Wahey chaps, back to the grand old days of the Raj and Sunset Empire I say, just been to Singapore and now want to be reincarnated as Stamford Raffles (he nicked/stole/negociated it from the malays) in whenever it was he discovered it. This may prove difficult, combining reincarnation with time travel, but anything can happen if you belive hard enough (fnarr) enough they say. Buffy the Vampire Slayer hasn't woken me up with a serious case of THE HORN (as in in the mood for IT (sex not computing) and not a case of bovine scalp protrusions) yet, but I am sure she just needs time. And my keys. And my photo (suitably doctored of course). And lots of other stuff. Hmmm. Well, been and done the colonial heritage bit, and sampled the ex-pat lifestyle by staying with a couple I met in Laos. I know what a condominium is. And its not a rubber jonny, nor does it bear any resemblance to one. The result of this happily accepted invitation was that YOUR MAN IN ASIA was sat hairy assed on a sofa far too good for the likes of him watching BBC World, eating corn flakes and real milk, with brown unsweetened bread toasted to perfection, all washed down with a cup of Twinings earl grey. Absolute bliss. Shame about the 5.5 months of rice to come. I can't remember when I last emailed you, but its not so exciting in Malaysia (on religious grounds, having fun may lead to a carnal interest in the opposite sex and we can't have that can we?), but I saw a cool parade in Melaka the other night. Had just scoffed me fud and was walking back to sleep, but the streets were filled with peeps, so I stayed to watch, and it turned out to be a Buddhist parade for Wesak day (birth, attaining enlightenment and death of the big B), which was filled with colourful floats and processions of Chinese kids. One of the floats, however, was playing the song "I love to go a wandering" (I think thats the title) and launched into the "fa la leeee, fa la laaaaa fa la ah ha ha ha" bit whereupon all I could think of was an orange cagoul-clad Paul Whitehouse gallumphing up hill and down dale in the fast show. The spectators in the street seemed to be nonplussed and irritated at the big pasty shaved monkey laughing at their sacred parade, but hey.... Oh yeah, Malaysia and Singapore have seriously dented the feasability of my "Export a girlie from Burma" plan as some of the Chinese gals are sooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute. Yes indeed. Oh lordy. Right, off to Jakarta tomorrow on the wonderful Garuda Indonesia Airlines (resist the temptation to yell "Garuuuuuuuuuuuudaaahh in a capitain caveman style) to start my Indonesian adventure. OOOOHHHanyhoo will try to avoid strife and stay safe, ttfn will mail when poss darlins (to those who mail back) J (capital this time as I'm in a good mood)

For a little more detailed description of his ports of call, scroll down and click the links below.

Singapore: Stats Physical Economy History J's Milestones Melaka Other links of interest: Caitlin has also been to Singapore James' Profile.