**~~I was such a fool,I couldn't see it,just how good you were to me.You confessed your love,undying devotion,I confessed my need to be free.And now I'm left,with all this pain,I only got myself to blame....~~** "I drive myself Crazy"-*N Sync
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"Watch out!!"Somebody yelled as I was pushed out of the speeding cars way.I covered my face as I hit the asphalt floor with a loud bang."Owwww..."I yelled.I opened my eyes carefully,facing dozens of eyes staring back at me.
"Are you alright?"Somebody ask.'Am I alright?I almost got killed,and my back is hurting like hell,ya I'm alright' I thought with sarcasm."I'm okay, just need to get somewhere." I replied,as I tried getting up,but failed.I was to weak and fraile.
"Miss,don't move.An ambulance should be here soon." A voice called out,as I slowly drifted off to sleep.I couldn't move my back it felt as if it were broken.It was impossible,I would have lost feeling in my legs.My head just pounded like a terrible migrane.The pain would end soon,it would end soon.
My eyes slowly and carefully opened to see a white ceiling, and the smell of a....hospital.Uhhh,I hated hospitals.I was lying on probably the most hardest bed,and had a needle through my hand, suplying some see through white stuff.
"Miss,are you alright?" Dr.Harris asked.
"Hmmm?Oh,ya,I'm okay.I just have a terrible headache.My I ask something?...Why am I here??"I asked as I tried to remeber what had just happened.All I remember is running out of somebodys room crying,then running out of the house.
"Well Alyssa Chasez(Cha-zay),it seems you were in a cars path,and you didn't see.You'll do fine,only,you damaged part of your membrane.You will experience some memory loss,but it should return.It could be days,weeks, years,or maybe never." Dr.Harris said as she flipped through some of my records.She was my doctor who helped me through my tough times.She was a doctor,but also a psyciatrist.She was my doctor when I came here for the first time,as a patient.
"Dr.Harris,may I ask when I will be leaving?" I asked as I straightened out on the stiff bed.I adjusted myself and sat up straight."Alyssa,you can leave tommorrow morning.Is there anybody we can contact to tell you what has happened?" She asked.
"Yes,you can contact………… you can contact ……um ………ummm ………er……… I don't know!!!! I can't remember!!There are people I know,but no names are coming to me!!!"I began to panic.I didn't remember my friends,well,their names.
"That's okay dear.Get some rest,and by morning,you should remember." Dr.Harris said as she walked out the door,and closed it behind her.I closed my eyes, drifting off to sleep, wondering who my friends were.
"How the fuck can you do that???Thanks to Mr.Taylor,we don't have the slightest clue were Alyssa is, or even Ike. For god sakes it's almost fuckin' 4AM!!!!"Zac yelled frantically as he pushed hairs out of his face.
"Calm down!!You're going to wake up Zoe or the other kids!! For one thing,it wasn't my fault she took it seriously-"Taylor yelled.
"Oh no,it wasn't your fault!!Yelling in her face wasn't your fault at all!!!You know how she is,she's been through a lot Taylor,and you go fuck it up some more!!!"Zachary yelled at the top of his lungs and grabbed his jacket.
"If you won't go look for her,I will.You seriously don't know what happened to her.Just because of Gabriela,you yell in her face,and now she's gone.Gaby is dead Taylor,she's dead!!Alyssa has 2 dead parents and she was raped goddammit!!! You get pissed off by one girl,she has more problems then you'll fuckin' ever have!!!" Zac yelled as he slammed the living room door.Taylor was overcomed with guilt.He never knew that about Alyssa,she never told him. All those cuts,it wasn't him,it was what happened to her. You stupid ass!" Taylor scolded himself.
Zachary was walking the wet streets on probably one of the coldest nights Tulsa ever had.Winter would soon be here, another week to be exact.Alyssa could be anywhere,she could be miles from here for all I knew.Taylor never knew?I thought she told him,well,I guess not.Alyssa was one of the bestest people in the world,I just never cared about her as much.Ever since I was 8,she has always been there for me. She moved away,then I missed her.When she returned,I guess I wasn't so gaga for her.She always listened to me,always found a way to make me laugh.She was like an older sister I never had,she took place of my brothers,who were rarely there for me.Now I'm 14,and forgot about her.Now I regret all the times I shoved her off,or got into fights with her. I guess Vicky was the cause,I spent to much time with her, for god sakes,I missed Alyssa's birthday!!! I was the first person she invited,and I didn't even show up.I didn't even wish her happy birthday,or buy her something!!!
"Come on answer,ans-Hello,Mrs.Hupio(Wepio).Is Isaac there?" I asked as I twirled the cords between my fingers."Yes, hold on."She replied.I was surprised she was still up.
"Hello?"Ike asked.
"Ike,this is me Tay-" I said."I know who you are!What the fuck you want?"He asked annoyed by my call.
"It's Alyssa.She's gone,I yelled at her,and she just left crying.I didn't mean to,but she mentioned Gaby,I just got mad.Now it's fucking 4AM and she's not back!!What did I do??" Taylor yelled through the phone.
"Whoa.Well,I'll be over there in half an hour.Bye."Ike said as he hung up the phone.I hung up and ran over to the living room and grabbed a jacket,and waited for Ike on the porch stairs.
"So what you're sayin' is,Alyssa's gone 'cause you opened your fuckin' mouth,Zac's gone 'cause he was pissed,and you can't find any of them." Ike summed up.
"Ya."Was all that came out of Taylor.
"Okay,this is what we'll do.I'll go from here all the way down to Main Street,you go from here all the way up to Downtown.Then meet me at Al Rockers at 6AM."Ike said.Taylor nodded in agreement,and they went their ways.Isaac taking his red Chevrolet,and Taylor taking his black Camero.
"Morning Alyssa.As said,you are allowed to go home now.Oh, do you know you're way home?" Dr.Harris said as she remembered Alyssa's memory loss.
"Er…………… well,I do remember my way home.I just don't know who lives their………… I think I have two places to go to………… Yes!!One is…is a house were my…… sister's and I live in, and the other,the other is I think the house I ran out of. ……… Yes,yes that's the place." I said as all my memories flooded back to me.The doctor removed the needle from my hand and helped me out of the bed.She handed me my black jacket and had me sign some release papers.In ten minutes,I was out of the smelly hospital.My watch had the time of 6:02 AM.
"I'd like a cup of coffee,and a biscuit."I said as I took out some money from my pocket.Al Rockers,one of my favorite breakfast places."For here or to go?"The lady asked."For here." I replied."That will be $3.27."She said.I handed her a $5 bill and waited for change."One seventy-three is your change.Have a nice day."She said cheerfully."Same to you." I replied.I grabbed some sugar packets and cream,and then sat down.
She's nowhere.I looked everywhere,I didn't even find Zac!!" Isaac yelled.
"Likewise,just forget about the damn thing.She's probably safe in her bed,now I'm tired.Let's go."Taylor said.Ike nodded,he had heavy bags under his eyes.As they were about to exit, Taylor spotted a black Adidas coat.He knew that coat from anywhere.He stopped and examined the girl drinking the coffee.
"Umm,yes?" I asked as I looked up from my newspaper.
"Alyssa?Is that you?" Taylor asked.
"No,it's Shirley Manson...yes it's me!!What,you came back to yell at me some more?I should be goin',c ya." I said as I grabbed my coffee and went past him,only to bump into Ike.
"Alyssa,I'm sorry about that.I didn't mean to yell at you, I'm sorry." Taylor said.His bright blue eyes were faded,and were gloomy.His soft,peachy skin,was pale as a ghost.His rosy cheeks,whiter than his face.The love,and life was drained out of him.Something was happening to him,he had never been like this before.I knew it wasn't from sleep, he was always full of color,no matter what.Was it 'cause of Gaby? Was she really the cause of all this shit that was happening to Taylor?
"Who the hell can be at my door at 4 in the morning?" I asked myself as I slipped on some pants over my shorts.I ran downstairs and looked out the window.It was Taylor,what would he want at this hour of the night?
"Taylor,it's 4AM,what do you-"I cut off,Taylor's eyes were red from what seemed to be crying,but also filled with anger.
"Taylor,are you okay?" I asked.Taylor only nodded his head "no" was what he meant. What was today? June...June 17th... 17th?? Gaby,Taylor, their anniversery!!
"Come in,come in." I said as I put my arm around his shoulder and helped him inside to the couch.He was on the verge of tears,but he was choking them back,to scared to show them off to me.
"Taylor,what happened.Why are you like this??"I asked.4AM, he never came this early.
Should I tell her?She doesn't need to know what happened to Gaby. I can say she stood me up,or that she moved.No, how can she move?Gaby and Alyssa are good friends,Lyssa would know by now.She stood me up,ys,that should work.She always believes me,we never lie to eachother.Well, just for today.
"She……she stood me up.I waited for her for three hours,and she never showed!!How can she do this to me?I love her so much and she dumps me!!Eric came by and told me she never wanted to see me again!!" He yelled.
"I said I'm sorry,can't you forgive me??" Taylor yelled.I snapped out of my trance,and just shook my head.
"I……I have to go. I'll see you later.Hold up……… who's at home taking care of the kids???"I yelled.I had just remembered I was in charge of them.
"Shit! I forgot about them.We have to go now!"Taylor yelled. "Nice going.Ma will kick your ass when she sees that you two left the kids unattended." Ike warned.
"Ike,let me see your keys."I asked.He handed them to me and I took off."It's not my fault I almost got killed 'cause of Taylor."I yelled out as I drove off.Ike and Tay looked at eachother and their eyes widened.Both of them jumped into the car and dorve off after Alyssa.
"Mommy called." Avery said as she looked up from her bowl of cereal.
"She did??Oh god,what did you tell her?" I asked.
"That you two were sleeping, Ike was downstairs with the headphones on,and Zac was sleeping.She said she'd be home around 8." Avery said.I smiled and gave her a big hug.
"Thank you soo much!!You're a life saver……… speaking of Zac,did you see him??" I asked.
"Uha,he's up in the tree house…sleeping. I heard him come home like at 5 in the mornin'.He was moanin' to 'imself. He was sayin that it was his fault and that Tay don't now about you and some other stuff.Jessie is in the bathroom, Mack is sleeping,and Zoe is drinking her milk."Avery said as she dumped her cereal into the sink.
"Thank you so much Avie.You're a life saver." I said as I cleared up the table.The door opened and it was Taylor and Isaac.I quickly threw the sponge into the sink and ran out the back door.I had forgot about Zac.
"Zac,Zac,wake up!!" I said as I shook him.He opened his eyes and looked up at me.
"Wake up,you have to go to bed."I said as I smiled.He smiled and gave me a big bear hug."I thought you were gone. I went every where looking for you.I was so scared!! I'm sorry Alyssa,I 'm sorry for all the times I yelled at you and shoved you off.I'm-"
"It's okay Zac.It's okay."I said as I calmed him down.He smiled at me and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
© 1997 raindrops28@webtv.net
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