If I do not win them over with my adorableness, I will destroy them with my calculating cruelty.
Having been everything from a socialist to an anarchist at one point or another, I know how my opposition thinks.
I will never try to convince the world of my eternal righteousness in a Texas accent.
Aiko will be too busy with her cake to foment rebellion. (Filing Cabinet: I am so sorry but it's the only foolproof way to keep her out of my way)
I will follow Wilson's Fourteen Points.
I will not violate any human rights, so no one will have any legitimate complaints against my regime.
I really am that cute.
I am always right.
I truly believe that the clothing makes the conquest. My minions' uniforms will inspire self-confidence, being tailored to their individual body types, and will give them the motivation to succeed. They will also be in warm, cheerful colors and will radiate friendliness and customer service, setting the public at ease.
No one really fears invasion by a country called The Commune of the Lollypop (formerly known as Greenland before being converted into my first base of operations).
Eve is my left-hand person.
Tony Blair will be in charge of propaganda.
Who wouldn't want to live in a world in which the capital is Upperdicker?
Most of the world will not even realize I am taking over.
Muwhahahahahahahahaha!