Ryan

The exploration of pain with Alexia is an addiction that has drawn me into the darker places of myself. It’s difficult to find a submissive prepared to explore the extremes – they are very few and far between. I’ve been involved in bdsm my entire adult life and I’m not sure that I’ve ever run across someone who truly wants and needs and is prepared to go to the kind of depths that Alexia is. She is all the more desirable because she is well educated, capable and accomplished. Her decision to follow this path was not prompted by abuse, stupidity or lack of success in the "outer" world.

On the flip side, finding a top capable of extreme emotional and physical cruelty is almost as difficult. I am privileged to know many professional and private dominas, and yet they can be surprisingly squeamish when it comes to cruelty. The politically correct phrase of "safe, sane and consensual" is forever on their lips. I have great respect for that since my own play must stay within those limits with others… but this is different. My exploration with Alexia is unique and simply cannot be fulfilled within such boundaries.

Since I work from my home, Alexia is always with me and has no regular life beyond these walls. She truly lives the 24/7 not just in the evenings, but from the moment she wakes up to the moment she goes to sleep. My "play" with her can be (and usually is) a sub-context to the entire day. This creates possibilities few master/slave relationships have for exploration. Your imagination can explore this vision better than I can describe it.

What are we looking for – what is your involvement?

So much of the answer depends on you. What are you capable of? How far do you want to go? Who are you inside? What would you do with a partner who is cruel and a slave who is willing to undergo anything at your hands - for your pleasure? To some degree, you must define your own role, to some degree, you must let me lead. We are seeking someone to become involved with, physically, emotionally, sexually, spiritually... Deep pain isn’t something you pursue in a night with a stranger, it is something that continues day after day until you are transformed by it.

The ideal true involvement is continuous and plays on a much more subtle level than the drama of a scene, and is much more insidious and profound in its effects.  It is the chemistry and interaction between us that defines the cruelty - the desire to explore anything coupled with a woman capable of giving herself completely to that exploration, wherever it leads.

I want someone to explore these possibilities with. Alexia is prepared… Alexia WANTS to be destroyed… she NEEDS to go further. She is addicted to this path. I love her very much. My commitment is to keep her and tend to her wounds. I will never throw her away or take her to this level only to have her find she is alone. Alexia is a masochist. She has higher pain tolerances that almost anyone I have met – and yet she is extremely responsive at all levels and very fun to play with. We continue to explore the areas of physical pain, but for both of us, the desire to explore emotional pain grows with each day.

Many people say the word "anything" in this context. I can’t stress enough that in this case, there truly are no defined limits. This is real. Let your imagination go to its darkest corners. What would you do in such a case? What would you explore with someone who had absolutely no taboos?