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___ We hit mile 2500 just as we were leaving the campground in Holt, Florida.
It was a cold, cold day. We rode on to DeFuniak Springs. This town has a remarkable circular lake in the middle of it. The lake formed when a large meteor hit way back when. The lake is lined with many beautiful houses. They were all decorated lovingly for Christmas. It was a horribly cold day so we bloated ourselves at an all you can eat Chinese food buffet. We ate so much of their food, they may go out of business now.
Defuniak springs! We rode on to Ponce de Leon. I maintain that it is pronounced Pon Say. Della loves to pronounce it as Pants. I think she does it just to spite me. So, we arrived in Pants de Lee On. There was supposed to be a campground. Big joke. There was also supposed to be a motel. There was. The motel was for sale because the roof had collapsed. Sweet. But we found another motel and stayed there. We used the time to thaw our feet and catch up on four episodes of Law and Order. Goong-Goong! That’s the phonetic way to spell the Law and Order theme thing. Watch the show, you’ll see what I mean.
Della, warm, good.
A artsy fartsy fence picture
Some friendly horses we met during our ride.
The clouds on this particular day were dramatic. We rode from Pants de Lee On to Marianna. The road got crowded and we had trouble finding a good place to stay for the night, so we just crawled off into the woods, covered ourselves with leaves, and hit the hay.
The view from our tent as we camped by the road near Marianna. We woke up and headed off towards Lake Seminole. Along the way we stopped off to call some folks. I was horrified to see that the pay phone ear piece was covered in a jelly substance. I tasted it and realized that it was not grape jelly, but was in fact Vaseline. I then recalled that I had coated my poor chapped frozen cold ears with Vaseline that morning to keep them a bit warm and attached to my head. I pity the fool who uses that pay phone next. We stayed at a great little RV park right on Lake Seminole. We could look across the water into Georgia. We looked for them Duke boys, but didn’t see them.
Some more pretty clouds.
Della reading as we camped beside Lake Seminole. Notice that the book is upside down.
A pretty vine covered tree on the shore of Lake Seminole.
A beautiful black and white sunset. The clouds are rather ghostly don’t you think?
This is one of my favorite pictures of all times. It clearly shows how Della likes to sneak up on me and scare me. Isn’t she SPOOKY!!!
Here Della is a moment later. Being SPOOKY again.
Here’s a gorgeous Oak tree resting on the shores of Lake Seminole. Far in the background, is Jimmy Carter. Very far. The next morning we headed out and soon crossed into the Eastern Time Zone. There we saw a bridge, which apparently was built using money intended for just the Eastern Time Zone. The bridge ended mid span, right at the border between the times zones. Weird.
Don’t drive too fast over any bridges in Florida. You may be surprised. From there we attempted to ride in to Tallahassee to visit my good buddy Jeb. We didn’t quite make it that day though. We passed through Chattahoochee, and then Gretna. Gretna is a dump. Chattahoochee is nice. Anyway, we approached Tallahassee on some busy crowded roads and we were fighting large hills and a head wind. To sum it up, we ran out of steam and camped by the side of the road near Midway. It rained that night but for once, we stayed relatively dry with our large tarp covering the tent as well as half an acre of land. We made our own scrabble game using cut up mac n’ cheese boxes for pieces. The next day we rode in to Tallahassee. Della liked the town, but I was put off by the four switchblades we found lying at the side of the road near the prison. Picky me. We spent some time touring the capital. At one point, a duty filled officer confronted us about our bicycles. Apparently we had parked them too close to the capital and they were being destroyed by the bomb squad as a routine precaution.
No! That’s not Jeb Bush! That’s Della doing her famous impersonation of Jeb Bush! Among the displays in the capital was a do it yourself report on the Governor’s speech. Della wowed everyone in the room with her report on the governor’s new initiative to forbid anyone under 88 from driving on the roads in Florida.
Move over Wolf Blitzer.
No news report is complete without someone impersonating the way Billy Idol dances. We were forbidden from camping in the campground in town. Lord knows, no one in their right mind would camp in a tent these days. RVs ONLY!!! That’s the rule. We were rejected at one RV park. We briefly considered pitching our tent inside this gigantic inflatable snowman that someone had erected in front of their RV, but we decided to keep moving.
Can you find Della and Robert’s tent? Neither could anyone else. We camped by the side of the road again somewhere before Monticello. The next morning was cold. We were surprised it was cold. Especially after so many warm days! Not. We warmed up soon enough and then ran in to a brand new friend.
Della poses for a picture in the cold morning. Who’s that handsome man reflected in her glasses? It’s not David Hasselhoff, it’s just me.
Our new friend, Brad Hoover. He had just set out heading across country, but going the other way. He was planning on meeting up with his sister in Pensacola in a few days and completing the trip with her. He expects to be in San Diego by the end of January, which makes us a couple of total wimps. Ah well. Visit his adventure at www.bradhoover.com. I had a pair of wet socks hanging from my bag. Contrasted with Brad’s brand new bike gloves and freshly ironed hooded sweatshirt, we must have looked like a couple of vagabonds. We wished him luck and headed off to the Suwanee River. It was a long ride that day, and we arrived at the river just at sunset, making for some beautiful pictures. If ever I had imagined how pretty the Suwanee River would look, I guess I would have somehow thought of these pictures.
Looks warm and cozy.
Beautiful colors along the Suwanee.
A couple of Cypress growing along the banks of the Suwanee.
Which way is up? The reflection of a couple of Cypress growing.
We were enchanted by the view along the river’s edge. We stayed the night at Suwanee River State Park. The next morning we took a look around and talked a bit with a small group who had just completed paddling canoes for seventy miles along the Suwanee. They looked tired and cold, but I bet it was a beautiful trip. From there we rode through Live Oak, sister city to Dead Oak. We then pulled in to Lake City and got lazy. You see, McDonalds uses mind controlling sound waves to lure bicyclist in. So we ate there. We then got less ambitious and stopped a moment later at a motel located by a movie theater. We had to stop and see Lord of the Rings. So we did. We stayed a couple days and enjoyed heat, Law and Order, and the movies.
Della enjoying our cheap motel room. When we finally got off our duffs again, we headed off to Jacksonville. This was a difficult ride. Traffic is always hard to deal with in a civil fashion. I managed to find a big plastic flexible flag thing on the road and stuck it on my handlebars so cars would be forced to give us a couple feet of clearance. To enforce the point, I tied a large rock to the end of the stick. Everytime someone hit the stick, I’d yell, ‘We have a winner!’ No one broke their windshield, but several tried their hardest. The flag served us well, but didn’t score us any friends. Everytime someone would honk at us and yell the ‘F’ word, Della would yell back, ‘Merry Christmas!’ I think the irony was lost on most Floridians. As often happens on crappy riding days, I didn’t take any pictures for fear for my life. Speaking of fear for my life, we also passed three prison this day! Fun! We spent the night in Jacksonville at a motel. It wasn’t cheap but it was a long day and that was all we could do. Ah well. The next morning we headed south to St. Augustine. We followed the A1A down the coast. To celebrate hitting the Atlantic Ocean, we ate at McDonalds. Darn their mind controlling sound waves! We also were displeased today about riding conditions. Again, we used the flag. But a friendly neighborhood servant of public safety, a cop, pulled us over to inform us in a non-friendly fashion that if someone drove into us as a result of the flag and scratched the paint on their car, he would have to write us a ticket. Excellent, if someone hits us and kills us, then we get a ticket! I hope this cop can fill out the old ticket form quickly so he can hand it to me before I die by the side of the road like so many armadillos before me. I can’t imagine the paperwork he’d have to go through to book a dead man for not paying a traffic fine. Welcome to Florida! Ain’t never heard o no bicycle here. You must be a couple o hippies. Can we go home now? This state sucks my ass.
A very weary and tired Della and Robert pose in front of a HUGE St. Augustine sign. We camped out at Anastacia State Park for the night. I was none to pleased with a bunch of punk teenagers who were throwing a raging kegger in the park. Come 1:30 AM I got up and asked them nicely to be quiet so I could sleep. I’m proud to say that I managed to shout the ‘F’ word three times in ONE sentence at them. I think they thought I was insane and they quieted down. The next morning we toured the Alligator Farm and Zoo. We saw all 23 species of crocodilians. We also met Maximo. He’s a big boy. We also enjoyed the animal shows and got to pet and hold a baby alligator.
Here’s the big man himself, Maximo!
Here’s Zorro. A real cutie who talks and sings non stop.
Here’s a lazy gator. They grow roots when they don’t move.
Here’s what it looks like when you throw a hand full of gerbils to a bunch of hungry crocs.
Here’s another beautiful singing and talking bird.
I’d hate to have this crocodile as my mom. She looks hungry.
This is what gators looks like at the north pole.
Della holding a baby gator. Isn’t that sweet? They really have beautiful soft skin.
It took forever to get this gator to hold it’s mouth open like this, but what a funny picture! Della was glad he didn’t sneeze! She almost lost her head.
Maximo with his girlfirend Sidney.
This is as close as you want to get to a gator this size.
This is what gators look like when they gossip. Then again, it’s pretty much what they always look like.
Here’s a pretty sand dune out by the Atlantic Ocean. We’re glad we made it safe and sound. Thank you to everyone who helped us along the way. And for all the jerks out there who ran us off the road, we hope that all your children are born naked!!!
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