Mike pondered for months on how to even the score with Glen. But as most things go-- when you try the hardest, opportunities seem the least. As if by godsend the following Spring, we got a chance to visit Glen's Aunt and Uncle on the farm. Glen's Uncle was a stocky man, about 6 feet tall and much rounder at the waist. His crop of snow white hair twisted every direction you could imagine like in the morning when we first awaken. Only his went that way constantly no matter how often he combed it. His voice was a low baritone which caused his words to echo and command instant attention.
Glen's Aunt on the other hand was a petite woman who never said much until Glen's Uncle yelled at her to do something. Then she held her own. With a sharp, almost squeaky voice, she fortified her ground like the U.S. Marines landing on a foreign shore. Many times her curt replies were like rifleshots whizzing past his ears right back at him. Usually he just shook his head and walked away!
Let me also explain life on the farm to three city boys was a mind pondering experience by itself. There was no way you could not relate the hamburgers-- the pork chops-- the cereal-- and the milk you ate and drank everyday directly to what you saw on the farm. A vision that wasn't particularly appealing! Think about how farm life displays exactly what recycling is about in its purest form. We watched recycling firsthand decades before it become popular. The three of us almost gagged each time we talked about the manure spread over the dirt and seeds as fertilizer-- which grew the oats--which the cows ate--which in turn produced the hamburger we consumed and the milk we drank-- and then returned to the earth as cow patties to restart the cycle. Then the pigs living in pure filth-- wallowing and covering themselves in mud from snout to tail-- rolling and twisting like they were in heaven. That nasty food (anything and everything) they ate which became the food we ate as bacon and porkchops. Talk about a first class education. Breakfast, Lunch, & Supper became a quiet time for us as we eyed the food on the table with HOSTILE SUSPICION!!!!!!!!!
So the three of us spent most of our time away from the house and the animals exploring the creeks, ponds, woods and barns which spread across the 200 acre farm. To further irritate Glen, his Uncle seemed to nuture Mike just a tad more than the rest of us. I am not sure if it was the dumb look of astonishment he usually had on his face. I mean Mike often appeared like he was star gazing into outer space trying hard to replace the circumstances he found himself in, with more comforting visions of the apartments he called home.
He did however have one moment of brilliance that created a lot of anguish for Glen. I guess paybacks have a way of hanging around like toilet paper waving on treelimbs at Halloween.
It was in the morning--just after breakfast. Glen and I had already ran outside and across the yard before Mike came through the front door with Glen's Uncle. They were discussing something we couldn't quite hear; so we waved our arms and yelled for Mike to hurry, he quickly caught up and we were off for todays new adventure.
"What did Uncle Want?" Glen asked curiously as we walked along.
"Nothing much" Mike responded without expression. "He had a chore he wanted me to do if I had time today".
Glen curtly replied, "Well we ain't doing any work today. This is Sunday. What did he want you to do?".
Mike snickered to himself quietly as his brain was in full motion like a locomotive trying to meet a deadline. "Nothing much " Mike said shrugging his shoulders as if no big deal.
I found out much later Glen's Uncle had asked Mike to pull three bales of straw from the barn so the horses could easily get to their feed. Mike
conveyed his lie like the President of the United States denying his public he was having an affair.
"He wanted me to climb on the roof of the barn and do something that would be more fun than work".
"WHAT!" Glen sneered across his shoulder at Mike still slightly pissed about the whole thing.
"I'll show you when we get there. It's going to be so coooooool" was all Mike would say.
Now I have to be honest, I was even curious myself. This whole thing played out like an Agatha Christe novel and even I pondered what this new and cool thing was going to be.
I am sure we have all heard the saying "Curiosity killed the cat", well in this case, it was more like "paybacks for the wiffleball bat" from Escapade 1. But Mike was the only one who knew the plot. Glen wanted to head to the barn right away, his interest was really peaked. They reached their destination in a matter of minutes.
"Okay, now what?" Glen asked as they arrived.
"We need to pull three bales of straw into the barnyard" Mike said which Glen quickly replied
"that sounds like soooo much fun?" he sneered.
"Just wait a second" Mike's voice sounded even more excited "that's just the prelude for the big challenge".
Glen was totally under Mike's influence at this point. His curiosity was about to bust his gut. We each pulled a bale of hay from inside the barn and placed them about a 100 feet into the yard lined up horizontally like three chairs in the front role of a movie theatre.
"Now" Mike said with even more excitement in his voice, "your job should you choose to accept it" sounding like the leadin to the television series "Mission Impossible", "is to climb to the roof of this barn and pull off a roofing shingle and see how far you can fly it like a frisbee".
"Yeah Right!" Glen said.
"No, really, that's what your Uncle wanted me to do" Mike answered. "Guess he is going to replace the barnroof and wanted all the shingles from the West side removed and placed by the edge of the barnyard. But that's allright, I think it will be fun to see how far I can make them fly."
Mike found a shingle that had blown off the roof and bent over and picked it up. With a quick snap of his wrist, that shingle flew from Mike's hand like a pebble skipping across a pond.
"Cool" the other two replied.
"Help me with the ladder" Mike asked.
Before you could count to three, the ladder inside the barn was outside and leaning against the side of the building. Mike stood at the bottom looking up the rungs like he was really going on the roof, which I found out later scared him to death. He was afraid of heights. But he was even more afraid Glen would not call his bluff.
"I'm first" Glen yelled quickly relieving Mike's concern.
"No" Mike responded rapidly playing the setup to an art. "Your Uncle told me to!"
Glen loudly answered, "IT'S MY UNCLE'S PLACE".
Glen was up the ladder and onto the roof before Mike could even reply.
Those shingles came off as easy as a knife slicing butter and began flying from Glen's hands like a flock of drunk Geese desperate to return to their flying wedge! Some went to the left--some went to the right--some went up and then crash dove to the ground. There were shingles everywhere. It was like a hail storm of roofing material layering the barnyard with a shaggy carpet. We just sat in awe on those bales of hay as we marveled at the show Glen put on, several times ducking from the flying debris. Every now and then Mike would yell out
"is it my turn yet!"
and Glen would work all the harder. Glen stripped that whole West side of the barn in less than an hour. Even more amazing, when he finished he ran all the way back to the house to tell his Uncle the good deed he had done.........
Needless to say, all three of our parents were there before sundown to take us home a whole week early. That was probably best since we didn't have much to say to each other anyway. Especially Mike. I think Glen would of killed him if his Uncle hadn't held him back. As for Mike, he occasionally glanced at me and let a smirky grin cross his face....... as if a debt had been paid in full!