I was heading towards the shower. Ok so i was running. As i did i could see myself recreating the roll i played in elementary school as Gretel. Discarding my undies like breadcrumbs as if to find the way back to my room. I got the last thigh-high off as the water hit my back. I would like to say the shower felt relaxing, somewhat settling and very soothing. I will as soon as they scrape me off the ceiling! I was glad nobody was home, my screams pierced through the silence in a way that breaks eardrums. It was such a sunny day, how could the water possibly be this cold! Standing on the tip of my toes i tried to make myself as thin as possible to avoid the spray. I reached down and quickly threw some hot water into the mix. I looked up as if to pray and said. " please, just let me get through this, i promice i'll be a good girl." It probably was a coincidence the water heated up just then. I doubt it was anything i said, but I wasn't going to push my luck. So i looked up again and said " thank you."
The shower did wonders for me. I wrapped my hair in a towel and wiped the bathroom mirror with my hand. Through that wonderful hot mist that comes from a good shower, I saw andie again! My lips were there normal shade of pink, my skin was makeup free and the moose was out of my hair! I almost forgot why i was rushing around just fifteen minutes ago. Almost because just then i heard a knock at the front door! Grabbing a towel i wrapped it around my wet body and raced down the stairs.
I opened the front door to a very familiar yet distrort face. Tay was not used to going places on his own. His trips were always planned for him. He always had Limo's or private cars waiting for him. People to make arrangments for him and private teachers to school him. I am not trying to be critical of him. Oh contrare, he's one of the nicest guys i have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Your childhood is just different when you grow up famous.
I was planning a wicked burn Tay at the stakes kinda afternoon. To pay him back for standing me up at the airport as well as two timing his L.A. girlfriend. That was what i was planning till i saw him standing there. He looked like a lost puppy dog. What gives with guys that look that way. Why do we always seem to forgive them no matter what they did as soon as they flash us those soulful eyes? Would somebody please tell me.This was what i was thinking as i quietly sighed and helped him bring his bags in.
We entered my room and with a thud dropped the luggage in unison.Tay immediately fell face first on the bed and made a loud sigh. Now It was probably due to our friendship, or maybe my sisterly love towards him, because i was feeling very paternal right then. I sat down next to him and ran my hand over his back. He sighed so i started to rub. Well sigh might be the wrong word, a " i really like that " type of moan is a better way to put it. As i rubbed his back, i ran my hands over his shoulders trying to push the worlds baggage off them. " Shoo " i said softly while rubbing his back. " Shoo." Hearing this tay began to chuckle. Shoo was the word we used as kids to make the boogieman go away. Kids, teenagers, even grumpy old men. Somethings never change for them and are always magical. "Shoo" it seemed is ours. Tay's pout had instantly turned into a visable smile. I could see it even though his face was burried deep in my pillow. I nudged him to turn over. He slowly did revealing two rows of pearly white's as he proceeded to lay on his back. My hands followed the contour of his body as he turned, till they rested on his chest. i felt his heartbeat and sighed.
I probably could have sat like that for hours. Somehow i was at peace whenever i felt Tays heart beating. I let my body relax as i gazed into space. A cool breeze was coming in from the window so i unwrapped the towel covering my damp hair and let it fall down my back. A smile came to my lips as i slowly felt the wet ends dance across the back of my neck and tickle me. I must have been in a far away daze for i had been sitting there unbuttoning his shirt. It was habit i guess. I never did like anything between my fingers and the feel of someones skin. Tay made one of those 'guy' moans that instinctivly made me start rubbing his chest. It was a request i was happy to fulfill. I smiled from ear to ear while basking in the summer breeze. Theres something about touching another person skin thats even more intoxicating than eating chocolate.Tay was watching me, i could feel his eyes. He must have figured this was as good a time as any to ask for forgivness. For thats when i heard " sorry for this morning."
Now i consider myself a sentimental person. when the moment is right i can turn to mush faster than Jello on a hot summer day. Hell, i even cry watching Love Story with mom! What do you expect, i'm a teenager with hormones coursing through my body 24 hours a day! So when he looked up at me with those big blue eyes and started rolling those words off his silver tounge i sighed. Each word that passed his lips vibrated in my ears till i moaned. I love to sit and listen to him speak and would have for hours, until he said those four fatal words. " Sorry for this morning.". Oh how i sighed. After sixteen years i knew his thought. Just as when i sighed after he said those four fatal words, Jordan Taylor Hanson knew mine.
I felt his heartbeat quicken as i rose to straddle his muscular body. I spread my legs till i sat firmly on top of him. Feeling in complete control i arched my back, grinded my hips into him, then dug my nails deep into his chest. Tay let out a deep moan as his torso rose off the bed taking me with it. With an intense look he stared up at me while trying to grab my waist, but his arms were pinned under my legs. I arched my back again and let my nails dig deeper into his now quivering chest! Tay's head was thrashed from side to side as his hips thrust up then down. i rode him like a bronco, leaning forward and rocking with each of his strong thrusts! All the time feverishly digging my nails deeper and deeper into his flesh every time he bucked! The event climaxed with him giving one hard shudder. Then this wild stallion, now broken, said while sobbing, "i'm sorry, i'm sorry". I watched him with open eyes yet closed ears. All i heard was his earlier words resinating through my head. 'sorry for this morning'. I moved my now fully extended claws to his fleshy sides and dug in with all my might. My mind was flooded with thoughts of why i was still angry with him. Standing me up, picking up a tramp, cheating on his girlfriend. . . .I replayed each scene, remembering all of it in vivid technicolor! I wanted him to remember it too, so i dug my nails in even deeper!
This was not the first time Tay had felt my wrath. Over the years he had become quite intimate with my nails or claws as he called them. I think he knew them well enough to name each one! I do know they were intimate enough with his upper torso to find the softest most painful spots with the stealth of a ninja. I didn't feel any remorse as his body shook under mine. My attack was swift but not unexpected. He knew it was coming by the way i had sighed. He also knew not to be condocending or say things in a phony way. Like the way he just did with his apology. Who did he think i was anyway. A teeny MMMbopping groupie that swooned everytime he spoke? Now if he had meant it sincerely i would have gladly forgotten all about the airport fiasco. I think most women want to forgive the men in there lives.Why they never learned to open up and be honest with there feelings baffles me. Guys just dont get it. I wonder if they ever will!
Tay's pain threshold is low, he would never survive child bearing. I knew this by looking at my nails. I hadn't even drawn blood and he was moaning and bitching that i had ruined him for life! " Oh shush " i sneered. " I didn't even claw you there, but if you insist." I made a mocking move to scratch him down there then laughed. I dont think he thought it was funny. He did shut up and manage to lick his wounds quietly after that. I was thankful he had stopped whining but now his body was moving side to side as he performed triage on himself. I stopped inspecting my nails as his swaying was making me seasick. It was a good reason to get off him and get dressed. I was still in my bath towel and wanted to get some powder on me before i got too sticky. So i hopped off, grabbed my favorite shirt and dashed for the bathroom.
I was happy to get that towel off and slip into something a little less restrictive. Tay and i sometimes played rough and wearing only a towel put me at a disadvantage. The T-shirt was long and the cotton felt soft and cool against my skin. So what if it had a picture of the beasty boys on it. It was two dollars and the only extra large on the rack! I made those foolish hand signs the gangs use while looking in the mirror and laughed.
Now I usually brush my hair last trying to put off getting all those knots and kinks out but knew from experience that guys dont like it when you spend hours in the bathroom. I also knew Tay liked watching me paint my nails so figured i would do that while talking to him. It also avoided those nasty remarks he directed at me to cut my hair whenever i brushed it in front of him. Funny he always told me to cut my hair when his was almost as long! Oh well, at least i knew who to borrow great conditioner from if i ran out. I paused, then looking straight into the mirror said " Zac ". I giggled thinking, boy was i dumping on Tay today. The last couple of weeks dragged something awful in anticipation of his visit. I was just so glad he was finally here that it was hard to contain myself. To think I was actually having fun brushing my hair dreaming about all the neat things we would be doing this summer. Utterly Amazing! I must have ripped through all my knots in record time because before i knew it i was done. I applied some lotion to my arms and legs and threw open the bathroom door with a " TA-DA " while beaming with pride. Tay just yawned and said "what kept ya?" Talk about an anticlimax. I was strongly considering jumping on him and picking up were i had left off! Instead i let his sarcasm roll off my back and plopped down next to him.
I smiled and said "It's good to see you to" as i shook my crimson red nail polish so vigorously it made noise. Tay asked me how come the bottle sounded like a spray can! I laughed and told him there was a bead in the bottle. He tried to get a better view. " A bead?" His nose now close enough to hit while shaking the bottle. I said " yeah silly a bead " then shook the bottle with an exagerated motion to move his face out of the way. " Like why? " I tried to ignore the question by pulling my right knee to my chest and opening the bottle. He almost stopped asking me questions when the aroma from the nail polish reached his nose. I silently started brushing on the crimson while Tay watched. After my second stroke i off handedly said " if your CD's smelled like this girls would buy more ". Tay nodded and said " you got that right." Through the corner of my eye i watched him watching me paint my nails. He reminded me of a art student watching someone like Rembrant if he was around today. I wondered if the aroma was too much for him and effecting his mind. Guys weren't used to smelling this shit like we were. I giggled at that and said to myself "just say NO!" My giggling must have broken the silence for he asked me what was so funny. I said " nothing, all girls laugh when they put on polish ". I saw no reason to let him know i was ragging on him. I think he knew because he asked about that damn bead again! Then i think he tried to get to me by asking how long before i would use up all the red in the bottle! I told him it was CRIMSON not red and why did he care? Tay said, and i am quoting him now " Oh, just wanted to know so i could see that little bead" I just tucked my chin into my chest, laughed and prayed i didnt mess up my nails! Like i said, you can do your nails but not your hair around guys.
Waiting for my nails to dry, i told tay to make himself useful. I held out my arms and let my wrists go limp. He gave me a blank look. I said " blow silly " and wiggled my freshly painted nails in his face. He smiled at my request, blew only half heartly then looked at me for aproval. Knowing he was capable of doing a lot more i decided to offer up some encouragment. So I smiled and said sweetly, " less spit and more air please." With a devilish smile he took a deep breath. I watched as his shoulders straightened and his chest swelled. Tay had a healthy set of lungs literaly as well as asteticly. I was getting into watching his chest ripple as it expanded and wondered what his maximum capacity was. I silently thanked tay for leaving his shirt unbuttoned as i was definetly enjoying the view. I even enjoyed watching as Tay missed my nails completely when he exhaled. My neck was not so lucky. I laughed and told the big windbag to get me a tissue. Tay reached over and grabbed a kleenex as i raised my head. Exposing my wet neck to him i waited. He's a fast learner for unlike my nails he didn't say "what" this time before gently wiping off his spit. I'm glad because i never learned how to wiggle my neck!
" I am glad you let me come here this year. I really wanted to spend some time alone with you. When you stay at my house we dont really have that." Lifting his head, looking soulfully into my eyes, he continued. " I really want to apologize for this morning. Standing you up like that was unthinkable. Especially after being apart for nine months." His voice cracked a little as he said. " I almost booked a flight back home rather than face you. I knew i couldn't do that so i swollowed my pride and here i am. A strong Friendship withstands, understands and forgives stupidity." As my eyes swelled i started taking shorter breaths.Those really short ones that come before my usual waterworks display. Tay gazed into my watery eyes as the coin landed face up and I started to cry. He wiped the first few tears from my face and continued speaking, " I dont know if its because we're getting older and just know more but when Zoe was born and i held her, i started to understand what feeling were. There was a emotional tug and a feeling of loss when i had to hand her back. Thats how i feel every time you and i part. " He was wiping tears from my face as he spoke but losing the battle. There was so many tears, some streaked down my cheeks faster than he could brush them away. His words were wonderful but they sure didnt help stop my plumbing problem! I sobbed away while listening, " I always knew what hate and fear was. I even understood friendship. I haven't found a girlfriend i truly love yet. Love is something ....." His voices trailed off into silence as i reached out and hugged him. I needed to hold him as i couldn't speak through the sobs. I laid my head on his shoulders and slipped my arms under his. Reaching up i felt his broad shoulders that always made me feel safe, so safe that I lost myself in them. I wanted to show him just how much i cared about our friendship. So i squeezed him as tightly as i could. I wanted him to know i felt the same as him. So i burried my head in the softness of his neck and kissed him gently. He silently wrapped his hands around me and i hoped i didn't ruin his momentum. Guys can be fickle when it comes to emotions. Tay was a guy but right now, Short of shooting him in the foot i dont think i could have stopped him. For just then he broke the silence with " Love is something i feel towards my parents" He paused here and then said each name slowly and distinctly. " Zoe, Jessica, Zac, Mac, Avie, and you Andie!" Then, probably to add a little levity to a heavy line he said " Sometimes even Ike." Now this was not a rehearsed speach.This was from his heart. Tay was not one to get gushy with me. We had grown up always playing pranks on each other. He and his brothers had always treated me as just one of the guys. Needless to say, I was speachless. Even when the tears let way to dry sobs. So we just sat there and hugged each other in silence.
Tays shoulder was wet. I know, i made it that way. As i lifted my head to find his remaining dry shoulder our faces brushed. I felt his breath and started sobbing again. Poor tay, he must have thought i was trying to wash his shirt one tear at a time! I didn't, i couldn't, i was drained both emotionaly and physicaly. My body shuddered as i let out a low sob. Tay ran his hand over my back saying softly " are you ok?" I just nodded. I did not want to tell him i was way past ok. I dont think guys will ever understand our emotions. How we can cry and get ourselves so worked up till we're a wreak and be happy. As tay held me in his arms i was happy, when he started to rock me like a baby i started sobbing again and was very happy!
I finally regained my composure, what was left of it. I hugged tay and let out a final sigh. The distinctive kind that lets the human towel you've used for the last half hour know its over. Tay sensed the change and shifted me around a bit. As if i had been cutting off his circulation and he had not bothered to tell me. I dried my eyes on his collar and sat up. I stared into his eyes and smiled. He smiled back, but with that look that said "Im glad it was good for you but i dont get it." I giggled and just said "Thank you" to his unsaid remark. Now he really didnt get it, but he did keep smiling. He was holding me up with his hands. I rested mine on his arms and leaned back. He had strong hands and i felt safe in them. Tilting my head i leaned back as far as i could. I raised my head to ask if he had called home yet and saw his eyes were wandering. Like down my body and said "TAY." I must have startled him. I felt my body almost slip from his grip. Instinctivly i grabbed his arms and started laughing. I could see tay was a little embarrassed but he laughed too. Boys i thought, they are all the same. Ya gotta even keep the good ones on a leash!
Thats when i knew the moment was over.
