September 23rd,2000
Considering I don't speak very much about my family here I thought now would be a good time than any. My sister is my hero, she is the wind beneath my wings and she knows that, that could explain one of the reasons why she tries to act like my mom. Ever since she lost her job because of stuipid reasons she hasn't tried to be my mom, maybe because she feels that I've got it better than she does! Is she ever wrong! Lets me tell you all about her. She is 27 years old, she is in my eyes beautiful. She has the most deadly brown eyes you have ever seen. My mom used to say that the song "Brown eyed girl" was for her, and it certainly was! She is happily married for 4 years(I was a brides maid), and she's been with her husband for 12 years (I envy that)! They own their own house, car and everything! BUT they worked very hard to get every thing they own! She is a very hard worker and has a very passionate heart! When I was little her and I had to share a bedroom and even though we got on each others nerves it was real fun! I'll never forget those times!! Then we had our own rooms because my family moved into a house. At this time we got closer, we did every thing together when she wasn't with *W* (her husband/boyfriend at the time). Almost every night we would go up to the store and bring back lots and lots of junk food then we would sit in her bedroom on the floor on a blanket, play card games and eat junkfood. We would laugh until we were balling! Then of course we'd get in trouble for being so noisy! LOL! But we had so much fun! Then the year after she graduated she decided it was time to move out and move in with *W*, I was crushed! My best friend was moving out. *frown* I almost begged her not to move out! So she moved out but I tried my best to keep in touch with her, and then she got new friends and we became distant. I moved out on my own finally and thought things would change now because I had more freedom, but nothing changed the distance only got further away because of me this time. I started to get into differnt crowds and doing nothing but partying. Things stayed that way for a while. She always warned me about different people and guys but she wasn't too slow on trying to set me up on blind dates once I started to come around again. I believe she did it because I was "hanging around" with a lesbian and of course she got caution about that. Rumors started to fly about me being a lesbian! Now my sister is far from homophobic but it would be a hard thing to swallow that your little sister could possibly be a lesbian. By this time she had her own house and I was living on my own again (after moving back home and in with a boyfriend). We were both trying to spend more time together but it wasn't easy considering I was once again leading a different life style (I had joined a group called Narcotics Anoymous for my drug problem) and she was going out getting drunk a lot and always with other people. I was hurt by her way of life for the longest time, her husband was even getting tired of it. Can't say I didn't blame him! She wrote me a letter that I found in my mail box one day and she explained that she missed me and missed the way things used to be, I too missed the way things used to be. That day I cried like a baby! So we once again tried to make up for lost time. When our mama went into the hospital for that reason we became real close. We realized that if we didn't take this time to become close again we wouldn't have anyone. I pushed everyone out of my life except for family because no one wanted to be there for me when it came to my mom. She did the same. It seemed like everyone left us really. But we became extremely close at this time! After awhile I believe the novelity wore off because she went her separted way again and so did I. We struggled so a long time to gather back our togetherness. Now at this time I had a lesbian living with me, who became my girlfriend, and I'm damn sure my sister knew what was going on, but she didn't want to admit that her sister is a bi-sexual. I started to party again and that brought us together again. We started going out partying together. The girlfriend left and I was alone. And as the story goes we once again became distant again! It wasn't until my mother past away that we became close again, and then we knew that we had no one else but each other for support and love (aside from her husband and my dad). We had a bond this time that was never to be broken, it was sealed with trust,honesty, and lots of love. We finally admitted to each other that we were each other's best friends, and that we've both messed up through out the years but now is as good time as any to make the necessary changes! We made a commitment to each other and promised to keep it. And now we are about 1000 miles from each other and we might get to see each other about once a year. I miss her dearly but now I know that we will never be distant relationship wise. The 1000 miles might keep us apart with spending time together but our hearts will always be combined.