::Yadda Yadda Yadda::

August 11th 2003

Two years ago today was probably one of the worst days of my life. It was the day my best friend’s father passed away from cancer. Sometimes it seems like yesterday and other times it feels like it was ten years ago.

I was actually supposed to be away for the weekend and my plane was delayed the night before and ultimately brought back to the terminal after sitting on the runway for 4 hours during severe storms. I decided not to bother trying a later flight. I called my best friend and she picked me up from the commuter ferry that I used to take home (when I still lived with my parents)

I was meant to be home that weekend.

I remember taking a little while before I was able to go into the room to see him. He was the second close family friend within three years to have terminal cancer and I still wasn’t prepared emotionally for seeing him. His condition had deteriorated so badly within the span of two days. That Thursday I was at my best friends house and we told her dad that I was going to North Carolina for the weekend and that I would be home on Monday. He just looked at me and nodded. Something about the look he gave me almost made me cancel my trip right then and there. But I decided that I was going to go because I didn’t think we’d lose him so soon. Thank God for those storms.

My parents weren’t home that weekend. My brother graduated from the University of Florida that same day which was ironic because he was close with my best friend’s dad. To this day my brother says that 8/11/01 was the best and worst day of his life. I told my best friend’s dad while he was on his deathbed that my parents were down in Florida and that my brother had graduated. He couldn’t speak, but he grunted to let me know that he knew what I was saying.

I felt bad for my parents. They were also close to Pete and they had no idea that he would go so soon.

In fact the day after he passed away when my mom finally called their house she was wailing on the other line (I had left 6 messages on her cell phone, which are probably still on it, but she didn’t know how to retrieve them. Duh. I called my grandma and told her to tell my parents what had happened if they got in touch with her)

Actually it was kind of funny. My best friend’s brother picked up the phone and was calmly telling someone about when Pete had died and other stuff and then he says to me, “It’s your mom.” And I could hear her crying through the receiver from 4 feet away. In a truly bizarre role reversal I had to calm her down. By that point I had cried for 18 hours straight so I was all cried out. I felt so bad for her. So I told them when the funeral was and they were able to make it. My brother didn’t come up. He couldn’t. My brother is very sensitive. It’s so cute sometimes.

My best friend was so strong that day. I watched in awe as she calmed her brother down, sat with her dad as he was slowly dying and sang to him. That was tough. We were all blubbering while she was singing to him but not Racquel. She was unbelievable. To this day I am in awe of her ability to be so calm during the worst day of her life.

I put on a Met hat in Pete’s honor and she whispered in his ear and told him and he literally tried to look at me even though he was so out of it. I said, “Pete you’re the only person I would ever do this for.”

That’s the one memory of that day that makes me smile.

During his last days before he took the turn for the worst he started wearing Yankee hats because he was so mad at the Mets and how badly they were playing. Heh. He would sit in bed and bitch about the Mets and how bad they were.

I miss Pete. I miss always seeing him when I went to Racquel’s house. Even two years later I find myself automatically looking into her parent’s room because he was always there. I miss the nights where Racquel and I would be in her living room singing at the top of lungs and he’d be standing there listening to us. I miss hearing him play his bongo drums. I miss the smell of motor oil (he was a mechanic). I miss hearing his laugh. He had a great laugh. I miss trying to figure out what he was saying (he tended to mumble) I miss my second daddy.

Stace

August 8th 2003

I think I overdid it at the gym today.

I went to the gym 4 out of 5 days this workweek and I already see a difference. Aw. Hell. Yeah. I’m going to look hot for my cousin’s wedding.

Man! I hate when I think too much about things...it gives me a headache.

EVERYBODY SUCKS!!!

I can’t write. My head is throbbing.

Oh new pet peeve: People who don’t say the “ed” at the end of a word to make it past tense.

Stace

August 3rd 2003

Gigli bombed, Gigli bombed sweet lord almighty Gigli bombed!!! WOO HOO!!!!!! The American public didn't let me down! I am so excited!!!

I couldn't be happier if I were twins. The best headline so far this summer: Lopez, Affleck Bomb at North American Box Office

AW. YEAH!

I was just invited to a surprise birthday party on August 16th. Yay! More events to add to my suddenly active social calendar. Next week I have some things to do. I had a baby shower yesterday which wasn't as painful as I thought it would be.

I tend to be happier for people when they are actually happy to be pregnant or more to the point, their husbands are happy about it. Seriously my friend was the happiest pregnant person I have ever seen. Personally I'd be miserable if I were nearly 9 months pregnant in the middle of summer but she was glowing and so happy. I was so happy for her.

Okay I am laughing right now watching the Oakland fans boo Giambi. It's not his fault he left. They weren't going to sign him. Assclowns.

Someone had a sign that said, "Jason we still hate you." Nice. He should just hit another home run to shut them up.

Damn it double play.

Oh well.

Could it be any hotter in my apartment? I am literally sitting here in my underwear because it's just too hot to wear clothes.

How ironic, "Some Like it Hot" is on the New Wave channel. Heh.

I think I am going to order from the Dominican food place. I am in the mood for Pepper steak, rice & beans and plantains.

Plus today is my last day of eating crappy food.

I am starting my work out regimen again. I also made a bet with someone about losing weight. Of course, he's going to win because he's a guy and when they decide to lose weight it comes off as soon as they start exercising. Fuckers.

I can't take my cats. They are just sooo cute. They are obsessed with my feet.

It cracks me up especially because I hate my feet.

I am not looking forward to going into work tomorrow. I have this feeling that I am going to be aggravated the second I arrive.

OH MY GOD!!!! "She Out of My Life" by Michael Jackson is on. I used to LOVE this song!

The 80's channel has been playing really good stuff this weekend.

The sky is dark and threatening...ooo as soon as I typed that I heard a rumble of thunder.

"Damed indecision and cursed pride...I kept my love for her locked deep inside and it cuts like a knife. She's out of my (cue the waterworks) life. Mmmmm mmmm" Good cheesy song.

While flipping through the channels I found "Young Frankenstein". YAY! And it just started. This movie rocks. Mel Brooks is genius.

"Pardon me boy is the Transvylania Station?" "Ya ya track 29, oh can I give you a shine?" "Ah no thanks." Hee.

Marty Feldman. Aw.

"Were wolf" "Were wolf?" "There!" "What?" "There wolf. There castle"

HAHAHAHAHAHA! I remember my brother taped this movie when it played on HBO in like 1985 and we watched it so much we warped the tape. There's a part in the movie that my brother used to actually perform for people when they ca,me over to the house.

We had a lot of movies like that. Rocky IV was another one we warped.

Hee.

"Stay close to the candles, the staircase can be trecherous."

Okay it is time to eat.

Stace

August 1st 2003

I take back what I said yesterday it wasn’t “Walk Like an Idiot” Day. It’s “Walk Like an Idiot” Week.

Am I the only one who thinks that it would be nice for the defending World Series championship to actually be above .500 the following year? What the hell? It seems like a waste of a ring to me.

Maybe that’s just me.

I downloaded a bunch of cheesy songs into my work computer. Right now I am listening to “Dancing in Heaven (Orbital Be Bop)” by Q-feel. Those of you familiar with cheesy 80s music will know that song is from “Girls Just Want to Have Fun”. Aw. Yeah.

Speaking of cheesy 80s movies my friend saw “A Chorus Line” on DVD in Target for $9.44. That is a must buy.

“Let me dance for you! Let me try! Let me dance for you. We made a lot of music dancing you and I!”

Hee.

I can’t take these late Yankee games. I am too old to stay up late for 3 consecutive nights. My poor body can’t take it.

I hate that my co-worker is friends Jason Giambi’s wife. I feel guilty lusting after him.

Okay sometimes I feel guilty.

Heh.

Stace

July 31st 2003 started 8:40p

WHY??? Why did the Yankees get rid of prospects to get Aaron Boone? The farm system is depleted enough already. Good lord. Well, get ready Yankee fans, get ready for a long championship drought. Idiots.

It was a nice run while it lasted.

It's cold out right now. Tonight may be a good night to sleep with the windows wide open.

I love "Scrubs".

Oh God it's the baby episode. Fucker.

Pregnant women crap when they give birth!? Oh God I am so not getting pregnant EVER. I don't want anyone seeing me crap. Ick.

There's nothing good about being pregnant.

I love the janitor. He's a great character.

So is Dr. Kelso and Dr. Cox.

Have I told you guys how happy I am about the Family Guy being on the cartoon network? I. LOVE. THAT. SHOW.

Some one bring me Molly Sims so I can slap her.

Aw yeah. The 80s channel is playing New Kids on the Block's version of "Didn't I (Blow Your Mind This Time)". Hee. Jordan singing in falsetto, Joey sounding like he was twelve. Damn Joey Mac grew up good.

I am so bummed that we don't have Robin Ventura anymore.

I seriously can sit here for hours and just listen to the TV.

Grrrrrrr.

I had to go put a facial mask on. I am giving myself a mini facial. How nice.

OH MY GOD FERNANDO IS ON THE SOFT ROCK CHANNEL!!! Aw. My best friend sang this song to her daddy on his death bed. It was one of his favorite songs. I tried singing with her but I was sobbing too much.

Aw.

Wow it's almost been two years since he died. August 11th 2001.

Now I am depressing myself.

My dad also liked Fernando. What is it about that song?! Weird.

"Dead Man's Party" by Oingo Boingo! HAHAHA!! I always think of Back to School when I hear this song.

I should log off in case people are trying to call me. Especially since my cell phone is dead again. Piece of shite.

Stace

Finished 9:47p

July 31st 2003

Did someone declare today “Walk Like an Idiot” day in New York and not tell me? It’s one foot in front of the other people. It’s not that difficult.

And the thing that kills me is that it wasn’t just the tourists who couldn’t walk; the native New Yorkers weren’t doing too well either.

I don’t understand the problem.

I have to say it is a very nice day outside. Although I didn’t get to enjoy too much of it because of the idiot, er, I mean people traffic in front of the building.

Okay ladies, you know how in the summer you shed hair a lot more than you do in the winter, how come all of my blonde highlighted strands are the ones falling out? Why can’t the shit brown strands fall out damn it?!

Roger Clemens: You go boy. Way to pitch last night.

Jason Giambi: Grrrr. Congrats on #30.

Raul Mondesi: That’ll teach you to leave the ballpark ahead of the rest of your team.

Alex Rodriguez: Oh now you’ll take less money? I could have told you when you signed that out of control contract that your team would never make the playoffs. IT’S CALLED PITCHING AROD. PITCHING IS WHAT WINS WORLD SERIES TITLES. Case in point, 2002 Angels, 2001 Diamondbacks, 1998-2000 Yankees, etc.

Mike Piazza: Your catching days are over buddy boy. You can’t throw people out at second. You need to either play 1st base and shut the hell up or go to an AL team and be the DH. Those are your options now. Suck it up and deal. And don’t worry you’ll still make the Hall of Fame.

I went home last night and noticed some things missing from my apartment. It was mom doing some clean up. Heh.

She’s funny.

My babies are funny. When I came home they were acting like they hadn’t eaten in years. I felt bad because I worked late and got home after 8. So I gave them a treat and fed them wet food instead of the dry food I usually feed them. Well my mom calls me last night around 10:15 and says, “Yeah I fed them around 3 and gave them wet food.” Great…they’ll be shitting up a storm. Oy.

I made a girl laugh in the elevator on the way down to lunch. She got on at 16 and then the elevator stopped at 14 and no one got on. (she and I were the only ones in the elevator) So when the doors closed I said, “Now that’s annoying.” And she agreed. Then I said, “Of course if it’s an invisible man I’d feel bad for badmouthing him.” She giggled.

Heh.

The girl at Starbucks who makes the coffee was SO SLOW this morning. But since it was 8:30 and not 8:55 I was a little more patient than I normally would be. I would have walked out it were 8:55.

Like I said earlier I stayed late last night to finish up some stuff. I was working on one of our computer systems and a weird screen popped up and I yelled out, “Good God what the hell is that?” I did it thinking no one was there and of course the Senior VP of Sales was right next to my cubicle. Since he was to my left I couldn’t see him. Duh. I felt like an idiot.

Then again he is deaf in one ear, hopefully that ear was facing me and he didn’t really hear me.

I found out the best news!!! My man Gale Harold started shooting scenes yesterday for an upcoming 2-episode arc on the Showtime series "Street Time"...guess what his character is supposed to be? A ROCK STAR!!! God help me if he's wearing tight leather pants. GRRRRRRR.

In case you want to send me anything for my birthday, which is in 26 days, I have a wish list on Amazon.com. It’s mostly books, some DVDs and a couple of CDs.

Yeehaw!

I am not scared of my birthday. Yes I will be less than one year away from the dreaded 30th birthday…but I am looking forward to my 30s. I think everything I have been waiting for will happen in my 30s. Your 20s should be for having fun and finding yourself and figuring out what you want in life, your 30s are the time for getting everything you want.

Wow is the glass half full?!

I think that’s a good philosophy.

Do I regret some of the choices I’ve made in my 20s? You betcha. But am I grateful for those missteps? You betcha. They’ve helped me in the long run.

And if I am alone and childless by the time I hit 40 will I commit suicide? No. Will I be happy? That depends on whether or not I am enjoying my place in life at the time.

I am getting a little too serious.

Okay back to making fun of people. Oh! I made people on the uptown F train snicker yesterday. My co-worker was having trouble pronouncing Bennifer Lofleck’s movie. I explained that it’s “Gee-lee”. She thought it was “Giggly.” Heh. So I said, “J Lo’s ass is jiggly, the movie is gee-lee” These women sitting down in front of us snickered. My co-worker got mad because she likes Jennifer. It’s that Puerto Rican loyalty thing. It’s kind of like how I’ll defend Jennifer Aniston because she’s half Greek like me. Wait that doesn’t explain why my best friend who is 100% Puerto Rican hates her. Hmmm there goes that theory.

I think I want to see “American Wedding” this weekend. Maybe I’ll go by myself.

Yeah sure.

God help me I am listening to Debbie Gibson, oops, Deborah Gibson. Whatever.

My mom left me the funniest phone message last night. I can’t repeat it because it’s embarrassing but I was dying. The woman is insane.

Aw RIP Sam Phillips. Jeez. What’s with everyone dying lately? It’s like two a week.

Do you know how happy it makes me to read that “Gigli” sucks? Heh.

I hope American Wedding kicks its ass. But the American public is stupid (I can say that since I live here) and ‘Gigli” will probably make money.

Uh oh Jimmy Gandolfini is on the prowl again. Ick. He’s so unattractive.

Oh my God an Ikea is opening 20 minutes from my parents’ house. God help me.

NICOLE KIDMAN AND JUDE LAW!!??? That lucky bitch!!!

Oops sorry bitch is a strong word. I like Nicole Kidman. You go girl.

Instead of “Walk like an idiot day” it’s “Lets call Stacey eight million times and bug her” day. JESUS CHRIST.

I have to go before I throw someone out a window.

Stace

July 29th 2003

In the voice of Cher: “If I could turn back time…” Going back to a year ago this day…if I could change my future I would.

But I can’t change a thing. Unfortunately.

What is with this “Stacy’s Mom” song? I have complained all my life that there are no songs with my name in it. There’s finally one getting airplay and it’s about Stacy’s mom being hot and Stacy not being good enough. Well, at least they spell it the wrong way so technically there’s still no song with my name.

Word of advice, don’t ever buy a white skirt. I have been a paranoid freak all day wearing mine.

I actually stood up the entire time on the way into work today because I was afraid of sitting. Assclown. Yes I am calling myself an assclown.

Speaking of assclowns, BERGER!!!! How could you do this to me? Er, I mean, Carrie. Damn it. The writers of SATC HAD to ruin my Berger. Damn them!

But hey maybe that means Mr. Big will come back? (I am not spoiled so I have no clue)

I am having a bad day. Everything is pissing me off. Everyone is pissing me off. I can’t take it.

I want to go home and forget that this day ever started.

Things were so much better last year at this time.

I want to have amnesia.

I don’t want to remember anything anymore.

I should be careful. I may get my wish.

Okay I still have 14 minutes left of my lunch hour. I am going outside for a few to get fresh air.

So much for that, there were too many people outside and they were sucking up all the air. Ugh.

Stace

P.S. I love George Steinbrenner. And Amen.

July 28th 2003

You’d think I’d be really pissed off that my boys lost two out of three games in Boston this weekend, but I’m not.

They did the one thing I didn’t think they’d do, win the game Pedro “crybaby” Martinez pitched.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I don’t like your strike zone! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA that was a strike! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shut up.

The Yankees should have won all three games but hey now Boston thinks they can win the East. They have confidence and that will make it better when the Yankees pull away and the inevitable Boston choke occurs.

I got all excited when Weaver hit Nosemar and then Lowe retaliated by pitching behind Matsui’s back…I was hoping for a brawl. But no such luck. The Yankees need something like that to light a fire under their collective asses.

Aw. Bob Hope died. At least he made it to 100. That’s cool.

It looks nice out. I didn’t go out for lunch. I probably wouldn’t have come back.

I am so excited that VH1 is going to have “I Love the 70s” this month. Andy Gibb! Shawn Cassidy! Greg Evigan!!! “BJ and Bear” baby, aw yeah. I am so excited to see 1976-79. I am also excited to see the people they have lined up this time. The people who were interviewed for “I Love the 80s” were pretty funny. Especially Mo Rocca, Hal Sparks, Michael Ian Black and Mo Collins.

Comedy Central is showing a roast they did for Denis Leary. I love Denis Leary. It’s the Irish thing. And he looks good in the commercials. (Did I just type that?)

My account manager left for lunch and he left his radio on and it’s SOOOOOOOOOOO loud. Good lord.

I like Pink Floyd but really does it need to be that loud?

I am obsessed with Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. That show is sooooo funny. I watched a marathon on Saturday with my mom and I was cracking up. My friend needs to be on that show. He is in desperate need of a makeover. The fab five would have a field day with him.

Damn my belly hurts…can’t I ever have a week when I don’t have stomach problems?!

And because I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t make a mention of J.Lo at least once; just so everyone knows, she didn’t sleep with Ben Affleck until she was legally separated from Cris Judd. So she’s not a whore! Whatever. She was still engaged to another man while legally married. Assclown. And I turned on E! yesterday and her kiss ass, horse toothed sister was interviewing her for a Gigli press junket. Please. It’s a good thing I hadn’t eaten anything at that point because I would have thrown up. “Oh you were so good in this movie!!!” PUUUUUKE!

I have read that J.Lo’s character is a lesbian who is turned straight by Ben Affleck’s character. Some homosexual groups are not happy about that and frankly I don’t blame them. What the hell is that about? Make her a lesbian and keep her that way. That is beyond ridiculous. And didn’t Ben Affleck already do Chasing Amy? Didn’t the same thing happen?!

Oy.

Saudi Arabia better watch it’s back because George W is coming and it ain’t gonna be pretty.

Tsk tsk.

I’m definitely not asking for Olympic passes for Athens next summer. I am not going anywhere near that part of the world.

I missed Sex and the City last night was almost spoiled by my co-workers. I yelled out, “Shut up! I haven’t seen it yet!”

OH!!!!! I have a funny story involving my mother and brother I love my family. Last night my mom whispers to me, “Your brother’s got a love bite on his neck.” Immediately my mind wanders to Moonstruck and Olympia Dukakis’s great line, “You got a love bite on your neck, you’re life’s goin down the toilet!!” Anywho, she noticed it when she was visiting my grandma at the nursing home with him. She pointed to her own neck to show me where it was. So I laughed and so did my best friend who was over hanging out. So the second my brother comes home all three of us start looking at him and we’re waiting for him to turn around so we can see it. Sure enough he has a giant hickey on the side, actually almost the back of his neck. Ass. A hickey? At 25? So he knew what we were doing and got embarrassed. But I said to my mom, ‘Well I can’t make fun of him because at least he’s getting some.’ She didn’t like that too much. Heh.

Actually the funniest part of the story is that my dad had NO clue what was going on.

He’s clueless when it comes to that stuff.

I am shocked, shocked, that Liza Minelli’s marriage is over. SHOCKED!!!!

Yeah ok.

I HATE MY INTESTINES!!!!

Stace

July 23rd 2003

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry…Jesse Orosco? How desperate is George Steinbrenner? Good lord.

Oh I found out Ophelia is a family name which is why my friend’s baby is being named that particular Shakespeare character name.

I shouldn’t talk. I could have been Anastasia.

Guess who is going to be sitting 10 rows behind the Yankee dugout the night before her 29th birthday? AW. HELL. YEAH. I was able to get two tickets. Yeehaw. It’s my birthday present to my best friend (we share the same birthday and same brain)

I am so excited. Of course, knowing my luck Giambi will be the DH that night. In fact now that Nick Johnson is on his way back, he may very well be the DH that night. Damn it!

At least I’ll get to watch Derek’s fine ass jog back and forth to and from the dugout. Aw. Yeah. (note to Chris—hahahahaha)

I went to the NBC commissary today for lunch with two of my coworkers and we were stuck next to a table of 6 or 7 “oh my god, like, totally” girls. God help me. Thank god we finished our lunch quickly because if I had to hear one more word out of their sorority girl mouths I would have thrown something at them.

“Like oh my God, totally! My roommate is like totally obsessed with Britney Spears!” SHUT UP.

How do you tell someone you miss them when you see them everyday? And how do you do it without them knowing that you’re doing it?

One of my co-workers was out sick for two days with strep throat and her account manager was saying, “You should have come in and gone to the medical center. Strep’s not contagious…blah blah blah.” My co-worker said, “I should lick her phone next time I have strep so we can find out how contagious it is.” HAHAHAHA. Gross but funny.

I talked to the head of the NBC gym and we are going to work out a schedule for one on one training. I am getting my half Greek ass back into shape if it kills me. Yeehaw. I am going to be in shape again. Aw. Yeah.

I just spoke to my brother and he was laughing about the Yankees getting Jesse Orosco. It’s funny. The man’s first season was 1979. I was 5!!! Good lord.

Okay “lunch” is over.

Stace

July 22nd 2003

I am watching Star Dates on E! Tiffany is on a date with an Australian dude. Anywho, the scroll at the bottom is reporting that Chris O'Donnell and his wife welcomed their third child. At first I was horrified because it seems like he just got married yesterday. I looked it up in imdb.com and it says they got married in 1997. Okay 3 kids in 6 years isn't that bad. But still, good lord I know he's Irish and he's like the youngest of 7 kids...why does she have to be a baby machine? Yikes.

I love the name though. Charles McHugh o'Donnell. I so need to marry an Irish guy just so I can use cool names like Keegan, Tierney and McSomething.

Heh. That reminds me of my nickname for a co-worker of mine. I have him as "Chubby McAssclown" on my buddy list at work.

He deserves it.

So does his chubby ass.

Not that I should talk because I am getting out of shape again. Although a co-worker asked me if I was losing weight because she said I looked really skinny in a certain outfit last week. I said, "Um no I've actually gained weight."

Oh yeah the softball team was rained out AGAIN.

So Sadaam's sons are dead. Woop-dee-doo!

I had an uneasy feeling in my stomach after we got the news alert.

The Yankees were rained out. THANK GOD. After last night's game, wait can I call it a game? Anyway, after last night's absymal "performance" they needed tonight off.

Yay! Jessica Lynch is home and safe! YAY!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA KOBE BRYANT!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ahem. Sorry for that outburst.

Oh I was so ready to beat on this bitch this morning in the elevator. She held the doors open for this guy twice who TWICE refused to come into the elevator. There were 6 other people in the elevator you FUCKING WHORE. She's really lucky I didn't pull her hair out.

I HATE when people do that shit.

If you're alone in the elevator fine but when you are in a crowded elevator at NINE O'CLOCK IN THE FUCKING MORNING, you don't do that.

Stupid ass.

I am attending a baby shower a week from Saturday and I found out the baby is going to be named Ophelia. Okay my first question is (and I am quoting Chandler Bing from Friends), "Why why why why why would they do this?" OPHELIA? As in Hamlet. As in Shakespeare? Second question, "How did you come up with that name?"

Kobe, sweetie, you fucked another woman. Moron.

Famous guys are going to have to start having their conquests fill out forms and sign papers promising that they won't suddenly become crazy and accuse them of assault.

Do I think Kobe Bryant assaulted the girl? No.

But he still fucked her. That's bad enough.

Susie Green from Curb Your Enthusiasm is my idol.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Thank you and goodnight.

Stace

July 21st 2003

I was in a foul mood when I got into work today because it’s Monday and it was crappy out this morning. My foul mood was wiped away after listening to Kobe Bryant’s press conference the other day. I was laughing my ass off because Howard stern was playing snippets and making fun of KB.

He was all weepy talking to his wife and apologizing to her in front of the gathered press, for his infidelity. Yeah ok. Kobe is just sorry he got caught.

Assclown.

We have people visiting our office today from most of the stations. Do you think the higher ups would introduce some of the new people to us? Of course not, we’re not important.

Idiots.

I am up to page 600 of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Only 200 or so left.

I have to laugh when I see woman who try to dress like Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City. My advice to them: GIVE IT UP. It doesn’t even look that good on Sarah Jessica Parker.

Aw man. I am feeling really light headed today and I don’t know why. I actually ate two meals yesterday so I don’t know why I am feeling sick.

The camera guys at the YES Network really love me. Not only did they get a couple of shots of Giambi wearing a sleeveless shirt in the dugout during the Old Timers Game BUT they got him shirtless in the locker room after the game. I am seriously going to send them a gift at the end of the season.

To the YES Network camera crew: YOU ROCK MY WORLD.

Aw yeah.

I just got a set of curlers that I ordered this weekend on Amazon. I need to try and curl my hair. Everyone looks so nice when they come to work and my hair always looks like ass. So I am making a vow to actually wake up early to be girlie and curl my hair tomorrow.

Hopefully I’ll remember that vow when my alarm goes off.

Back to work I go. Thank God the station people are here, that means we’ll all be left alone to finish our work.

Stace

July 17th 2003

My co-worker Brian’s wife brought their son into the office today. Oh my God you can eat him up. He’s fourteen months old and so precious. He loves the ladies. He flirts. It’s so cute.

He totally cheered me up.

Well, actually I was in a relatively good mood today. I am usually in a better mood after I have a good cry.

My co-worker Tom decided to use his PowerPoint skills to doctor a picture of me and used one of my cat’s pictures as well. I was literally hysterical. I was glad I wasn’t drinking something. It would have been all over the place.

I am not going to be able to root for Armando Benitez. It’s going to be really hard. He’s a first class jerk. I still haven’t forgiven him for what he did 5 years ago to Tino Martinez. (Jesus that was 5 years ago?!)

It’s 6PM I gotta go home.

Stace

July 16th 2003

Happy 29th Birthday to my friend Dan. (Traitor)

Okay maybe I was hallucinating but I thought I saw something that said the Yankees were going to trade for Armando Benitez. Maybe the pot I smoked in college is catching up to me because they cannot be serious. Armando Benitez?! I cannot in good conscience root for that assclown. I can’t. Damn it.

Bobby Valentine is still an assclown.

So is Barry Bonds. I really can’t understand how people can root for him, he’s such a dickhead.

And Chicago White Sox fans? You’ve had Carl Everett on your team for what, two minutes? Frank Thomas should have been playing last night and you know it.

Idiots.

Ugh.

All Tim McCarver kept saying was that it could be a 6-inning game, once Dusty Baker brought in Wagner, Gagne and Smoltz it would be lights out. Well that’s NOT what happened. Who hit a home run off of the untouchable Billy Wagner? My man Jason Giambi did. Who was the losing pitcher? Eric Gagne. Who didn’t even pitch? John Smoltz. So the American League steals home field advantage from the National League and who was the person to win the game for the AL? A guy named Hank Blalock from the cellar dwelling Texas Rangers. Every member of the All Star team who is on a playoff bound team should have kissed him after that jack.

Jason Giambi has the same affliction as me! He speaks too fast and sometimes reverses the first letters of the two words of a phrase he is trying to speak. He did it on ESPN while talking to Chris Berman last night. We are soulmates. He needs to divorce his wife and marry me.

Oh. I. Can’t. Breathe. Laughing. Too. Hard.

“And also in the last month, both Affleck and Lopez parted company with their longtime publicists and hired new behind-the-scenes teams. Popular theory: Affleck wants to help sophisticate his wife-to-be's image in case his long-rumored aspirations of a political life as a congressman from Massachusetts become a reality.”

There are no words.

Whatever you do, DON’T TURN ON NBC tomorrow night at 10pm.

Okay I have a pile pf paperwork that is frightening me. I have to get rid of it.

Stace

July 14th 2003 10:48pm

Okay you think I'd be bummed because Jason Giambi didn't win the HR derby, but I am not. You know why?! Because in 1997 Tino Martinez won the HR Derby for the Yankees and they lost in the first round of the playoffs to Cleveland. In 2002 Giambi won the HR Derby and the Yankees lost in the first round of the playoffs. You see? You see what happens?! So yeah I was slightly bummed for Jason but happy for him because now he'll make it to at least the ALCS. (Yeah ok I just jinxed him) He did a good job. He hit 12 in the first round and 11 in the second round. It's just that he was against Albert Pujols who hit 14 second round and Pujols went before him. 23 total is pretty damn good. And what did I say earlier? He looked HOT doing it.

Joe Morgan is an assclown. He's so fucking negative.

At least A Rod and Chris Berman weren't negative.

DAMN he looked hot. He has like no hair. DAMN. (Giambi not Morgan)

One more time: DAMN.

Seriously it's a good thing I don't have a penis. I'd be walking around with a hard on 24/7.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

The babies were bad so I locked them in their room. And they're so well trained I yelled at them to "Get in there!" And they walked in. Aw.

One more thing about Jason Giambi, he's really a good guy. When he lost to Pujols he walked right over to him, gave him a big hug and told him to win the whole thing. He didn't, Garret Anderson on the Angels (BOO!!) Won. Aw.

Okay I am going to go to bed and read some more Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I am up to page 157 out like 8000. Oy.

Stace

July 14th 2003

I will be watching the HR derby for a second year in a row. I hope my man does well. It’s got to be hard being the defending champion.

It doesn’t matter whether he wins or loses; it’s how hot he looks.

Heh.

I am not in the mood to be here today at all. I feel icky and would much rather be sitting in front of my TV watching crappy shows.

I cannot believe that on SATC Carrie and Berger said, “I love you” already. It seems a little rushed to me. Then again what the fuck do I know?

I was late again today because of train trouble. The MTA is really pissing me off lately.

Have you ever wanted to tell someone fuck off and die?

Yeah I had that enter my mind at one point this morning.

I hate happy people.

Stace

July 10th 2003

The New York City Subway system SUCKS! I have had problems getting to work the last two days. Yesterday I was stuck in an A train for close to 45 minutes. Usually it takes 5 minutes to get from 125th street to 59th street, yesterday 45 minutes. I was ready to shoot someone. I didn’t have a book to read, I had a couple standing in front of me who were kissing and cuddling (ICK)…it was hell. Fucking get a room. Thank god I usually skip breakfast because it would have been all over the chick’s white pants. I HATE PDAs with a passion. It’s unnecessary. Holding hands is fine, kissing and groping not cool.

Memo to George Steinbrenner: Don’t worry about Pedro Martinez. He’ll probably pull something by the time the series in September starts.

Memo to Mike Scocsia: You’re still an assclown.

Memo to Pedro Martinez: Hit Jeter again. He was 4 for 5 in his return last night.

Another memo to Pedro Martinez: Don’t take out your All Star snub on the Yankees, they didn’t vote for their own players either.

I am never watching Fame again, they voted my boy off which is complete BULLSHIT.

Poor Tom Glavine. An All Star caliber player goes to the Mets and gets dragged into their suckiness abyss. Carlos Baerga and Roberto Alomar anyone?

Sorry I couldn’t think of a better word than suckiness (which isn’t a word). Whatever.

I didn’t win Powerball last night. Damn it. I still have to come into work tomorrow.

I just ate a really good lunch, hopefully it will not kill me in about an hour.

Have you ever been in a cab on the West Side highway, sweating from the pain you’re in on the way home from dinner? That was me on Tuesday night. And of course the cab hit every fucking pothole ever. I thought I was going to die. I was doing Lamaze breathing because I was in so much pain. I even tipped the cabbie $5 for getting me home so quickly.

Heh. I hate having a bad stomach.

Wait was that TMI? Oh well.

We’re all friends, right?

I can’t believe how much it cooled off here. I was sweating my ass off while I was getting ready for work yesterday morning and then freezing when I got home.

I love being able to throw things back into people’s faces.

Stupid asses.

So Jason Giambi is on the All Star team, finally. I guess the “third time is a charm” stuff is true.

And DAMN he looks hot scruffy. I love when the boys are on the road, they don’t shave as often.

Manny Ramirez is an idiot and should be benched. I hate guys who don’t run balls out. Alfonso Soriano does it and it makes me want to scream. Ramirez hit what he thought was going to be a home run at the Skydome last night, but it dropped, the outfielders misplayed it and because he wasn’t running very hard he had a triple instead of an inside the park home run. Dumbass. Not that I would root for the Red Sox to score runs, it’s the principle.

Assclown.

Okay I have to get back to work. It’s very quiet around here today.

Stace

July 7th 2003

Sunburn sucks. I burned my neck and upper back at the Yankee game yesterday.

I am still so pissed about the All Star selections this year. A message to Mike Soscia (or however the hell you spell it): You are playing for home field advantage in the World Series. ASSCLOWN. My prediction is the NL 6 AL 1. The AL bullpen SUCKS.

And Bud Selig needs to be hit over the hit with a blunt object.

Bitchy Stacey is back.

Aw yeah.

I am going out to dinner tomorrow night after work and then I am going out with some college peeps after work on Thursday.

Woo hoo! Go me.

Hopefully being with my friends will help my mood.

Assclowns of the week: Bud Selig, Mike Soscia and Dusty Baker.

I hate everyone today.

Stace

JACK!

July 6th 2003

If the Yankees had lost in my presence I would have had a total shitfit. I was having a bad enough weekend. I didn't need that on top of everything else.

Andy Pettitte KICKED ASS. Thank God.

At least he shut some of the Boston fans up. I was such a bitch to this guy behind me because he said something obnoxious about the fact that they were showing highlights of Dwight Gooden's no hitter. He said, "That happened seven years ago, who cares." I turned around and said, "Well, we've had so many no hitters we just rotate the highlights." Assclown.

I had boys flirting with me the whole game. NICE. One was a Sox fan and he was very cute.

I needed that so badly. I needed to know that I am attractive. Because I have been feeling like such shit the last few days. I mean I know I am pretty, people tell me all the time but it's different when you have strangers striking up conversation with you and flirting and beinng cute, ya know?

All women need that sometimes. Even married ones.

I spoke to a college friend last night and she was telling me about how she recently got engaged and lately that kind of news would send me over the edge but I was okay. She also said something really sweet. She said she couldn't believe that I hadn't found someone yet and that any guy would be lucky to have me. Aw. That helped my mood improve exponentially.

Oh the Yankees DJ played "Jenny from the Block" this afternoon. Ick. And a girl proposed to a guy! I have never seen that!

A guy they called up from AAA ball hit a HR today. We gave him a curtain call. It was nice.

I had a fun time. It was just me and my bro. He struck up a conversation with an old man next to him who was talking about going to the stadium and seeing Mantle play. That was cool.

I had my boys below me. And the idiot behind me.

I am in shock...the All Star team?! WHAT THE FUCK!??? Armando Benitez is an All Star? Are you FUCKING kidding me? Pedro Martinez, Sammy Sosa and Roger Clemens aren't? WHAAAAAAAT?

It's a trasvesity!

I am appalled.

I am sick to my stomach.

Ugh, and now I have to vote for Jason Giambi to possibly be the 32nd player?! WHAT?!?!?! BULLSHIT. He's the reigning HR derby champ AND after an abysmal start he hit 11 HR last month alone.

Thank God some people were smart and voted for Soriano.

ARMANDO BENITEZ!!!!!!???????

Breathe in breathe out.

And where the hell is the dude from the Marlins?! The pitcher Dontrell Jones. That's his name right?! It's such bullshit.

I hope the American League loses and the National League gets home field advantage.

A message to Puff Daddy: You are not making a BAND, you are making a GROUP. A band plays instruments, a group sings and raps.

Moron.

O Town is not a band.

Pearl Jam is a band.

Oh my God! They shot this scene outside out of our building and my coworker took pictures. HAHA! Oh sorry I am watching Sex and the City.

I think it's supposed to be hot again tomorrow.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I love Samantha from Sex and the City. She has some of the best lines.

Carrie has phone sex with Big? I guess that's not so bad. Phone sex isn't real sex, hell even I've had phone sex. Oh wait no I didn't. I blew it all out of proportion. Even though I came. Asshole.

I love Berger. I want a berger. Where can I meet a Berger?

Huh?!-++ <----that's Henry laying on the keyboard

Oh my GOD I am having a deja vu watching this episode. FRIENDS DON'T DO THAT...THANK YOU CARRIE BRADSHAW AND FUCK YOU MR. X!

Good episode.

Two thumbs up.

Damn it I wish Queer As Folk was still on.

What am I gonna watch now?!

The thing that cracks me up about Sex and the City is that if anyone were to actually try and dress like Carrie Bradshaw, they'd be laughed at and ridculed.

I was just flipping through the channels and I saw Katie Holmes topless in "The Gift". She has a nice rack. Where did that rack come from?! Heh.

63-41777702 <----so is that.

I better go before he shuts the computer off again.

Stace

July 5th 2003

“It’s too darn hot…”

Um hi, Yankees players, can you score some fucking runs?!? 11 hits and 2 runs?!? WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? You better FUCKING win tomorrow when I am there or I will stay after the game and yell at every single one of you as you walk to your cars.

Assheads.

I had a nice day yesterday. I went to my friend Melissa’s house for a barbecue. It’s so weird having a friend with a house. Soon she’ll have a baby, then the baby will graduate high and maybe I’ll have a boyfriend by then.

I am in SUCH a bad mood this weekend. Being out yesterday helped me to keep my mind off of certain things that are going on in my pathetic life, but today…I am in a REALLY BAD mood. An extremely foul mood that even the prospect of Outback Steakhouse didn’t help. (I’m here not there)

It’s hot and I was sitting out by my parents’ pool and I didn’t even want to go in, even though I was sweating my ass off.

Depression sucks. I was in such a bad mood I called up my boss on Thursday and left a blubbering message on her voicemail saying I couldn’t go to work. I was crying like a fool. I hadn't planned on breaking down on the phone, it just happened.

Okay I gotta go.

Stace

July 2nd 2003

Why is it that I always think things are going to be horrible and they turn out OK? Key word being: OK. It was OK. Things are OK. Could be better but they are OK.

Oh my GOD! Quote of the Day said by Samantha from Sex and the City: "I want something that will make a man come as soon as he sees me."

So do I Sam, so do I.

Not a specific man just any man will do at this point. A pulse and someone who's at least 5'10". Thanks.

Okay oh my god. Samantha was with that hot piece of ass waiter and they were in so many funny positions. Heh. Damn. He's hot.

CARRIE BETTER NOT CHEAT ON BURGER WITH BIG DAMN IT.

What the fuck?! Why is Carrie Bradshaw such a jackass?

I am NOT watching Project Greenlight.

Fuck that.

It took me forever to get home tonight. The trains were not cooperating. And I get on the A train at 168th Street and there is this woman who was seriously the LOUDEST person I have ever encountered in my entire life. Holy shit. She was so loud. Thank god she was only on one more stop. When she got off the train people sighed with relief. So I looked at a guy who was sitting near me and asked him how long she was on the train. He smiled and said, "I got on at 34th street." I shook my head and laughed. Poor guy. If I had to hear that voice for nearly a half an hour I would have died.

I had a weird day. I had a lunch with a friend where we discussed the state of our friendship which has been in tatters for the past few months. Like I said in my first section of today's entry, it was ok. I, of course, thought of things to say AFTER we left the restaurant. I always do that. I was a nervous wreck before I left for lunch because I was afraid of what was going to be said. Most of what he said I expected. But I wish I had opened my mouth more because I would have liked to have refreshed his memory. Of course the fact that I downed a glass of white wine within the first ten minutes didn't help things. Oh well. We're moving on. Or we're going to try. Like I've said in previous entries I wish someone would invent a mind eraser.

The heart is a funny little muscle isn't it? When it's "broken" it affects your whole life. It sucks.

But I will recover from this. I always do.

In fact I am more than halfway there.

My boy made it to the next round of Fame. Aw yeah. GO ALEX!

I scanned pictures of my babies into my work computer so I will post them tomorrow. You can see what they look like. I may scan some of my Puerto Rico pictures too.

Ok I want to go to bed at a decent hour.

Stace

July 1st 2003

“Ahhhh there’s nothing like the smell of stale armpit in the morning.” My apologies to Robert Duvall but I had to steal that line. I hate going on trains in the morning that reek of armpit stank and being afraid of that stank attaching itself to me.

ICK!

I turned the Yankee game off when it was 4-1 because Andy Pettitte was pissing me off and I think I was watching something compelling on E! (If that’s at all possible) and then I decided to flip back to see what the final score was. I said out loud, “11-1.” And then they flashed the scoreboard and it was 6-5 Yanks. And Pettitte picked up the win. Well golly (in the voice of Jim Neighbors)

I interrupt my Yankee story with the following news bulletin. The programming people just sent an email that states: Thu 7/17 10-11pm new title: J LO & BEN: America's Couple. ARE THEY FUCKING KIDDING ME? I am so embarrassed to be working here right now. They are NOT America’s couple. Just like the Atlanta Braves isn’t America’s Team. WHAT THE FUCK? Oh my God. I have to calm down. I am going to have an aneurysm.

One more thing: I hope they break up soon. God I can’t take it.

Just when we thought it was safe to watch Access Hollywood again with out a seeing report of when JHo goes to the bathroom. Now everything starts up again.

And Stacey was obviously not feeling well last night because she was watching Glitter, yes Glitter on HBO.

Damn my best friend has potent burps. We each have a specific burp we do for each other to make each other laugh. I have my pirate burp where I sound like I am saying, “Rrrrrrr.” And she has her, hmmmmmm I can’t describe it. But it’s funny and makes me laugh like an idiot, well a bigger idiot than usual.

Okay I had the weirdest dream last night, no this morning; I was in my friend Julie’s room with our friend Tiffanie. Tiffanie was complaining about her armpits and that she missed a spot shaving and then I showed her that I did the same thing. Meanwhile, Jason Giambi was in the room with us doing crunches on Julie’s workout ball. Someone remind me never to drink soda before bed.

Man I am so raspy I sound like Demi Moore. Just call me Demi Less. Less money, less plastic surgery, less Ashton Kutcher ass…Damn it I just depressed myself.

You go girl.

I got a great idea for my book. It’s a little too close to real life, but who gives a shit. I hopefully won’t be here by the time it’s published anyway.

Quote of the Day: "I think in the cold weather it's just harder for big muscled guys to get loose." Jason Giambi. Hmmmmmm big muscle. Oops sorry.

Hot damn.

Ok time for work again.

Stace

June 30th 2003

RIP in peace Katharine Hepburn.

I took my Japanese friend Shiro to his first Yankee game last night and it was great seeing his face while he was reacting to everything. He said he couldn’t believe how big everything was. And his fellow countryman Matsui hit a home run so he was happy about that.

My man Giambi hit a 3 run homer that I called, thank you very much. I also predicted that Jeff Weaver would give up 3 runs in the first inning. I told Shiro while we were waiting for my brother and my best friend to arrive. When it happened he looked shocked and said, “You’re scary.”

HAHAHAHAHA!

Shiro looked like a little kid watching the game. It was nice to see the game through his eyes and to be excited about it again. I take it for granted that I get to go Yankee games as often as I do. And seeing Shiro soaking everything in at the most famous baseball stadium on earth was just so great.

Oh so the guy I loved in college is marrying my twin on July 12th. I think I am going to crawl under a rock now.

Ugh.

I do want to see what this chick, Tracey looks like. Yes, not only does she look like me but her name also rhymes with mine. Coincidence? I think not. Like I’ve said in the past, he can’t handle the real Stacey so he had to get Diet Stacey. Whatthefuckever.

Derek Jeter has a song that plays during his second at bat that talks about a “magic stick”…uh I certainly hope he’s referring to his baseball bat and not his “love” bat. Dear lord.

Giambi hit a BOMB to left center. It was awesome. And he looked HOT running around the bases. Yeah ok so I think he looks hot exhaling, so what!? (Memo to the Channel 2 camerman who caught him doing push ups in the dugout at Shea on Saturday: YOU ROCK MY FUCKING WORLD)

I am very happy they won last night. 1) Because it shuts the idiot Met fans up 2) Because I was there 3) because it keeps them ahead of Boston by 3 and a half games. 4) Because it annoys certain people.

My best friend Racquel does not like Roberto Alomar and she actually yelled out, “Bitch!” to him. HAHAHAHAHA! That comes close but doesn’t surpass her “Pussy!” that was yelled at Jeff Nelson during the 2001 ALCS.

I screamed out “You suck!” to Jeff Weaver in the first inning and this woman who was sitting in front of us didn’t like that too much. She turned around to look at Racquel and I, so during the whole game Racquel made sure she was as loud and obnoxious as possible while screaming over this woman’s head. Heh.

I pay good money for my seats lady. You don’t go to as many games as I do. So bite me. If I want to scream at the top of my lungs and yell at Jeff Weaver for sucking that I fucking can.

How about them apples?

Silence sucks.

The following is an email I sent to the NY Post.

"This is an open letter to the musical director at Yankee Stadium. Do not, I repeat, do not play anything by Jennifer Lopez ever again. Jenny from the Block, the woman who is "so proud" of her Bronx roots (yet shoots her videos in LA), has been photographed wearing a Red Sox hat and has been photographed rooting for the Red Sox with her fiancee (of 2003) Ben Affleck. As a season ticket holder with musical taste I find it offensive that they play her "music" in the first place but my blood pressure almost went through the roof when I saw that hat on her head. If I hear "Let's Get Loud" or "Jenny From the Block" blaring out of the oversized speakers above the facade in centerfield again, I will take this up with George Steinbrenner personally. Thanks."

HAHAHAHA! I am so funny!

I hope they publish it.

And thankfully I didn’t have to hear anything last night.

And I hate my network for deciding to air an hour long special dedicated to Bennifer Lofleck in July.

Hello overexposure anyone? Oh wait I know why they are doing it. Test audiences weren’t too enthused with “Gigli” the movie where they met and fell in love (PUKE) so the movie studio figures they’ll bombard the poor American public with Bennifer Lofleck and brainwash them into seeing their shit movie.

Another Whatthefuckever.

Don’t be fooled by the rocks that I got…biotch.

I was so excited when Giambi hit his home run that I broke my right thumbnail in two places. Duh.

Stace

June 28th 2003

I am convinced that men who get vascetomies only do it because they cheat on their wives and don't want to get the chick they're fucking on the side pregnant. They're afraid of spreading their seed and afraid of their wives finding out. Women carry the babies they should be the ones who get fixed.

By the way it is gorgeous out today. I am going to show my friends my old apartment building. We are going to walk up to my old neighborhood.

It's funny when the yankee broadcasters mention that Derek Jeter being 29 and my first reaction is damn I'm getting old. Even though we are the same age I always felt older than him for some reason.

It's disturbing to me that the people in this neighborhood think it's perfectly acceptable for children to be outside at 2am. Am I becoming an old fogey? Is that something that people do? Let their 10 year olds hang out on the street at 2am.

I did something I thought would end a situation but instead it's only opened up a can of worms. Damn it. I hate when I feel the need to express myself in writing.

Okay this Verizon commercial with the sisters fighting over the cell phone is so funny.

I was so bored this morning I was plucking my leg stubble with a tweezer. Yeah I know. PSYCHO.

Man Jorge Posada is sucking ass lately. Oh sorry according to Tom Seaver, Mets broadcaster extraordinaire, it's Jose Posada. As much as I can't stomach Michael Kay I would take him over the drunks they have working for Channel 11. The Mets play by play guys BITE. My dad was watching one of the games last week on the local station and said he was laughing at how terrible the Mets broadcasters are.

You know it's a bad thing when you're flipping through the channels you stop on a skinamax movie and you recognize it and know after watching it for two seconds, what the plot is.

Okay I really have to shower.

Stace

June 27th 2003

I seriously wonder where the hell my brain is sometimes. I don’t know if I can blame the heat for my latest brainfart or if I am just insane.

I am SUCH A DUMBASS.

Okay I feel a lot better having said that.

Subway Series 2003 Part 2 commences tonight at the House That Ruth Built. It’s not very exciting this year. The subway series is blah. The fans are blah about it. The players are blah about it.

It’s only fun when both teams are good. This year the Yanks are in first and the Mets are in the basement or on the last step on the way to the basement.

I was outside for about 15 minutes again today at lunch. It’s hot again but not as bad as yesterday and the next few days are going to be in the 80s. I can deal with the 80s, the 90s suck. That’s just too damn hot for me.

My hair looked good when I first got to work this morning and then I ruined it by putting it up in a bun. Dumbass. Maybe I’ll go to the ladies and wet it and fluff it again.

My former account manager said to me this morning, “Those are the funkiest pair of pants I have ever seen you wear.” They’re not that bad but they kinda look like the cargo pants J.Ho wears in her Jenny From the Block video that are tied at the calf. Ugh I am dressing like J.Ho now. And I guess I am going to have to boycott Louis Vuitton now because she is in the ads for their fall bag collection.

Fucking J.Ho has to ruin my bag buying pleasure. Assclown.

Hahahaha.

I was downstairs buying my lunch and a woman (tourist) with two kids was bitching about how expensive everything was in the place. I laughed and she gave me a dirty look. So I said, “At least you don’t have to pay New York City rent.” That shut her up.

Don’t bitch and moan about how expensive everything is New York. Try going to less expensive places, they do exist. Of course, you’ll be paying out the nose at Rockefeller Center. IT’S A TOURIST TRAP MORON!

Man I hate people today.

This morning I was stuck behind an annoying group of southern college kids (who all had identical t-shirts on to show the world that they are prime mugging targets) at Starbucks. And instead of looking at the menu to see what they wanted they were yapping to each other about their Podunk towns and when the nice Starbucks girl asked them what they wanted they didn’t have a clue. Fuckers…I hate people again.

I knew the good mood wouldn’t last more than a month.

I just want to go home and cuddle with my cats.

Stace

June 26th 2003

I would like to wish a Happy 29th Birthday to Yankee Captain Derek Jeter. He is exactly two months older than me. It’s fate. We belong together.

Yeah ok.

Wow I got that nauseous feeling again at the sight of someone. Maybe it was the heat? No I think it was their chubby ass.

Oops that was mean of me.

I took a picture for a couple. They wanted a picture of themselves with St. Patrick’s Cathedral in the background. I hope it came out okay. Then the guy says to me, “You sound like you’re from around here, do you know where ABC is?” So I told him and they went on their merry way.

I was outside for 15 minutes and was dying from the heat. It wasn’t too bad at first but then after about 5 minutes I started to feel it.

Thank goodness for air conditioning.

My poor babies are probably passed out on the kitchen floor from the heat.

I made a really cool 80s mix on my windows media player. I have made a few mixes and decided I needed an 80s mix. I have Tears For Fears, Duran Duran (of course), Psychedelic Furs, Adam Ant, The Waitresses, The Flirts and other assorted 80s artists.

Oooo I forgot to put Def Leppard on there. Duh!

My mom was cracking me up yesterday. She was making fun of my dad. I swear they are going to kill each other. They’re both retired and are going to drive each other up a wall.

My mom needs to go somewhere and get away from him even if it’s just for a weekend.

I was telling a co-worker of mine the saga of my ceiling. So about 5 minutes later he sends me an email. It’s a clip of Cartman from South Park singing “In The Ghetto”. I nearly peed in my pants. It is so funny.

What’s with the Tampa Bay Devil Rays pitchers trying to hit my boys? Um hello? Are you guys insane? Jeter’s been hit twice, Soriano almost got hit in the head the other night and they hit Giambi last night. Assclowns.

There’s a guy on this floor who is REALLY hot. He, of course, is married. All the good ones are taken. Damn it! Or gay.

I am wearing a slinky dress today and feel a little self-conscious. I had to wear it because it’s too hot to wear anything else.

I feel bad for the guys in our office. They can’t wear golf shirts on Fridays during the summer. They have to be dressed up. That sucks in heat like this and it especially sucks because for the last 4 years that I have been here they always had casual Fridays.

Well, there’s one guy I don’t feel bad for.

Evil Stacey is back. The good mood is close to being gone. Hey, it lasted nearly a month.

Okay I’d better go and do some work. That is what they pay me nothing for. Heh.

Stace

June 25th 2003

It finally feels and smells like summer in New York. Ahhh…there’s nothing like the scent of urine and BO permeating your nostrils early in the morning.

I refuse to go outside during lunch when it’s 90 degrees out. I hate sweating. And I hate more it when I am sweating from doing NOTHING. If I were working out I would be happy to be sweating. If I were making out I would be happy to be sweating but sweating from just sitting and doing nothing, sucks.

The idiots, er, Yankees won last night, barely. I turned it off when the Devil Rays pulled ahead 9-6. I had had enough. Apparently Juan Rivera of all people hit a 3 run homer to tie it and Todd Zeile hit the game winning double in the 10th. Once again because you didn’t hear me yesterday: YOU ARE PLAYING THE DEVIL RAYS!!! They are a triple A team for Chrissakes.

I can’t take it.

Forget about the Red Sox. The Blue Jays are up your ass now.

So I walk into my apartment to inspect it because I left the babies out all day instead of keeping them confined in their room. Everything looked fine and I went into my room to go to the master bathroom and I see stuff all over the floor. I am bewildered for a brief moment because I had locked them out of my room and the door was shut when I came home. Then I looked to my right and up and there was a hole in the shower stall ceiling. It literally exploded all over the bathroom. It was lovely.

I slipped a note under my super’s door and he came by last night to clean the mess. Apparently other ceilings are falling in other apartments in the building. The place was built in 1930 so everything was bound to fall apart, but I am NOT paying my rent until they fix the gaping hole in my ceiling. Fuck that shit. Last time they were supposed to fix something it took them well over a month to do it. Assholes.

The apartment is becoming more of a hassle with each passing day.

I slept with my window wide open last night and actually fell and stayed asleep, even with all the noise. It was nice, not hot, and not cold. It was perfect at least according to Goldilocks’s criteria. I kept the shades closed on the window that faces the building across the street and open the window that faces the park. I don’t care if the people in the park see me walking around naked but I know there are little boys in the apartments across the street, they don’t need to see my pasty white naked ass as I sleep. Heh.

I HATE PEOPLE!!!

Oops sorry.

So the people who made Chicago want to do Damn Yankees.

I am more than halfway through ‘Getting Over Jack Wagner’. It’s scary how much the main character is like me in regards to music. At one point she bitches about a guy she’s on a date with not having a musical preference. I am like that! And I don’t understand people who don’t listen to music. What’s wrong with them!?

It’s muggy in the office. I had to go to the other side of the floor to attach some paperwork for a co-worker who is out because she can’t handle being pregnant and I was freezing my ass off. Then I walk back over to my desk and I am sweating. Stupid AC. Hello our parent company is GE, can’t they do anything about that!?

Stace

June 24th 2003

A quick word to the New YorK Yankees: You were playing the Devil Rays last night. Assclowns. You’re supposed to beat them.

Another quick word to Mother Nature: THANK YOU!!!!

Okay that’s two words.

Last night I had to call the cops because the little shits in my neighborhood were blowing up M80s underneath cars and setting off alarms. It went on for 2 hours. By 11:00 I had had enough and so had the boys. Poor Henry’s tail was puffed and his eyes wide open most of the night. Aw my boo boo.

The cops actually sent a car and the noise stopped soon after.

So I take back my rant from the other day, the 34th precinct isn’t that bad. Yeah ok. I’m sure things will be more than crazy when the fourth of July approaches.

OH!!! This is a funny story. Even funnier if you know my dad. I stayed over my parents’ house on Sunday night and halfway through the trip back to my apartment Monday morning I realized I had left my wallet and cell phone on their kitchen table. So my dad gave me $20 to borrow for yesterday. This morning he comes into the city to drop my wallet off for me and he says, ‘Do you have the $20?’ I looked at him like he had ten heads because I was hoping he was joking. I realized he wasn’t when he got snippy with me and said, ‘You have no money?’ I answered, ‘My wallet was at your house this whole time and so was my ATM card.’ So he says, ‘Oh then I’ll get it from you next week.’ TWENTY DOLLARS!!! This man owes me $2000 and he is bitching at me because I borrowed twenty dollars. And I only spent $3 of it. I was going to give him the $17 and he refused it. I swear to God the man is insane.

Good lord.

Then people wonder why I am the way I am. My dad’s a FREAK. It’s hereditary. I am doomed!

Maybe I am better off being single with no chance of meeting anyone, falling in love with anyone or having children with anyone.

Oh Mr. X and if I don’t talk to you all day yesterday and most of today and I am non responsive to your IM’s then that means I am still pissed off at you because of Friday. Assclown.

I don’t understand people sometimes.

I was outside twelve minutes and I got sunburn. This is what happens when you go away for a week, get tan, come back and there are only 5 sunny days out of the 24 you’ve been home.

I let the boys sleep with me last night. It was okay. They’re not as hyper as they were two months ago but Henry scratched me a lot in my sleep. I woke up with lots of holes in my feet. Little shit.

I removed my pictures from my high dresser so they could lie on it. Henry knocked the pendulum off of my wall clock in the middle of the night. Oy.

Jack was so cute. He is sooooo cuddly. I can’t take it. He loves sleeping nose to nose with me. AW!

Jesus I feel like Kathie Lee, always talking about my babies.

Am I the only one who hopes her son is gay?

Heh.

Thanks to my best friend I am having daydreams about Rob Thomas from Matchbox Twenty and Gale Harold from Queer As Folk making out.

I saw Giambi’s commercial last night during that stupid game. One word: GRRRRRR. It’s such a bad commercial but it’s so good.

Man I hate being the middle of sticky situations. And I always am.

Oy.

It’s hard being friends with people who are on either end of a break up.

I vow to stay every weekend for the next month and if I don’t, I am bringing my boys with me wherever I go.

Okay I am going to go. I am sending orders down for someone who is out this week. Thrill me.

But she’s nice so I’ll do it happily or at least act like it.

Stace

June 22nd 2003

Now I know why today’s date was sticking out in my head. My mom reminded me earlier that it would have been my grandparent’s 73rd anniversary. Aw.

My grandpa would have been 101 this year if he were still alive.

Since my parents don’t have HBO I have to wait until tomorrow to see Sex and the City. But that’s okay.

I have to watch Queer As Folk though. It’s a must see situation.

Scarface is on right now. Al Pacino’s accent is HILARIOUS in this movie.

23 minutes until Queer starts. Woo hoo! But Boo hoo…I hate season finales when the hiatuses are 9 months long! Damn it Showtime, you’re killing me.

Fashizzle my dizzle. I want to watch Snoop dog’s show. I’m sure I’ll catch a repeat.

Raul Mondesi SUCKS. At least I think he does. I had the Yankee game on and they had bases loaded with one out…and I said, “Mondesi will probably ground into a double play.” Assclown. And now it’s a commercial so I am assuming he fucked up. But hey at least the Red Sox lost 5-0.

I was right. ASSHOLE.

Okay gotta go.

QUEER!!!!!!

Stace

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