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The Hairiest Pussy
A young man was in the backyard fooling around with his
new girlfriend on a very dark night.
After a short time, he offered to eat her pussy....
and she gladly dropped her knickers.
About 20 minutes later, he looked up at her with his
glazed face and said, "I really like you a lot, but
you have the hairiest pussy I've ever eaten!"
"I'm not surprised that you feel that way," she said.
"You've been eating the lawn for the last five minutes!"
Pinocchio's Splinter Solution
One day, Pinocchio and his girlfriend were in bed doing what girls and
wooden boys do. As they were cuddling later, Pinocchio could tell that
something was bothering his girlfriend. So, he asked her, "What's the
matter, baby?"
Pinocchio's girlfriend gave a big sigh and replied, "You're probably
the best guy I've ever met, but every time we make love you give me
splinters."
This remark bothered Pinocchio a great deal, so the next day he went
to seek some advice form his creator, Gepetto. When Pinocchio arrived,
Gepetto could tell something was bothering Pinocchio, and asked him
what was the matter. Pinocchio revealed his dilemma to Gepetto.
Gepetto searched up and down for a solution. Eventually, he suggested
that sandpaper might be able to "smooth" out Pinocchio's relationship
with his girlfriend. Pinocchio graciously thanked Gepetto and went on
his way.
Gepetto had not heard from Pinocchio for a while and therefore assumed
that the sandpaper had solved all of Pinocchio's problems. A couple
weeks later, Gepetto was in town to have some blades sharpened at the
hardware store when he ran into Pinocchio. When he saw Pinocchio
buying all the packs of sandpaper the store had in stock, Gepetto
remarked, "So, Pinocchio, things must be going pretty damn good with
the girls, eh?" and Pinocchio replied:
"Girls, who needs girls?!?!?!?!?!?!?"
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