train goes by every nite the same old time & he, same ol man, sits looking into a rosary which reads "i told you so" while rocking back & forth thinking about his eldest son, Hambone, who's in jail for life-buying beer for the kids & murdering the grocer with a pocket comb-this same old man, with nothing but a bathtub full of memories consisting of: a few Baby Huey for President buttons-a deck of cards with the aces missing-some empty deodorant bottle -a pamphlet of egyptian slogans-three pant legs that dont match & a hollow lynch rope ...sits in a candy wrapper chair muttering day in court-day in court-i'll get it yet my day in court-a dapper young gentleman with chapped lips rubbed them on the old man's neck today-the little old man is planning revenge just as the same old time train shakes his whistler's mother painting off the wall & it gooses him to ...day in court-i'll get it yet-yesterday was not so good either-a fox left him in a clump of mud & some little pest let him have it right in the kisser with a mixture of bamboo, barley & rotten ice cream-there he sits wishing he could get thru to the president-the little old man's bowels ache so he opens the window to breathe some good fresh air-he inhales deeply-there is a line full of wet underwear-used tires-dirty bed sheets-hats-chicken feathers an old watermelon-paper plates & some other garments-Johnny drumming wind-an indian, passing thru on his way to St. louis, is standing neath the old man's window "amazing" he says as he looks up & sees all this stuff on the clothes line suddenly get sucked into a hole ...next day, the rent collector comes to get the rent-finds that the old man he disappeared & that the room's full of garbage-the lady who owns the clothesline, she reports theft to the robbery department-"all my valuables have been stolen"-she mutters to the inspector-the train still goes by at the same old time & Johnny drumming wind, he gets picked up for vagrancy -the rent collector looks around-steals a broken cooco "i think i'll give it to my wife" he says-his wife, who is 5 feet tall & wears a fez, & who, at the minute, by weird circumstance, is riding by on that same old time train-all all, not much happens in chicago
i'm not saying that books are good or bad, but i dont think you've ever had the chance to find out for yourself what there all about-ok, so you used to get B's in the ivanhoe tests & A minuses in the silas marners ...then you wonder why you flunked the hamlet exams-yeah well that's because one hoe & one lass do not make a spear the same way two wrongs do not make a throng-now that you've been thru life, why dont you try again ...you could start with a telephone book wonder woman-or perhaps catcher in the rye-there all the same & everybody has their hat on backwards thru the stories see you at the docks helpfully yours, Sir Cringe