1. Modern Geetaa

This is what Bhagavaan Shree Krishn wants to tell you -

Hey .......(Employee),
Agar incentive naheen milaa, Buraa Huaa
Salary cut rahee hai, yeh bhee Buraa Huaa
Extra shift karanee Padegee, voh bhee buree hogee.

Par Hey Arjun,
Tum pichhalaa incentive na milne kaa paschaataap bilkul na karo,
Tum agle incentive kee bhee chintaa na karo,
Bus apanee salary main santusht raho....

Mujhe yeh bataao, ki Tumhaaree pocket se kyaa gayaa, Jo rote ho?
Jo aaya thaa vah sab to ooper kee income thee ;-)

Tum jab naheen the, tabhee bhee company chal rahee thee
Aur, Tum jab naheen hoge, tabhee bhee company chalegee.

So Hey Dhananjaya,
Tum Ne aisaa kaun saa response diyaa, Jo tumhaaraa thaa,
Sab kuch to 'cut-copy-paste' kaa khel thaa.

Tum koee experience leker naheen aaye the..
Jo experience milaa, vah tumako yaheen aa kar milaa...
Jo support tum ne diyaa company ke liye...
Degree lekar aaye the, experience lekar chale.

Jo system aaj tumhaaraa hai...
Vah kal kisee aur kaa thaa....
Kal kisi aur ka hogaa, or parson kisee aur kaa hogaa..
Tum ise apnaa samajh kar kyon magan ho rahe ho?

Hey Kaunteya,
Yahee tumhaaree tension kaa kaaran hai.
"Kyo vyarth chintaa karte ho? kis se vyarth darte ho?
Kaun tumhe nikaal saktaa hai......"

'Policy change' to company kaa rule hai.
Aur Jise tum policy change kahte ho na, vahee to trick hai.
"Ek pal main tum Best performer or Hero no.1 ya Super Star ban jaate ho,
Aur Doosre hee pal main tum worst performer aur apnaa target achieve naheen kar paate ho."

Appraisal, incentive etc etc ko Man se hataa do, Vichaar se mitaa do. . .
Phir company tumhaaree hai or tum company ke.

Hey Arjun,
Na yeh increment vageyrah tumhaare liye hain, na tum inke kabhee the.
Parantu job tumhaaree secure hai :-) Phir tum Tension kyon lete ho........?
Tum apne aap ko company ko arpit kar do.
Yahee sabse bada golden rule hai.
Jo Is golden rule ko jaanta hai,
vah review, Incentive, recession ,retirement aadi se sada ke liye muqt ho jaata hai...

2. Kashmeer Belongs to Whom?

An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly that made the world community smile....

A representative from India began his speech like this : 'Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Rishi Kashyap of Kashmeer, after whom this Kashmeer is named. When he struck a rock and it brought forth water, he thought, "What a good opportunity to have a bath." So he removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water. When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Paakistaanee had stolen them."

The Paakistaanee representative jumped up furiously and shouted, "What are you talking about? The Paakistaanees weren't there then."

The Indian representative smiled and said, "And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech - And they say Kashmeer belongs to them........ ......... JAI HIND :)

3. Rules That India Lives by.....

1.The Other Side Law:
If my side of the road has a traffic jam, then I can start driving on the wrong side of the road, and all incoming cars will be rerouted via Meerut.

2. The No Queue Rule:
If there is a queue of many people, no one will notice me sneaking into the front as long as I am looking the other way.

3. The Mind Over Matter Law:
If a red light is not working, four cars from different directions can easily pass through one another..

4. The Auto Axiom:
If I indicate which way I am going to turn my vehicle, it is an information security leak.

5. The In Spit Of Thing:
The more I lean out of my car or bus, and the harder I spit, the stronger the roads become.

6. The Cinema Hall Fact:
If I get a call on my mobile phone, the film automatically goes into pause mode.

7. The Brotherhood Law:
If I want to win an argument, I need only to repeatedly suggest to the other person that I have illicit relations with his sister.

8. The Baraat/ Marriage Right:
When I'm on the road to marriage, all the roads in the city belong to me. To ME.

9. The Heart Of Things:
If I open enough buttons on my shirt, the pretty girl at the bus stop can see through my mal-formed chest into the depths of my soul.

10. The Name Game:
It is very important for the driver behind me to memorize the nicknames of my children.

11. Parking Up The Wrong Tree:
When I double-park my car, the road automatically widens so that the traffic is not affected.

12. The Chill Bill Move:
When I park and block someone else's car I am giving him a chance to pause, relax, chill and take a few moments off from his rushed day.

13. The Ogling Stare:
If you don't ogle and drool at every hot Chick that passes by, you're gay. 

14. The Bus Law:
If I stop my bus at the correct place near the bus stop, the city will explode and blow into 6 million pieces.

15. The VIP Rule:
There are only 3 important persons in this city - Me, I, and Myself.

4. Five Surgeons

Once five surgeons from big cities of the USA were discussing who made the best patient to operate upon.

The surgeon from New York, said - "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second surgeon, from Chicago, responded, "Yeah, Maybe, but you should have tried electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon, from Dallas, said, "No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles chimed in: "You know, I like construction workers... Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over."

But the fifth surgeon, from Washington, DC, shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable.