever discovered; who have learned nothing upon which they can reflect; who have neither seen nor felt any thing which could leave its traces on the memory; who neither foresee nor desire any change in their condition and have therefore neither fear, hope, nor design, and yet are supposed to be thinking beings…Life is commonly considered as either active or contemplative…It has been lately a celebrated question in the schools of philosophy, whether the soul always thinks? Some have defined the soul as the power of thinking; have concluded that its essence consists in act; that, if it should cease to act, it would cease to be; that cessation of thought is but another name for extinction of mind.

 Idler # 25

 “New actors on the stage”

 In the theatre nothing is necessary to the amusement of two hours, but to sit down and be willing to be pleased…If in an actor there appears an utter vacancy of meaning, a frigid equality, a stupid languor, a turpid apathy, the greatest kindness that can be shown him is a speedy sentence of expulsion…He that applauds him that does not deserve praise, is endeavouring to deceive the public; he that hisses in malice or sport, is an oppressor and a robber…It is cruel to discourage a poet for ever, because he has not from genius what only experience can bestow…Mistaken notions of superiority, desires of useless show, pride of little accomplishments, and all the train of vanity, will be brushed away by the wing of time…Reproof should not exhaust its power upon petty failings; let it watch diligently against the incursion of vice, and leave foppery and futility to die of themselves. 

Idler # 26

“Betty Broom’s history”

 A letter from a poor girl bred in the country at a charity-school. The chief of subscribers held that it was little less than criminal to teach poor girls how to read and write since they who are born to poverty are born to ignorance and will work harder the less they know… The arguments gained ground and the school was dissolved…She went to London to try her fortune and had a variety of positions.

 Idler # 27

 “Power of habits”

 There is nothing which we estimate so fallaciously as the force of our own resolutions, nor any fallacy which we so unwillingly and tardily detect…When conviction is present, and temptation out of sight, we do not easily conceive how any reasonable being can deviate from his true interest…Custom is commonly too strong for the most resolute resolver, though furnished for the assault with all the weapons of philosophy…Those who are in the power of evil habits must conquer them as they can; and conquered they must be, or neither wisdom nor happiness can be attained; but those who are not yet subject to their influence may, by timely caution, preserve their freedom; they may effectually resolve to escape the tyrant, whom they will very vainly resolve to conquer.

 Idler # 28

 “Wedding-day. Grocer’s wife. Chairman”

 It is very easy for a man who sits idle at home, and has nobody to please but himself, to ridicule or to censure the common practices of mankind; and those who have no present temptation to break the rules of propriety, may applaud his judgement, and join in his meriment; but let the authour or his readers mingle with common life, they will find themselves irresistibly borne away by the stream of custom, and must submit, after they have laughed at others, to give others the same opportunity of laughing at them…Despite approbation of the newspaper which censures the practices of recording vulgar marriages he is found to do so by his new wife’s mother…Letter from the unfortunate wife of the grocer whose letter precedes it…Letter from a chairwoman complaining of equal pay to carry corpulent man and airy young ladies.

 Idler # 29

 “Betty Broom’s history continued”

 Left her last position in haste, to avoid the charge or the suspicion of theft… Dismissed from being an under-maid for spending her time reading, which was thought to be criminal or dangerous. Happy as a maid with her new mistress until death intervened. Continued employment until another mistress died leaving her 500 pounds; with this fortune she settled in her native parish, where she resolved to spend some hours every day in teaching poor girls to read and write.

 Idler # 30

 “Corruption of news-writers”

 The desires of man increase with his acquisitions; every step which he advances brings something within his view, which he did not see before, and, which as soon as he sees it, he begins to want. Where necessity ends, curiosity begins…Money and time are the heaviest burdens of life, and that the unhappiest of all mortals are those who have more of either than they know how to use…One of the amusements of idleness is reading without the fatigue of close attention, and the world therefore swarms with writers whose wish is not to be studied, but to be read…No species of literary man has lately been so much multiplied as the writers of the news…In Sir Henry Wotton’s jocular definition, an ambassador is said to be a man of virtue sent abroad to tell lies for the advantage of his country; a news-writer is a man without virtue, who writes lies at home for his own profit…To these compositions is required neither genius nor knowledge, neither industry nor sprightliness; but contempt of shame and indifference to truth are absolutely necessary. He may confidently tell today what he intends to contradict tomorrow; he may affirm fearlessly what he knows he shall be obliged to contradict tomorrow...In a time of war the nation is always of one mind, eager to hear something good of themselves, and ill of the enemy. At this time the task of the news-writers is easy, they have nothing to do but to tell that a battle is expected, and afterwards that a battle has been fought, in which we and our friends, whether conquoring or conquored, did all, and the enemies did nothing...Among the calamities of war may be justly numbered the diminution of the love of truth and I know not whether more is to be dreaded from streets filled with soldiers accustomed to plunder, or from garrets filled with scribblers accustomed to lie. 

Idler # 31

 “Disguises of idleness. Sober’s character”

 Samuel Johnson is Sober, self deprecating…Many moralists have remarked that pride has of all human vices the widest dominion, appears in the greatest multiplicity of forms, and lies hid under the greatest variety of disguises. Idleness may maintain an obstinate competition…Idleness is a silent and peaceful quality, that neither raises envy by ostentation, nor hatred by opposition; and therefore nobody is busy to censure or detect it…As pride sometimes is hid under humility, idleness is often covered by turbulence and hurry…The art is, to fill the day with petty business, to have always something in hand which may raise curiosity, but not solicitude, and keep the mind in a state of action, but not of labour…Sober’s chief pleasure is conversation; there is no end of his talk or his attention; to speak or to hear is equally pleasing; for he still fancies that he is teaching or learning something, and is free for the time from his own reproaches…But there is one time at night when he must go home, that his friends may sleep; and another time in the morning, when all the world agrees to shut out interruption. These are the moments when poor Sober trembles at the thought…He has attempted the crafts of the shoemaker, tinsman, plumber, and potter; in all these arts he has failed. Sober, at his chemical experiments, sits and counts the drops as they come from his retort, and forgets that, while a drop is falling, a moment flies away.

 Idler # 32

 “On sleep”

 Sleep is a state in which a great part of every life is passed. No searcher has yet found either the efficient or final cause; or can tell by what power the mind and body are thus chained down in irresistible stupefaction; or what benefit the animal receives from this alternate suspension of its active powers…It is somewhere recorded of Alexander, that in the pride of conquests, and intoxication of flattery, he declared that he only perceived himself to be a man by the necessity of sleep…I know not what can tend more to repress all the passions, that disturb the peace of the world, than the consideration that there is no height of happiness or honours, from which man does not eagerly descend to a state of unconscious repose…It is easy in semi-slumbers to collect all the possibilities of happiness, to alter the course of the sun, to bring back the past, and anticipate the future, to unite all the beauties of all seasons, and all the blessings of the climates, to receive and bestow felicity, and forget that misery is the lot of man…Others are afraid to be alone, and amuse themselves by a perpetual succession of companions (Johnson?). In solitude we have our dreams to ourselves, and in company we agree to dream in concert. The end sought in both is forgetfulness of ourselves.

 Idler # 33

 “Journal of a fellow of a college”

 Written by Thomas Warton…Transmitted by a facetious correspondent, and warranted to have been transcribed from the common-place book of the journalist…English universities render their students virtuous, at least by excluding all opportunities of vice; and by teaching them the principles of the Church of England, confirm them in those of true Christianity.

 Idler # 34

 “Punch and conversation compared”

 To illustrate one thing by its resemblance to another, has been always the most popular and efficacious art of instruction…The animal body is composed of many members, united with the direction of one mind: any number of individuals, connected for some common purpose, is therefore called a body. In these imaginary similtudes, the same word is used at once in its primitive and metaphorical sense. Thus health, ascribed to the body natural, is opposed to sickness; but attributed to the body politick stands as contrary to adversity…A philosopher has discovered that the qualities requisite to conversation are very exactly represented by a bowl of punch. Punch is a liquor compounded of spirit and acid juices, sugar and water. The spirit, volatile and fiery, is the proper emblem of vivacity and wit; the acidity of the lemon will very aptly figure pungency of raillery, and acrimony of censure; sugar is the natural representative of luscious adulation and gentle compliance; and water is the hieroglyphick of easy prattle, innocent and tasteless…He will only please long, who, by tempering the acidity of satire with the sugar of civility, and alloying the heat of wit with the frigidity of humble chat, can make the true punch of conversation.

 Idler # 35

 “Auction hunter described and ridiculed”

 A letter from the husband of a buyer of bargains who has a wife who has heard that a good housewife never has any thing to purchase when it is wanted. Whatever she thinks cheap, she holds it the duty of an economist to buy. Advertisements set her on fire…All the married men whom he consults advise to have patience; but some old bachelors are of the opinion that, since she loves sales so well, she should have a sale of her own; and he has, he thinks, resolved to open her hoards, and advertise an auction. 

 Idler # 36

 “The terrific diction ridiculed”

 The great differences that disturb the peace of mankind are not about ends, but means. We have all the same general desires, but how those desires shall be accomplished will for ever be disputed…Every man speaks and writes with intent to be understood; but when once he begins to contrive how his sentiments may be received, not with most ease to his reader, but with most advantage to himself he then transfers his consideration from words to sounds, and as he grows more elegant becomes less intelligible…There is a mode of style by which the most evident truths are so obscured that they can no longer be perceived and the most familiar propositions so disguised that they cannot be known. This style may be called “terrific”, for its chief intention is to terrify and amaze; it may be called repulsive, for its natural effect is to drive away the reader...The liberal illustrator who shews by examples and comparisons what was clearly seen when it was first proposed.

 Idler # 37

 “Useful things easy of attainment”

 Iron is common, and gold is rare. Iron contributes so much to supply the wants of nature, that its use constitutes much of the difference between savage and polished life. Gold can never be hardened into saws or axes…What we really need we can readily obtain…Nature makes us poor only when we want necessaries; but custom gives the name of poverty to the want of superfluities…Even of knowledge, those parts are most easy which are generally necessary…Figures, criticisms, and refinements, are the work of those whose idleness makes weary of themselves.

 Idler # 38

 “Cruelty shown to debtors in prison”

 More than 20,000 are at this time prisoners for debt…A debtor is dragged to prison, pitied for a moment, and then forgotten…All the complicated horrors of a prison, put an end every year to the life of one in four of those that were shut up from the common comforts of human life…Who would have believed till now, that of every English generation, a hundred and fifty thousand perish in our gaols?…The misery of the gaols is not half their evil: they are filled with every corruption which poverty and wickedness can generate between them…It may be hoped, that our lawgivers will at length take away from us this power of starving and depraving one another…Surely, he whose debtors has perished in prison, although he may acquit himself of deliberate murder, must at least have his mind clouded with discontent, when he considers how much another has suffered from him, when he thinks on the wife bewailing her husband, or the children begging the bread which their father would have earned.

 Idler # 39

 “The various uses of the bracelet”

 Ornamental innovations that a bracelet can be used for by married ladies, military, an authoress, and Tom Toy suggests others in a letter.

 Idler # 40

 “The art of advertising exemplified”

 The man who first took advantage of the general curiosity that was excited by a siege or battle, to betray the readers of news in the knowledge of the shop where the best puffs and powder were to be sold, was undoubtedly a man of great sagacity, and profound skill in the nature of man…Whatever is common is despised. Advertisements are now so numerous that they are very negligently perused, and it is, therefore, become necessary to gain attention by magnificence of promise and by eloquence sometimes sublime and sometimes pathetick…Promise, large promise, is the soul of an advertisement…The noblest objects may be so associated as to be made ridiculous…In an advertisement it is allowed to every man to speak well of himself, but I know not why he should assume the privilege of censuring his neighbor...The trade of advertising is now so near perfection that it is not easy to propose any improvement. But as every art ought to be exercised in due subordination to the public good, I cannot but propose it as a moral question to these masters of the public ear, whether they do not sometimes play too wantonly with our passions.

 Idler # 41

 “Serious reflections on the death of a friend”

 Written just after his mother’s death…He states that religion is the only effectual comfort for man when faced with such calamities. Philosophy may infuse stubborness, but religion only can give patience.

 Idler # 42

 “Perdita’s complaint of her father”

 The snares of the bad behavior of parents extends over the paths of life which their children are to tread after them…A letter – My father thought no qualification in the world desireable but as they led up to fortune, and no learning necessary to happiness but such as might most effectually teach me to make the best market of myself. I was unfortunately born a beauty, put in school in the country, transplanted to another town where his ill-judged fondness let me remain no longer than to learn just enough experience to convince me of the sordidness of his views, to give me an idea of perfections which my present situation will never suffer me to reach, and to teach me sufficient morals to dare to despise what is bad, though it be in a father…My father took great pains to show me everywhere. Thus have I continued tricked out for sale and doomed, by parental authority, to a state little better than prostitution. I look on myself as growing cheaper every hour…It is common opinion, he himself must very well know, that vices, like diseases, are often hereditary…He suffers his house to be the seat of drunkenness, riot, and irreligion, who seduces, almost in my sight, the menial servant, converses with the prostitute, and corrupts the wife…For me to fly my father’s house, is to be a beggar.

 Idler # 43

 “Monitions on the flight of time”

 The natural advantages which arise from the position of the earth which we inhabit with respect to the other planets, afford much employment to mathematical speculation; by which it has been discovered, that no other conformation of the system could have given such commodious distributions of head and light, or imparted fertility and pleasure to so great a part of a revolving sphere…The duties required of man are such as human nature does not willingly perform, and such as those are inclined to delay who yet intend some time to fulfill them. It was, therefore, necessary that this universal reluctance should be counteracted, and the drowsiness of hesitation wakened into resolve. To this end all the appearances of nature uniformly conspire. Whatever we see on every side reminds us of the lapse of time and the flux of life…If the parts of time were not variously coloured, we should never discern their departure or succession but should live thoughtless of the past, and careless of the future, without will, and perhaps without power, to compute the periods if life, or to compare the time which is already lost with that which may probably remain…So little do we accustom ourselves to consider the effects of time, that things necessary and certain often surprise us…Let him that desires to see others happy make haste to give, while his gift can be enjoyed, and remember that every moment of delay takes away something from the value of his benefaction.

 Item # 44

 “The use of memory considered”

 Memory is, among the faculties of the human mind, that of which we make the most frequent use, or rather that of which the agency is incessant, or perpetual. Memory is the primary and fundamental power, without which there could be no other intellectual operation. Judgement and ratiocination suppose something already known, and draw their decisions only from experience. Imagination selects ideas from the treasures of remembrance, and produces novelty only by varied combinations. We do not even form conjectures of distant, or anticipation of future events, but by concluding what is possible from what is past…The two offices of memory are collection and distribution…We are willing to learn, but not willing to be taught; we are pained by ignorance, but pained yet more by another’s knowledge…He that has learned enough for his profit or honour, seldom endeavours after further acquisitions…All shrink from recollection, and all wish for an act of forgetfulness. Every revived idea reminds us of a time when something was enjoyed that is now lost, when some hope was not yet blasted, when some purpose had yet not languished into sluggishness or indifference.

 Idler # 45

 “On painting. Portraits defended”

 This essay played a part in the first award given for a topic on English History-Painting…That painters find no encouragement among the English for many other works than portraits, has been imputed to national selfishness…I should grieve to see Reynolds transfer to heroes and to goddesses, to empty splendoror and to airy fiction, that art which is now employed in diffusing friendship, in reviving tenderness, in quickening the affections of the absent, and continuing the presence of the dead…It is to be wished, that the reward now offered for an historical picture may excite an honest emulation and give beginning to an English school…It is not very easy to find an action or event that can be efficaciously represented by a painter…The event painted must be such as excites passion, and different passion in the several actors, or a tumult of contending passions in the chief.

 Idler # 46 

“Molly Quick’s complaint of her mistress” 

Letter concerning a mistress who teases her waiting-maid although giving her many fine clothes…Instructions are given obliquely and allusively.

 Idler # 47

 “Deborah Ginger’s account of city wits”

 Letter from the wife of a city wit…Growing richer and richer in his shop, her husband advanced beyond his native element, became interested in the theater, discusses love, beauty, friendship, virtue, liberty. Writes poetry. Although he entertains criticks he is timorous and awkward with them…Wife wishes the Idler to persuade her husband to return to his old ways and that wit will never make him rich, but that there are places where riches will always make a wit.

 Idler # 48

 “The bustles of idleness described and ridiculed”

 Tom Restless is Tom Tyers, who wrote one of the first biographies of Johnson…There is a kind of idleness, by which we are so easily reduced, as that which dignifies itself by the appearance of business; and by making the loiterer imagine that he has something to do which must not be neglected, keeps him in perpetual agitation, and hurries him rapidly from place to place…To do nothing every man is ashamed; and to do much almost every man is unwilling or afraid…Learning is generally confessed to be desireable, and there are some who fancy themselves always busy in acquiring it…Tom Restless is of the opinion that few books deserve the labor of perusal. He has found another way to wisdom. He goes into a coffee- house, where he creeps so near to men whom he takes to be reasoners, as to hear their discourse, and endeavours to remember something which, when it has been strained through Tom’s head, is near to nothing, that what it once was cannot be discovered. This he carries around from friend to friend through a circle of visits, till, hearing what each says on the question, he becomes able at dinner to say a little himself, meets with some who wonder how so young a man can talk so wisely. 

 Idler # 49

 “Marvel’s journey narrated”

 A minute relation of the casualties of his expedition…He has a story of his travels, which will strike a home-bred citizen with horrour, and has in ten days suffered so often the extremes of terrour and joy, that he is in doubt whether he shall ever again expose either his body or his mind to such danger and fatigue…An exaggerated narrative.

 Idler # 50

 “Marvel’s journey paralleled”

 The character of Mr. Marvel has raised the merriment of some and the contempt of others…Casualties and vicissitudes happen alike in lives uniform and diversified…In the present state of the world men may pass through Shakespeare’s seven stages of life, and meet nothing singular or wonderful. But such is every man’s attention to himself, that what is common and unheeded, when it is only seen, becomes remarkable and peculiar when we happen to feel it…It would be undoubtedly best, if we could see and hear every thing as it is, that nothing might be too anxiously dreaded or too ardently pursued.

 Idler # 51

 “Domestic greatness unattainable”

 It has been commonly remarked, that eminent men are least eminent at home, that bright characters lose much of their splendour at a near view, and many, who fill the world with their fame, excite very little reverence among those that surround them in their domestic privacies…To blame a suspect is easy and natural. When the fact is evident, and the cause doubtful, some accusation is always engendered between idleness and malignity…Vice will indeed always produce contempt and want of reverence. It is not reciprocally true…That awe which great actions or abilities impress will be inevitably diminished by acquaintance, though nothing mean or criminal should be found…Men however distinguished by external accidents or intrinsick qualities, have all the same wants, the same pains, and, as far as the senses are consulted, the same pleasures…Great powers cannot be exerted, but when great exigencies make them necessary.

 Idler # 52

 “Self-Denial necessary”

 The practice of self-denial, or the forebearance of lawful pleasure, has been considered by almost every nation, from the remotest ages, as the highest exaltation of human virtue; and all have agreed to pay respect and veneration to those who abstained from the delights of life, even when they did not censure those who enjoy them…None have failed to confer their esteem on those who prefer intellect to sense…The fictions of imposture, and illusions of fancy, soon give way to time and experience; and nothing keeps its ground but truth…By timely caution and suspicious vigilence those desires may be repressed, to which indulgence would soon give absolute domination…Nothing is more fatal to happiness or virtue, than that confidence which flatters us with an opinion of our own strength, and, by assuring us of the power of retreat, precipitates us into hazard…To deny early and inflexibly, is the only art of checking the importunity of desire, and of preserving quiet and innocence…Upon him who has reduced his senses to obedience, temptation has lost its power.

 Idler # 53

 “Mischiefs of good company”

 I have a wife that keeps good company. You know that word good varies its meaning according to the value set upon different qualities in different places. Good company is the company of those whose birth is high, and whose riches are great; or of those whom the rich and noble admit to familiarity…I was led by my evil genius to a convenient house in a street where many of our nobility reside. My wife'sacquaintance, who came to see her from the quarter we had left, mortified her by inquiries about the new neighbors. She was ashamed to confess that she had no intercourse with them. If she ever met a lady of quality, forced herself into notice. Her advances were generally rejected. Unexpectedly she appeared at the card table of Lady Biddy Porpoise, a lethargick virgin of seventy-six. This was the first step of that elevation to which my wife has since ascended. The changes which this made are very vexatious…What adds to this uneasiness is, that this expense is without use, and this vanity without honour; she foresakes houses where she might be courted, for those where she is only suffered; her equals are daily made her enemies, and her superiors will never be friends...Virtue is often merely local.

Idler # 54 

“Mrs. Savecharge’s complaint” 

Mr. Savecharges stated, before his marriage, that he preferred the exercise of walking on foot…I build my hopes of being soon under the transporting, delightful denomination of a fashionable lady, who enjoys the exalted and much envied felicity of bowling about in her own coach. Solomon Savecharges legally agreed to provide Sukey Modish, his intended wife, with a coach. After complaints about the cost Mr. Savecharges advised; “Madam, I can now tell you, your coach is ready; and since you are so passionately fond of one, I intend you the honour of keeping a pair of horses. You insisted upon having an article of pin-money, and horses are no part of my agreement.”…Now, I would gladly know what enjoyment I, or anybody in the kingdom, can have of a coach without horses?…And, therefore, Sir, I humbly hope you and the learned in the law will be of the opinion, that two certain animals, or quadruped creatures, commonly called or known by the name of horses, ought to be annexed to, and go along with, the coach.

 Idler # 55

 “Author’s mortifications”

 An author was incited to write the natural history of the country. After seven years collecting animals and vegetables he began to write and as each section of the book was completed, read it to friends who were not satisfied with the results. He remained convinced that universal curiosity would call for many editions. Patrons of learning did not contend for the honor of a dedication. Principal booksellers invited to bid, did not respond. The author perceived that there was a combination to defeat his expectations and posed a question to the Idler: “Tell me, dear Idler, what shall I do?

 Idler # 56

 “Virtuosos whimsical”

 Some have hopes and fears, wishes and aversions, which never enter into the thoughts of others, and inquiry is laboriously exerted to gain that which those who possess it are ready to throw away…He that has lived without knowing to what height desire may be raised by vanity, with what rapture baubles are snatched out of the hands of rival collectors, how the eagerness of one raises eagerness in another, and one worthless purchase makes a second necessary, may, by passing a few hours at an auction, learn more than can be shown by many volumes of maxims or essays…He is attracted by rarity, seduced by example, and inflamed by competition…The novice is often surprised to see what minute and unimportant discriminations increase or diminish value…The pride or pleasure of making collections, if it be restrained by prudence and morality, produces a pleasing remission after more laborious studies, furnishes an amusement not wholly unprofitable for that part of life…By fixing the thoughts upon intellectual pleasures, resists the natural encroachments of sensuality, and maintains the mind in her lawful superiority.

 Idler # 57

 “Character of Sophron”

 Prudence is of more frequent use than any other intellectual quality; it is exerted on slight occasions, and called into act by the cursory business of common life…Whatever is universally necessary, has been granted to mankind on easy terms. Prudence, as it is always wanted, is without great difficulty obtained…It produces vigilence rather than elevation, rather prevents loss than procures advantage…The first principal of Sophron is, to run no hazards. He is of the opinion that frugality is a more certain source of riches than industry…He does not love to trust his money out of his sight, for nobody knows what may happen…He has observed that changes (stock) very seldom answer expectation…The expense of planting and fencing is immediate, and the advantage distant…To mind no business but his own…All is not true that is told…Every man means well…A wise man has two ears and one tongue…Little said is soon mended…Every man is honest and hearty…Every woman is a good creature…A man may be too hasty as too slow.

 Idler # 58

 “Expectations of pleasure frustrated”

 Yet it is necessary to hope, though hope should always be deluded: for hope itself is happiness, and its frustrations, however frequent, are less dreadful than its extinction…Pleasure is very seldom found where it is sought…Merriment is always the effect of a sudden impression. The jest which is expected is already destroyed…It is seldom that we find either men or places such as we expect them...Nothing is more hopeless than a scheme of merriment...Our brightest blaze of gladness are commonly kindled by unexpected sparks.

 Idler # 59

 “Books fall into neglect”

 In the common enjoyments of life, we cannot very liberally indulge the present hour, but by anticipating part of the pleasure which might have relieved the tediousness of another day; and any uncommon exertion of strength, or perseverance in labour, is succeeded by a long interval of languor and weariness…Of many writers who filled their age with wonder, and whose names we find celebrated in the books of their contemporaries, the works are now no longer to be seen, or are seen only amidst the lumber of libraries which are seldom visited, where they lie only to show the deceitfulness of hope, and the uncertainty of honour…He that writes upon general principals, or delivers universal truths, may hope to be often read, because his work will be equally useful at all times and in every country; but he cannot expect it to be received with eagerness, or to spread with rapidity, because desire can have no particular stimulation: that which is to be loved long, must be loved with reason rather than with passion…The poem of Hudibras is almost forgotten. The hypocrisy which it detected, and the folly which it ridiculed, have long vanished from public notice…Vainly is wit lavished upon fugitive topicks.

 Idler # 60

 “Minim the critic”

 Tobias Smollet is Dick Minim…Written while Johnson was trying to get Smollet to help get Francis Barber out of the navy…

Criticism is a study by which men grow important and formidable at a very small expense. The power of invention has been conferred by nature upon few, and the labour of learning those sciences which may be obtained, is too great to be willingly endured; but every man can exert some judgement as he has upon the works of others; and he whom nature has made weak, and idleness keeps ignorant, may yet support his vanity by the name of a critick…No genius was ever blasted by the breathe of criticks…Of the great authors Dick Minim began to display the characters, laying down as an universal position, that all had beauties, and defects…He has more vanity than ill-nature, and seldom desires to do much mischief.

 Idler # 61

 “Dick Minim, his ambition of founding a British Academy of criticism is clearly attended by the idea that he will not be the lowest or newest member. He is, after all, already presiding “four nights a week in a Critical Society selected by himself where he is heard without contradiction”…How to become a critick without actually doing any reading…Smollett was in favor of an academy, Johnson against it, never caused a permanent estrangement…Reference in derogatory terms to a Commissioner of Excise. 

Idler # 62

 “Ranger’s account of the vanity of riches”

 An opinion prevails almost universally in the world, that he who has money has everything. Ranger has been a long time rich, and has not found that riches can make him happy…The most striking effect of riches is the splendour of dress…He tried to be a rake but was in great danger of being a drunkard…Then he kept running horses…He built a house but found that to build is to be robbed.

Idler # 63

 “Progress of arts and languages”

 The natural progress of the works of men is from rudeness to convenience, from convenience to elegance, and from elegance to nicety…The first labour is enforced by necessity…The mind, set free from the importunities of natural want, gains leisure to go in search of superfluous gratifications…Language proceeds, like everything else, through improvement to degeneracy…The studious and ambitious contend not only who shall think best, but who shall tell their thoughts in the most pleasing manner. Then begin the arts of poetry and rhetorick, the regulation of figures, the selection of words, the modulation of periods, the graces of transition, the complication of clauses and all the delicacies of style and subtitles of composition…The ignorant essays of imperfect diction pass away with the savage generation that uttered them…Every man now endeavours to excel others in accuracy, or outshine them in splendour of style, and the danger is, lest care should too soon pass to affectation. 

Idler # 64

 “Ranger’s complaint concluded”

 Trying the different schemes of pleasure, Ranger found nothing in which he could finally acquiesce…He decided to become a fine gentleman, frequented the polite coffee-houses, grew acquainted with all the men of humour, and gained the right of bowing familiarly to half the nobility. In this new scene his great labour was to learn to laugh, one of the arts of adulation…He appeared at court on all publick days; betted at gaming tables; and played all the routs of eminence. Went every night to the opera, took a fiddler under his protection, became the head of a musical faction, had concerts in his house…Lost all fame of patronage when the fiddler was arrested and he refused to bail him out…Spent a winter considering having his portrait painted…Developed an ardour for all natural curiosities, went from auction to auction. Became the envy of others and became hated…He observed that popularity was most easily gained by an open table and therefore, hired a French cook and filled his cellar with wines of pompous appellations…His guests criticised their entertainment, cook thought himself necessary, could not rid himself of flatterers or break fro slavery, but by shutting up his house, and declaring his resolution to live in lodgings.

 Idler # 65

 “Fate of posthumous works”

 There are some works which the authours must consign unpublished to posterity, however uncertain be the event, however hopeless be the trust. He that writes the history of his own times, if he adheres steadily to truth, will write that which his own time will not easily endure. He must be content to reposite his book, till all private passions shall cease, and love and hatred give way to curiosity…But many leave the labours of half their life to their executors and to chance, because they will not send them abroad unfinished, and are unable to finish them having prescribed to themselves such a degree of exactness as human diligence can scarcely attain…Let it always be remembered that life is short, that knowledge is endless, and that many doubts deserve not to be cleared. Let those whom nature and study have qualified to teach mankind, tell us what they have learned while they are yet able to tell it, and trust their reputation only to themselves. 

Idler # 66

 “Loss of ancient writings”

 Laments the loss of ancient texts and then expresses the view that we have enough…If the works of imagination had been less diminished, it is likely that all future times might have been supplied with inexhaustible amusement by the fictions of antiquity…Nothing would have been necessary to moral wisdom but to have studied these great masters, whose knowledge would have guided doubt, and whose authority would have silenced cavils…Such is the conspiracy of human nature against contemporary merit, that if, we had inherited from antiquity enough to afford employment for the laborious, and amusement for the idle, I know not what room would have been left for modern genius or modern industry; almost every subject would have been pre-occupied, and every style would have been fixed by a precedent from which few would have ventured to depart…We see how little the united experience of mankind hath been able to add to the heroick characters displayed by Homer. 

Idler # 67

 “Scholar’s journal”

 Written by Bennet Langton…Some men consider dissipation as the great enemy of the intellect; and maintain, that in proportion as the student keeps himself within the bounds of a settled plan, he will more certainly advance in science…Acquisition of knowledge, like blazes of genius, are often fortuitous. Those who had proposed to themselves a methodical course of reading, light by accident on a new book, which seizes their thoughts and kindles their curiosity, and opens an unexpected prospect to which the way which they had prescribed to themselves would never have conducted them…A journal of three days employment showing how studies were neglected and how little he adhered to his plan…It is likely that he will, with much more ease and expectation, attain that which a warm inclination stimulates him to pursue, than that at which a prescribed law compels him to toil.

 Idler # 68

 “History of translation”

 Among the studies which have exercised the ingenious and the learned for more than three centuries, none has been more diligently or more successfully cultivated than the art of translation; by which the impediments which bar the way to science, are, in some measure, removed and the multiplicity of languages become less incommodious…Translation may firstly be claimed by moderns as their own…Every man, who in Rome aspired to the praise of literature, thought it necessary to learn Greek…The Arabs were the first nation who felt the ardour of translation: when they had subdued the eastern provinces of the Greek empire, they found their captives wiser than themselves, and made haste to relieve their wants by imparted knowledge. They made haste to lay hold on medicine and philosophy, and turned their chief authors into Arabick…The study of ancient literature was interrupted in Europe by the irruption of the Northern nations…Learning began to flourish in the calm of peace…At last, by a concurrence of many causes, the European world was roused from its lethargy; the arts which had been long obscurely studied in the gloom of monasteries became the general favourites of mankind; every nation vied with its neighbor for the prize of learning.

 Idler # 69

 “History of translation”

 Philosophy of translated literature, etc…Chaucer is generally considered as the father of our poetry…Claxton taught us typography. Holland filled the nation with literal translation…In the general emulation of wit and genius which the festivity of the Restoration produced, the poets shook off their constraint, and considered translation as no longer confined to servile closeness. Translation was improved more by accident than conviction…Dryden saw very early that closeness best preserved an author’s sense, and that freedom best exhibited his spirit.

 Idler # 70

 “Hard words defended”

 He that thinks with more extent than another, will want words of larger meaning…If an author be supposed to involve his thought in voluntary obscurity, and to obstruct, by unnecessary difficulties, a mind eager in pursuit of truth; if he writes not to make others learned, but to boast the learning which he possesses himself, and wishes to be admired rather than understood, he counter-acts the first end of writing, and justly suffers the utmost severity of censure, or the most afflictive severity of neglect…Every author does not write for every reader…Words are hard only to those who do not understand them…Difference in thought will produce difference of language…He that reads and grows no wiser, seldom suspects his own defficiency; but complains of hard words and obscure sentences, and asks why books are written that cannot be understood?…They that content themselves with general ideas may rest in general terms…”Every man,” says Swift, “is more able to explain the subject of an art than its professors; a farmer will tell you, in two words, that he has broken his leg, but a surgeon, after a long discourse, shall leave you as ignorant as you were before.” 

Idler # 71

 “Dick Swifter’s rural excursion”

 Dick Shifter, a great reader of pastorals: “tho his furthest excursions have been to Greenwich on one side, and Chelsea on the other, he has talked for several years, with great pomp of language and elevation of sentiments, about a state too high for contempt and too low for envy, about homely quiet and blameless simplicity, pastoral delights and rural innocence.”…Dick tries to put his theories into practise and is soon disillusioned.

 Idler # 72

 “Regulation of memory”

 Men complain of nothing more frequently than of deficient memory; and indeed every one finds that many of the ideas which he desired to retain have slipped irretrievably away…No act of memory, however its effects have been boasted or admired, has been ever adopted into general use, nor have those who possessed it appear to excel others in readiness of recollection or multiplicity of attainments…It may be doubted whether we should be more benefited by the art of memory or the art of forgetfulness…All useless misery is certainly folly, and he that feels evils before they come may be deservedly censured; yet surely to dread the future is more reasonable that to lament the past…The business of life is to go forwards; he who sees evil in prospect meets it in his way…That which is feared may sometimes be avoided…It would add much to human happiness, if an art could be taught of forgetting all of which the remembrance is at once useless and afflictive…To forget or to remember at pleasure, are equally beyond the power of man…Employment is the great instrument of intellectual dominion…He to whom the present offers nothing will often be looking backward on the past.

 Idler # 73

 “Tranquil’s use of riches”

This essay concerning labor and rest was Johnson's favorite...No sooner do we sit down to enjoy our acquisitions than we find them insufficient to fill up the vacuities of life…Every man would be rich if a wish could obtain riches…We fill our houses with useless ornaments, only to show that we can buy them…Of riches, as of every thing else, the hope is more than the enjoyment…The ministers of luxery have marked Tom Tranquel out as one at whose expense they may exercise their arts…A thousand hands are busy at his expense, without adding to his pleasure.

 Idler # 74

 “Memory rarely deficient” 

 The acquisition of memory to the acquisition of knowledge, is inevitably felt and universally allowed, so that scarcely any other of the mental faculties are commonly considered as necessary to a student: he that admires the proficiency of another, always attributes it to the happiness of his memory; and he that laments his own defects, concludes with a wish that his memory was better…Few have reason to complain of nature as unkindly sparing of the gifts of memory…We consider ourselves as defective in memory, either because we remember less than we desire, or less than we suppose others to remember…He that remembers most, remembers little compared with what he forgets…He that in the distribution of good, has an equal share with common men, may justly be contented…What is read twice is commonly better remembered than what is transcribed…The true art of memory is the art of attention…What is read with delight is commonly retained, because pleasure always secures attention.  

 Idler # 75

 “Geladdin of Bassora”

This is a description of Johnson's start in life...His virtues and abilities raised him to distinction. He departed to Tauris anticipating greater honors and riches. He was unnoticed and returned to Bassora wearied and disgusted. But he who had been neglected at Tauris, was not much regarded at Bassora; he was considered a fugitive, who returned only because he could live in no other place; his companions found that they had formerly overrated his abilities, and he lived long without notice of esteem.

 Idler # 76

 “False criticisms on painting”

 Written by Sir Joshua Reynolds…Criticks unable to comprehend the whole, judge only by parts, and from thence determine the merit of extensive works…Another kind of critick still worse, judges by narrow rules, and those too often false…To those who are resolved to be criticks in spite of nature, and, at the same time, have no great disposition to much reading and study, I would recommend them to assume the character of connoisseur. The remembrance of a few names of painters, with their general characters, with a few rules of the academy, will go a great way towards making a very notable connoisseur…Discussion of a friends observations...I would not be thought to infer, from any thing that has been said, that rules are absolutely unnecessary; but to censure scrupulosity, a servile attention to minute exactness, which is sometimes inconsistent with higher excellency, and is lost in a blaze of expanded genius.

 Idler # 77

 “Easy Writing”

 Easy poetry is that in which natural thoughts are expressed without violence to the language. Language suffers violence by harsh or by daring figures, by transposition, by unusual acceptations of words, and by any license, which would be avoided by a writer of prose. When any artifice appears in construction of the verse, that verse is no longer easy…Examples follow…It is the prerogative of easy poetry to be understood as long as the language lasts…To require from any author many pieces of easy poetry, would be indeed to oppress him with too hard a task…I doubt whether any of our authors have yet been able, for twenty lines together, nicely to observe the true definition of easy poetry.

 Idler # 78

 “Steady, Snug, Startle, Solid and Misty”

 Passed the summer at a mineral spring and admitted to a select set supposed to be distinguished by superiority of intellects, who always passed the evening together…Tom Steady was a vehement assertor of uncontroverted truth; and by keeping himself out of the reach of contradiction had acquired all the confidence which the consciousness of irresistible abilities could have given…Dick Snug is a man of sly remark and pithy sententiousness; he never merges himself in the stream of conversation, but lies to catch his companions in the eddy; he is often successful in breaking narratives and confounding eloquence…Will Startle is a man of exquisite sensibility, whose delicacy of frame and quickness of discernment subject him to impressions from the slightest causes; and who, therefore, passes his life between rapture and horrour, in quiverings of delight, or convulsions of disgust…Jack Solid is a man of much reading, who utters nothing but quotations; but having been too confident of his memory, he has for some time neglected his books, and his stock grows every day more scanty…Dick Misty is a man of deep research, and forcible penetration. Others are content with superficial appearances; but Dick holds, that there is no effect without a cause, and vows himself upon his power of explaining the different and displaying the abstruse.

 Idler # 79

 “Grand style of painting”

 Written by Sir Joshua Reynolds…Amongst the painters, and the writers on painting, there is one maxim universally admitted and continually inculcated. Imitate nature is the inviolable rule; but I know none who have explained in what manner this rule is to be understood; the consequence of which is, that every one takes it in the most obvious sense, that objects are represented naturally, that they seem real. If the excellancy of a painter consisted only in this kind of imitation, painting must lose its rank, this imitation being merely mechanical…The painter of genius cannot stoop to drudgery, in which the understanding has no part…There may, perhaps, be too great an indulgence, as well as too great a restraint of imagination…The sublimest style, that of Michael Angelo. 

Idler # 80

 “Ladies journey to London”

 That every day has its pains and sorrows is universally experienced, and almost universally confessed…Happiness is nothing, if it is not known, and very little if it is not envied…Before the day of departure a week is always appropriate to the payment and reception of ceremonial visits, at which nothing can be mentioned but the delights of London…Her hope of giving pain is seldom disappointed; the affected indifference of one, the faint congratulations of another, the wishes of some openly confessed, and the silent dejection of the rest, all exalt her opinion of her own superiority…They who have already enjoyed the crowds and noise of the great city, know that their desire to return is little more that the restlessness of a vacant mind, and a wish rather to leave the country than to see the town…The fair adventurer believes, herself of passing into another world, and imagines London as an elysian region, where every hour has its proper pleasure. Her aunt and mother amuse themselves with telling her of dangers to be dreaded, and cautions to be observed…The uniform necessities of human nature produce, in a great measure, uniformity of life, and for part of the day make one place like another; to dress and undress, to eat and to sleep, are the same in London as in the country…She that fancied nothing but a succession of pleasures, will find herself engaged without design in numberless competitions. 

Idler # 81

 “Indian’s speech to his countrymen"

 Perhaps the bitterest denunciation ever written of the oppression of natural Americans and imported African slaves...New race of men entered our country from the great ocean. They enclosed themselves in habitations of stone, which our ancestors could neither enter by violence or destroy by fire…Those invaders ranged over the continent slaughtering, in their rage, those that resisted, and those that submitted, in their mirth…Let us endeavour, to learn their discipline, and to forge their weapons; and when they shall be weakened with mutual slaughter, let us rush down upon them, force their remains to take shelter in their ships, and reign once more  in our native country.

 Idler # 82

 “The true idea of beauty”

 Written by Sir Joshua Reynolds…To distinguish beauty implies the having seen many individuals of that species. If it is asked, how is more skill acquired by the observation of greater numbers? I answer that, in consequence of having seen many, the power is acquired, even without seeking after it, of distinguishing between accidental blemishes and excrescances which are continually varying the surface of Nature’s works, and the invariable general form which Nature most frequently produces, and always seems to intend in her productions…Though habit and custom cannot be said to be the cause of beauty, it is certainly the cause of our liking it…We indeed, say, that the form and colour of the European is preferable to that of the Aethopian; but I know of no reason we have for it, but that we are more used to it…Novelty is said to be one of the causes of beauty; but because it is uncommon, is it, therefore, beautiful?…I have considered the word beauty as being properly applied to form alone . When we apply the word beauty we do not mean always by it a more beautiful form, but something valuable on account of its rarity, usefulness, color, or any other property…If it has been proved, that the painter, by attending to the invariable and general ideas of nature, produces beauty, he must, by regarding minute particulars and accidental discriminations, deviate from the universal rule, and pollute his canvas with deformity.

 Idler # 83

 “Scruple, Wormwood, Sturdy, and Gentle”

 An assembly had men important in their own eyes, though less distinguished by the public…One of the greatest men of the society was Sim Scruple, who lives in continual equipoise of doubt, and is a constant enemy to confidence and dogmatism. Sim’s favourite topick of conversation is the narrowness of the human mind, the fallaciousness of our senses, the prevalence of early prejudice, and the uncertainty of appearances. He has many doubts about death and is sometimes inclined to believe that a dead man may feel though he cannot stir. He has hinted that man might have been a quadruped…Dick Wormwood, whose sole delight is to find every thing wrong. He never enters a room but he shows that the door and chimney are ill-placed. Always an enemy to present fashion, holds that all the beauty and virtue of women will soon be destroyed by the use of tea…Bob Sturdy considers it as a point of honour to say again what he has once said, and wonders how any man, that has been known to alter his opinion, can look his neighbors in the face. He is the most formidable disputant, closing a debate, “All this is very judicious: You may talk, Sir, as you please; but I will still say what I said at first.”…Phil Gentle is an enemy to the rudeness of contradiction and the turbulence of debate. Phil has no notions of his own, and willingly catches from the last speaker such as he shall drop.  

Idler # 84

“Biography, how best performed”

Knowledge which he cannot apply will make no man wise…Posthumous autobiography may be presumed to tell the truth since falsehood cannot appease the mind and fame will not be heard beneath the tomb…He that writes the life of another is either his friend or his enemy and wishes either to exalt his praise or aggravate his infamy…He that speaks of himself has no motive to falsehood or partiality except self-love, by which all have so often been betrayed, that all are on the watch for its artifices…Biography is, of various kinds of narrative writing, that which is most eagerly read, and most easily applied to the purposes of life…The writer of his own life, has, at least, the first qualification of an historian, the knowledge of the truth; and though it may be plausibly objected that his temptations to disguise it are equal to his opportunities of knowing it, yet I cannot but think that impartiality may be expected with equal confidence from him that relates the passage of his own life, as from him that delivers the transactions of another...No man is a hero to his valet...From the time of life when fancy begins to be over-ruled by reason and corrected by experience, the most artful tale raises little curiosity when it is known to be false...The stratagems of war, and the intrigues of courts, are read by far the greater part of mankind with the same indifference as the adventures of fabled heroes, or the revolutions of a fairy region...The examples and events of history press, indeed, upon the mind with the weight of truth. They are oftener employed for show than use, and rather diversify conversation than regulate life.

Idler # 85

“Books multiplied by useless compilations”

Discusses the lamentable multiplication of books and then Johnson reverses his arguments…The anthologies and compilations poured lately from the press have been seldom made at any great expense of time or inquiry, and therefore only serve to distract choice without supplying any real want. While people are busy choosing they must neglect doing something more useful…The multitude of books is a multitude of evils. A bulky writer and a swarm of pamphleteers who stole each an hour are equal wasters of human life and like a beast of prey or a flight of locusts…When the treasures of ancient knowledge lie unexamined , and original authors are neglected and forgotten, compilers and plagiaries are encouraged, who give us again what we had before, and grow great by setting before us what our own sloth had hidden from our view…To exact of every man who writes, that he should say something new, would be to reduce authors to a small number: to oblige the most fertile genius to say only what is new would be to contract his volumes to a few pages.

Idler # 86

Miss Heartless’ want of a lodging”

Pride in residence is misplaced. Cannot find a suitable dwelling due to a variety of reasons and so remains in second floor apartments.

Idler # 87

“Amazonian bravery revived”

Every novelty appears more wonderful as it is more remote from anything with which experience or testimony has hitherto acquainted us; and, if it passes further beyond the notions that we have been accustomed to form, it becomes at last incredible…Johnson warns against skepticism in believing travelers and contradicts his Voyage to Abyssinia…No class of English women may make good Amazons and so their example only shows that men and women live best together…We seldom consider that human knowledge is very narrow, that national manners are formed by chance…To refuse credit confers for a moment an appearance of superiority…The old maids seem nearest to independence, and most likely to be animated by revenge against masculine authority; they often speak of men with acrimonious vehemence, but it is seldom found that they have any settled hatred against them, and it is yet more rarely observed that they have any kindness for each other.

Idler # 88

“What have ye done?”

Improvement is naturally slow…The truth is, that little has been done compared with what fame had been suffered to promise; and the question could only be answered by general apologies and by new hopes, which, when they were frustrated, gave a new occasion to the same vexatious inquiry…He that in the latter part of his life too strictly inquires what he has done, can very seldom receive from his own heart such an account as will give him satisfaction…We do not so often disappoint others as ourselves…Man is seldom willing to let fall the opinion of his own dignity, or to believe that he does little only because every individual is a very little being. He is better content to want diligence than power, and sooner confesses the depravity of his will than the imbecility of his nature…He that has done one good thing may be contented with his performance.

Idler # 89

“Physical evil – moral good”

Almost all the moral good, which is left among us, is the apparent effect of physical evil…Of what virtue there is, misery produces the greater part. Misery does not make all virtuous experience…Sobriety, or temperance is the forebearance of pleasure; and if pleasure was not followed by pain who would forebear it? We are every hour those in whom the desire of present indulgence overpowers all sense of the past and all foresight of future misery…Righteousness, or the system of social duty, may be subdivided into justice and charity…Justice was impressed upon mankind only by the inconveniences which injustice had produced…Charity could have no place if there were no want…Evil is not only the occasional, but the efficient cause of charity; we are incited to the relief of misery by the consciousness that we have the same nature with the sufferer, that we are in danger of the same distresses, and may sometimes implore the same assistance…Godliness or piety, is the elevation of the mind towards the Supreme Being, and extension of thoughts to another life…None would fix their attitudes upon the future, but that they are discontented with the present.

Idler # 90

“Rhetorical action considered”

It is a complaint which has been made from time to time, and which seems to have lately become more frequent, that English oratory, however forcible in argument, or elegant in expression, is deficient and inefficacious, because our speakers want the grace and energy of action…I should very zealously recommend the study of this art; but having never seen any action by which language was much assisted, I have been hitherto inclined to doubt whether my countrymen are not blamed too hastily for their calm and motionless utterance…Gestures are unnecessary in theology although not to be deterred if persuasive in the conversion of sinners. In this regard propriety and elegance are less than nothing.

Idler # 91

“Sufficiency of the English language”

It is common to overlook what is near, by keeping the eye fixed on something remote. In the same manner present opportunities are neglected, and attainable good slighted, by minds busied in extensive ranges, and intent upon future advantages…The difficulty of obtaining knowledge is universally confessed…Every man is more speedily instructed by his own language, than by any other; before we search the rest of the world for teachers, let us try whether we may not spare our trouble by finding them at home…The riches of the English language are much greater than they are commonly supposed. Many useful and valuable books lie buried in shops and libraries, unknown and unexamined, unless some lucky compiler opens them by chance, and finds an easy spoil of wit and learning…I am far from intending to insinuate that other languages are not necessary to him who aspires to eminence, and whose life is devoted to study…There is, I think, not one of the liberal arts which may not be competently learned in the English language…Copiously instructive is the English language and thus needless is all recourse to foreign writers.

Idler # 92

“Nature of cunning”

Cunning differs from wisdom. It is negative…Whatever is useful or honourable will be desired by many who never can obtain it; and that which cannot be obtained when it is desired, artifice or folly will be diligent to counterfeit…Every man wishes to be wise, and they who cannot be wise are almost always cunning…Tom Double has found a habit of eluding the most harmless questions. What he has no inclination to answer, he pretends sometimes not to hear, and endeavours to divert the inquirers attention by some other subject…Will Puzzle values himself upon a long reach. He forsees everything before it will happen, though he never relates his prognostications till the event is passed. He supposes very truly that much may be known which he knows not, and, therefore, pretends to know much of which he and all mankind are equally ignorant…With Ned Snuggle all is a secret. He believes himself watched by observation and malignity on every side, and rejoices in the dexterity by which he escapes snares that were never laid. Ned holds that a man is never deceived if he never trusts. He price of what he buys or sells is always concealed…The whole power of cunning is privative; to say nothing and to do nothing, is the utmost of its reach. Yet men thus narrow by nature, and mean by art, are sometimes able to rise by the miscarriage of bravery and the openness of integrity; and by watching failures and snatching opportunities.

Idler # 93

“Sam Softly’s history”

Written by Thomas Warton…Misapplied genius most commonly proven ridiculous…Had Sam, as Nature intended, contentedly continued in the calmer and less conspicuous pursuits of sugar-baking, he might have been a respectable and useful character. At present he dissipates his life in a specious idleness, which neither improves himself nor his friends. Those talents, which might have benefited society, he exposes to contempt by false pretensions. He affects pleasures which he cannot enjoy, and is acquainted only with those subjects on which he has no right to talk, and which it is no merit to understand.

Idler # 94

“Obstruction of learning”

The continual multiplication of books not only distracts choice but disappoints inquiry…Most literature is repetitive, does not teach and is the thief of time…It is common to find young men ardent and diligent in the pursuit of knowledge; but the progress of life very often produces laxity and indifference…This abatement of the vigour of curiosity is sometimes imputed to the insufficiency of learning…Of learning, as of virtue, it may be affirmed, that it is at once honoured and neglected…So many hindrances may obstruct the acquisition of knowledge, that there is little reason for wonderment that it is in a few hands…It is the great excellance of learning, that it borrows very little from time or place…What may be done at all times with equal propriety, is deferred from day to day, till the mind is gradually reconciled to the omission, and the attention is turned to other objects. Thus habitual idleness gains too much power to be conquored.

Idler # 95

“Tim Wainscot’s son a fine gentleman”

Do not try to be what you are not…A letter by which Tim Wainscot, a trader who owes his fortune to frugality, unburdens his heart…His son, sullen, untrustworthy, and useless in the shop, openly declares his resolution to be a gentleman…Mr. Idler, tell him what must at last become a fop, whom pride will not suffer to be a trader, and whom long habits in a shop forbid to be a gentleman.

Idler # 96

“Hacho of Lapland”

Written by Thomas Warton…Yielding to allurement and seduction results in inevitable downfall…Hacho of the intrepid spirit, strong, prudent, wise, temperate, severe in manner, contemptuous of luxury. He first became absorbed in eating honey found in the forest and then in eating luscious fruits, drinking fine wines. His simplicity of life was changed, perfumed his apartments, became immersed in pleasure and in repose. When he lost a final battle uttered, “The vicious man should date his destruction from the first temptation. How justly do I fall a sacrifice to sloth and luxury, in the place where I first yielded to those allurements, which seduced me to deviate from temperance and innocence. The honey which I tasted in the forest, and not the hand of the King of Norway, conquors Hacho.

Idler # 97

“Narratives of travelers considered”

The great object of remark is human life. He is only a useful traveler who brings home something which benefits, supplies some want, mitigates some evil, which may enable his readers to compare their condition with that of others. To improve it whenever it is worse, and whenever it is better to enjoy it…Few books disappoint their readers more than narratives of travelers…Every writer of travels should consider, that, like all other authors, he undertakes either to instruct or please, or mingle pleasure with instruction...Every mind that has leisure or power to extend its views, must be desirous of knowing in what proportion Providence has distributed the blessings of nature or the advantages of art, among the several nations of the earth.

Idler # 98

“Sophia Heedful”

Being heedful for promises is no guarantee of benefits. Sophia lived several years with an uncle and had responsibility for the management of the family. She declined an offer of marriage since her uncle refused to consent to the alliance. The uncle, who possessed a plentiful fortune, frequently hinted, that at his death provision for Sophia’s comfort and happiness would be made.  The uncle died intestate; by which means his whole fortune devolved to a nearer relation, the heir at law. This excluded her from all hopes of living in the manner with which she had so long flattered herself. She is doubtful what method she shall take to procure a decent maintenance.

Idler # 99

“Ortogrul of Basra”

Ortogrul entered the palace of the chief visier and was envious of the golden tapestry, silken carpets, dishes of luxury, fragrances, obedience of others and although he was wise felt his poverty…He shut himself up in his chamber for six months, to deliberate how he should grow rich…In a dream his father showed him a torrent tumbling down the rocks and a valley beyond the hills. His father asked if he wished for sudden affluence that may pour like the mountain torrent or the slow and graded increase, Ortogrul preferred to be quickly rich. In the dream he saw the torrent dry up. He waked, and determined to grow rich by silent profit and persevering industry…He engaged in merchandise and in twenty years had riches equal to the visier. He was courteous and liberal; he gave all that approached him hopes of pleasing him, and all who should please him hopes of being rewarded. Every art of praise was tried, and every source of adulatory fiction was exhausted. He heard his flatterers without delight, because he found himself unable to believe them. His own heart told him its frailties, his own understanding reproached him with his faults…Let no man labor to be rich who is too wise to be flattered.

Idler # 100

“The good sort of woman”

A plan to select a wife with necessary virtues does not ensure happiness…Tim Warner married Miss Gentle and perceived that he was not formed to be delighted by a good sort of woman…Her great principals, that orders of a family must not be broken…Every hour of the day has its employment inviolably appropriated, she allows herself to sit half an hour after breakfast, and an hour after dinner; while Tim is talking or reading to her, she keeps her eye on her watch…Her conversation is habitually cautious. All whom she mentions are honest men and agreeable women…She once called Tim to supper where he was watching an eclipse and summoned him at another time to bed when he was going to give directions at a fire…She smiles not by sensation but by practice…She is an enemy to nothing but ill-nature and pride…There are none whom she openly hates…Her house is elegant, and her table dainty, though she has little taste for elegance, and is wholly free from vicious luxury…This Mr. Idler, I have found, by long experience, to be the character of a good sort of woman, which I have sent you for the information of those by whom a good sort of woman and a good woman, may happen to be used as equivalent terms, and who may suffer by the mistake, like your humble servant.

Idler # 101

“Omar’s plan of life”

A plan as to how to spend ones life doesn’t turn out at all as planned…With an insatiable thirst for knowledge, I trifled away the years of improvement; with a restless desire of seeing different countries, I have always resided in the same city; with the highest expectation of connubial felicity, I have lived unmarried; and with unalterable resolutions of contemplative retirement, I am going to die within the walls of Bagdat...An end must in time be put to everything great as to everything little.

Idler # 102

“Authors inattentive to themselves”

It  very seldom happens to a man that his business is his pleasure. What is done from necessity is so often to be done when against the present inclination, and so often fills the mind with anxiety, that an habitual dislike steals upon us, and we shrink involuntarily from the remembrance of our task... Almost everyone wishes to quit his employment; he does not like another state, but is disgusted with his own. This is why few authors write their own lives…The gradations of a hero’s life are from battle to battle, and an author’s from book to book.

Idler # 103

“Horrour of the last”

The horrour of the last paper…Value is more frequently raised by scarcity than by use. We seldom learn the true want of what we have till it is discovered that we can have no more…The whole of life is but keeping away the thoughts of it (death)…As more is past there is less remaining…It is only by finding life changeable that we are reminded of its shortness…An everlasting futurity shall be determined by the past...Speculation as to what his readers will say or think when they are informed that they have now his last paper in their hands...It is very happily and kindly provided, that in every life there are certain pauses and interruptions, points of time where one course of action ends and another begins; and by the vicissitude of fortune, or alteration of employment, by chance of place, or loss of friendship, we are forced to say of something, this is the last...Secret horrour of the last is inseparable from a thinking being whose life is limited, and to whom death is dreadful...Succession is not perceived but by variation; he that lives today as he lived yesterday, and expects that, as the present day is, such will be the morrow, easily conceives time running in a circle and returning to itself.

Idler # 104

“Vultures”

This was the original of Idler # 22, but on the republication of the work in volumes, Dr. Johnson substituted what now stands under that head…A bitter attack against the imprisonment of debtors…Nature has infused into man a strong ferocity never observed in any other being that feeds upon the earth. Man is the only beast who kills that which he does not devour.

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