I walked down the gloomy street,all of it seeming unfamiliar. The street lights were starting to turn on,that helped a little.I walked to where it seemed to be a little house.A little red light flashed,and then it disappeared.I turned around and walked to a park,a park I might have visited before.It was a large open area,more like the woods,yes,that's what it was.The woods.
Trees were every where,some trees covered the star lighted night.As I walked deeper into the woods,a dark shawdow appeared. Possibly a man's shawdow.I smelled his odorness, more like a garbage odor.The flower fresh air turned into a strong stiff odor.As he walked closer,I felt a rush of fear run through my body.I took it as a sign and started running,except it was no use.I was getting nowhere. It was as if I was to scared to move,out of nowhere there was a big thunder roar.......
*********
A loud thunder roar crashed outside.It started pouring outside my window,I heard the rain falling on the roof.I touched my face,I had been sweating.It must have been a dream.And I-I took the one less traveled by,and that has made all the difference.That was the sign I had read in my dream.It was from a poem,"The Road not Taken", by Robert Frost.It was there for a reason,now I remember. That cold, gloomy night wasn't a dream, it was my reality. That sign was there to warn me, but it didn't mean anything at the time. It was just a quote on a board posted on a store window.
People said I was the quiet type,but when I came out of my shell,I was myself.Some said I was beautiful,some boys called me gorgeous.I didn't think so.I was like every other girl.I had long brown wavy hair,chestnut brown eyes,and peach colored skin.My sisters told me my skin was silky, soft as can be.Others described me as "girl with everything". I guess meaning my figure. Some girls told me I was lucky to be pretty,and having the figure I had.I just said I was like every other girl,I was different from anybody.
I got up quietly,hoping not to disturb my sister,Monica.I quietly walked to my window and looked outside.The rain made our lawn glisten,like glitter was all over it.A light was on in the next house.A figure was walking back and forth.It stopped and looked out it's window.I went back,out of sight hoping the figure hadn't seen me.The preson stared out his window for a while,then went back to walking back and forth. I carefully closed my black blinds and went back to my bed.
It was my first week in this tiny town of Tulsa.I was actually born here and remembered nothing what so ever,but a memory that I keeps popping in my head proves I have been here before.I reconized some of the places,some which I probably visited when I was younger.I tried so hard to remember,it was no use.At a young age of 12,I was raped.I survived,of course,but everything was damaged.My memory was ruined,I couldn't remember a lot of stuff,but I knew things. My memory wasn't seriously damaged,just the little stuff I couldn't remember.But big stuff like finding my way around town still hadn't come back. I knew I had come back to this place when I was 14. Well ya,it was after my rape.I had been Taylor's friend for a week,being his friend when his rough time hit.I left him, on all days,I left him to wallow in his on self-pity.I could have stayed,but I had to leave. I was afraid,even afraid of making friends.
I tried so hard thinking of where these places in my dream were from.I lied in my bed,quietly crying.I didn't want to wake up Monica.She was a year older than me,and my oldest sister,Hope,was our guardian.From what I heard,my parents died in some sort of accident.I cried at the thought that I couldn't remember who were my friends, who were complete strangers,and who my enemies were.Everything was new to me.My sisters had told me that I've been to this small town before.I want to believe them,really I do. Uhh!Only if I could remember.
I turned over to my side and turned my little RCA radio on.It was 5AM.Rain was pouring on my window,and the darkness was no company. Nothing else would get me to sleep. I put my headphones on and put the radio station on to B96,it was a Chicago radio station.It always played my fave songs,music got me through the day without throwing a nervous breakdown.It was the ending of the song "Slide" by the Goo Goo Dolls. Some rap song came on,kinda made me want to puke.I plugged in the headphones and slipped them on.I put the song on to "Ever Lonely" by this group called Hanson.
I shut the CD off and turned it back to the radio station, "Uninvited" came on by Alanis Morisette.I loved that song, it was the best.I didn't really listen to the lyrics,but the title made me think about my life.Everything to me was "uninvited".I was a loner,I kept to myself.For amusement,I would write songs and listen to music.I was in my room half the day,and the other half usually with my sisters.We would have little talks,we'd share our secrets. Only,I never had any secrets.I never really had a life!
During our period of a week here,I have made new friends. Isaac,the eldest,Taylor,and the youngest of the boys, Zac. He was a hyper happy child.They all were.Having no fears,and nothing really ever happened to them.They told me they were in the group, Hanson,and my sisters told me I was a fan of their music.I don't remember,but I do like their music now. I really don't talk to them,I've only seen them walking outside or playing with their little siblings.So,I really can't call them friends.They are my neighbors.I never go outside,so the only time I actualy talked to them is when they came over to introduce themselves.They seem like great people,probably won't get to know them,but they're okay in my book.
They don't know anything about my life,and my sisters.They
probably will never know.It's hard to tell somebody you
just barely know,maybe later.....
© 1997 raindrops28@webtv.net
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