Leaving the demons

By

THEA VAN DOORN 

As we drove home at dusk .I could feel the tension in the air and I knew if I said but a few words the tension would get worse. I had experienced such a, terrific party that night and discovered that even as an old age pensioner, I could have a lot of fun. I just could not sit in a corner and shrivel away with the rest of the people sitting on the sidelines.

First my feet started to jiggle to the music. My body and my soul started to feel the beat of the drums. Before I knew it, I was dancing, moving, and feeling good. I had not known such an accelerating feeling for a long time. How could I have been so foolish as to think that the movement of dancing and going with the flow of the music was only for the young. I felt that 30 years had been washed of my shoulders, from then on I was of the chair and moving. I most certainly enjoyed the moments.

We only have the moments, and we must grab a hold of them. As we where driving I looked up towards the sky, then I saw the eagle in flight almost as soon as it was pointed out to me that the sky looked threatening. I did not say a word but kept my eyes fixed upon the clouds, that was when I saw what had been happening to me and my live, I had been influence by the way other people wanted me to be.

The sky did not seem ugly or in any way threatening to me, as a matter of fact it looked very calm and interesting. It the sky was a pearl gray with a lot of fluffy clouds. My imagination started to work and I drifted right into the clouds .I saw myself floating among the clouds. There was this big bird, a falcon trying to get his claws into me .I was to smart for the falcon, and I had the power to turn myself into a fluffy cloud. I felt good because he did not get his hooks into me. I did feel the distance between my body, my spirit and the soul, and once more I felt a tremendous power coming over me, I pulled myself together and became one whole again. I turned to look where the falcon was and here I was towering high above him. The falcon with his sharp claws could not imagine what had happen to his prey. I felt I was disappearing true the dark heavy cloud over head all without an effort on my part. There I was, I had landed on a very soft cloud. It felt so good to be in this peaceful place, so I contemplated to stay a while, yet sadness came over me

I felt the tears well up in my soul. Wait a minute these tears I saw, where tears than had been there a very long time. I had to let them go. They the tears, had been stored to long in my soul for the wasted moments .Why hang on to them, those warm salty tears of sadness, I set them free .It felt so good they did their job and cleaned part of my soul and spirit. Thank God for tears.

I loved the man beside me driving and staring at the road; I had spent some 40 Years of my life with him. Al those years I had been trying to reach his soul. No this was absolutely not the time to give up trying to reach his spirit and to have some peace and love, some special moments .I just had to keep on trying

I became aware of the longing this lonely feeling the tears that reached my soul, I just could not give up the moments. If there was the slight change of becoming the soul mates I so desperately wanted to be for him and I think he wanted to be for me, he just did not quit know how to go about it.

I noticed how quit and peaceful my surroundings where, it almost felt scary to experience such peace.

My life had been turmoil. Many times I felt like a fighting spirit looking for love to give to this man, it was him I had chosen to be with, to spent my days my moments with, why would he not let me touch his soul. Was he afraid to get hurt some more? I did know he had been hurt a lot in his days on this planet.

Was it my mission in life to teach a hurt soul love and understanding? I have to teach, that some one really could give him love, that he should not close doors to his soul.

I looked up towards the sky then I saw above me where two beautiful angels, so very lovely .As they came towards me they send a beam of inner peace to my soul. AS they landed by my side, I felt very safe as they swooshed me up not saying a word they lifted me until I felt weightless. These lovely beings helped me trough the next dark cloud. One of them whispered, I really don’t know if it was the right or the one on the left," Come my child we will help you trough the clouds, we will guide you."

It was incredible; there I was again in an empty silent space. Some one had taken me by the hand, I was not afraid any more, I heard it over and over, the whisper that said, "we will help you trough the storm, just lean on me." I did with a trusting heart. I knew that my guardian angels would never leave my side. The angels would be there for me as long as I lived.

Again I looked around, there was a shark with a very hungry look, and I just stood silent .I felt strength coming on. I watched in amazement and at the same time somewhat fearful, was no need to be afraid knew the angels where quietly at my side. The shark did not see me; I was relieved and at the same time ashamed that I had not trusted my guardian angels. Then I heard, "We forgive you my child." Next there was absolute silence did not feel that they had left me, although I could not see them, I knew they where there.

My eyes drifted back to the sky, there was yet another dark cloud hanging above me, I just had to make it trough that cloud. Thea you can do it, I told myself. Something or some one I could not see or feel helped me to the other side of the cloud. As I was safely on the other side, my soul, my soul my spirit turned into a dove. I was gliding along and feeling nothing but peace. Then suddenly, there he was Satan, snapping at my tail. Satan nearly had me in his grip, so I put all my strength into flying high. I left Satan in the dust. Peace, beautiful peace. I sailed true the sky, feeling that there was no end to my peace in this placid atmosphere. The silence the tranquility, no one scolding me, or calling me names, just peace, blessed peace. I enjoyed flying high slipping trough all the danger Of the cruel places I had been.

I looked of in the distance and saw the dragon grumbling to him self he could not find what he was looking for. No one wanted to have a fire-spitting contest with him. He, the dragon was on his own to grumble. He had to face what he thought to be a tough old world. I did not look back any more I just kept very peacefully flying sailing swooping weightlessly. I was home. From now on, I promised myself I must leave the demons behind and enjoy the moment. You are welcome to enjoy the moments with me I shall fly on my own seeking the peace and happiness I deserve.