My Life On Pern

Angel stared out the window at the Dragons perching on the fire Heights. Their skins glittered in the sunlite; Bronze, Brown, Blue, and Green. Her mind was wandering again; it always seemed to when she watched the giant beasts gathering on the Heights. But they were so beutiful. These were from Benden, she had heard her father telling Garis. She sighed, she loved to see Dragons, but Dragons were so hard to find nowadays. It was only from Benden, where Dragons still existed. The Great Weyr of Benden was the last place where the Dragons dwelled. And the only way Angel saw Dragons was because they came to the HarperHall.

"Hey Angel," a voice called behind her, "What are you doing?"

"I'm looking at the Dragons, Papa,?" Angel said quietly, as her eyes moved along the skyline, she sighed again. Angel turned to look at the voice, she saw her father talking to Garis, she loved him, he was very good to her, but being the LordHolder of Fort was something that kept him from his Angel. She turned back to the window and the Heights.

He watched her stare out of the window at the overhead Dragons. Angel was just like her mother, dreamy and beautiful, with long auburn hair and silent grey eyes. That was how Groghe fell in love with Angel's mother, staring into those eyes. His eyes misted over; briefly, as he took a long look at the one thing left of his late wife. It was hard for him to think of her, though gone for many turns.

Now, with his second wife there was nothing like what had attracted him as Angella. Michaela was the marriage of convenience. She bore him a son that was to inherit Fort after he past on, but there was a problem, Angel. As the eldest child she was the one to inherit Fort, not Michaela's son. It was Groghe's father that insisted that Groghe marry again, in order to have a son to inherant the throne of Pern. It was too much for Groghe, but he had to comply, or he would lost Fort. So, aside from that, there was nothing that Groghe held in his heart for Michaela, she was just there for show, though she seemed too eager to love Angel, whose education she personally took on, which GRoghe took to be Michaela's honest love for the child.

Here he was now watching his Angel now, watching her Dragons visiting the HarperHall. "Angel! Angel, where are you Child?" a loud voice echoed down the hallway. "Angel, its time for your lesson." Michaela was always on time for Angel's lesson, Angel wasn't. "Come, Angel, it's time for your lesson."

Angel turned to look at Michaela and then turned back to 'her' Dragons. A huge sigh came from her and she got up to follow Michaela, though her feet moved like they were stuck in mud. She stopped at her father and looked up, he was watching the Dragons now, not even watching Angel, she sighed, but he was so engrossed in the Dragons.

"That's a good girl, now come along," said Michaela. Angel kept watching her father as he watched the Dragons, not noticing Michaela reaching for her, pushing her hair as she headed for the door, GRoghe's eyes on the Dragons, thinking of Angel.

Angel sat staring at Michaela, what Groghe failed to see was what happened after they turn to go down to the lesson room. Michaela stopped and slapped her across the face with enough force to knock her down, but only succeeded in making Angel sway a little. This was only a sliver of what Angel really learned in her lessons, she learned how to not feel it when Michaela hit her and to shut off her hearing when Michaela would scream at her. It had been hard in the beginning, Angel knew that she couldn't tell anyone of this, because nobody would believe her, certainly no he father. He wouldn't belief his daughter over his loyal wife, it had happened before, Angel had growth accostom to her father ignoring her abuse.

The abuse was blocked out; like the time Michaela tried to burn her fingers in a candle, when she had gotten an answer wrong, or the time Michaela hit Angel with a wooden staff, because Angel was being impudent to Michaela. But most Michaela wanted her son to inherit Fort, not Angel, so that was why she was so cruel.

The first time Angel was hurt she returned to her room and cried all night, but when she told her father and Michaela denied it, she realized she couldn't say anything to anybody. So, she tuned it all out until it was nothing but an inconvenience to her. The one person she should have told, she never talked to because he was never around, always working or doing something with Michaela at a Gather.

So, another 'lesson' went by and Angel found herself back in her room staring out the window at the remaining Dragons on the Heights. Dragons are never put through things like this, she thought, they never hurt other Dragons. That was something she knew. Then she started to think about HarperHall, where the Dragonmen went. Now there was a place where no one was miserable and where life was peaceful. Where Michaela didn't lived. Why can't I go there? She thought.

Her mind was set, I have to go. I have to leave, before Michaela kills me. It's bound to happen, Father doesn't know what's going on, he won't realize what Michaela has done. I have to leave, I have to go to HarperHall...they give sanctuary there, I know they will.

Angel took some of her drudge's clothing, from the kitchen stores; Maybe they'll let me touch one of them? In the disguise of a drudge Angel snuck down the Fort roadway, down pass the gate and out of the main Fort complex.

Angel remembered her father talking to the new MasterHarper, Maybe, she thought, I could live in the HarperHall and that way I could see Dragons more often. She knew there was no way she could ever be a Dragonrider, though her hear swelled at the thought.

Angel found herself among the kitchen staff at the HarperHall. Dusty from her trek acroos the lawn, it was very dry and there was much dust that covered her clothing, thus making her appear more drudge-like. Angel had careful taken down her hair before entering the Hall, and mussed it up as best she could, though it still looked very clean, compared to the other drudges she saw running about.

In the kitchen caverns, at one end she saw one of the headwomen, at least that who Angel thought it was, standing by one of the fireplaces. From what she could gather, by the way the woman was standing she had a quiet dignity.

"Excuse me," Angel said timidly, as she stepped closer to the woman. She was hungry, very hungry, since she hadn't eaten since well before she left Fort. Her eyes followed the woma, who hadn't heard her.

"There you are, Silvina. I have been looking for you," a booming voice said. "I was wondering if you had any of those extraordinary bubbly pies," a tall man appeared, he was the one with the booming voice.

"Robinton! Not until dinner! I have so much to take care of right now, because two of the drudges are taken ill and another has gone into labour," she breathed hard, turning, "And dinner is no where's near being done," her long greying brown hair brushed past Robinton. "If you want something to eat, please go look in the storeroom for something. I don't have the time."

"Silvina, I came to you because you make the best bubbly pies that I know," he smiled a gentle smile at the woman.

Silvina only smiled. "Oh you!" she said genly punching the man in the arm, blushing. "There on the table is a plate of meatrolls, help yourself." As she pointed to the table, Silvina finally noticed Angel. "Oh, Child, what are you doing down here?"

Angel was caught off guard and became very quiet. "What do you want?" Robinton asked with a feathery voice. His eyes touched Angel's own; a liquidy hazel-green stare matched her own.

"I'm...I'm hungry and...and...and," she started to stutter. Silvina put her arm around Angel, Angel jerked back, surprised by the soft touch., "I need a place to stay," and not knowing what else to say, "I heard that the HarperHall always takes people in." Robinton and Silvina looked at each other; their eyes twinkled, almost as they were talking to each other, but not saying anything Angel could hear.

"So, you need a place to stay?" asked Robinton. Angel nodded slowly, but said no more. Robinton looked at Silvina then at Angel, who looked like she was not in the best of shape, but still looked well cared for, though she was dirty and in drudge's clothing, but Robinto noticed several bruises on her arms. So, Silvina put out her hand and Angel slowly and carefully took a hold of it. Silivina lead her up the stairs, leaving Robinton to watch them travel upwards.

"So, why did you come to HarperHall?" Silvina asked, as if she already knew what Angel was going to say. "There must be a reason."

Angel seemed reluctant to talk. She didn't want to tell too much, she didn't want to go back, she couldn't, but what could she say, "I want to be a Harper, but my father wouldn't let me?" which wasn't all a lie.

"Is that why you left?" asked Silvina.

"Um...yes Ma'am, and because..."

"Because, what?"

"Because," she didn't know what to do, "Because I can't live there. Nobody seems to know that I exist. They ignore me...but here I...I think I would have a chance" she stopped again.

"Ahh, I see," Silvina smiled as she glanced at the bruises on Angel's arm, she had seen them too. "Well, you are welcome here, to stay as long as you like. And if you like, I can talk to Master Robinton about lessons. If that is what you would like?"

Angel nodded slowly at first, but then a grin formed as a wall of emotion started to show itself, but she still held it in. "Here's your room, I'll be right back with some food. Surprising," she whispered under her breath, "You don't look half starved. I'll be right back," she paused.

"My name is Angel."

"I'll be right back, Angel. My name is Silvina," and she smiled.

Angel looked around the room, she couldn't believe it. She didn't have to hide anymore, she didn't have to lose herself to Michaela's cruellnes. There would be no more fearful night when Michaela would come looking for her...wanting to beat to Thread's end. Angel breathed deeply, "Thank-you!" she murmured, and at that she began to explore her rooms, humming lightly. Her window showed an extended view of the grounds, Angel could see much activity, people hauling wood, the chorus singing on aan open plain, the music dancing in her ears. She started to follow the melody with her own voice, not realizing that she was singing that loud.

Silvina was true to her words. She not only brought some food back, but the food arrived with the MasterHarper of Pern, the tall man with the hazel-green eyes and the booming voice. He was grinning at Angel as he walked through the door "So, Angel, I heard you just now, singing with the Sebell's chorus, eh? Your voice, it's like the distance humming of Dragons! And now you want to be a harper?" he said grinning.

"That's good, Angel." Robinton stood tall in front of Angel; "You have improved greatly." Angel blushed, as she remembered the first compliment that the MasterHarper gave her, "Your voice, Angel, its like the distant humming of Dragons."

"Why don't you take a break. It's such a nice day, you go out, and," he stopped, "There may be a Dragon or two out by the Heights. F'lar, the new Weyrleader of Benden has something to talk to me about, so you can go up and visit Mnementh," he said winking.

Angel's face lit up and she looked at the MasterHarper, she kept staring at him for the longest time, speaking without words and he heard them, but didn't say anything back, she headed out of the room, "I won't take too long, I'll be right back, I promise." Robinton watched her run down the stairs and up to the Heights. Menolly entered. His eyes were on Angel every moment, as her auburn hair waved in the wind, until Menolly motioned to Robinton.

"She's a very talented young woman, surprising how she ended up here," he mumbled to himself more than Menolly.

"I know, MasterHarper."

"Menolly, do you remember when you first came here?"

"Yes."

"Well, Angel reminds me of you, with her passion for Dragons. I thought that she was going to be like all those other girls I've seen come and go, but she has more of a love for the things that many young women don't have. And then there's this love for the Dragons, part of me think's she should be a Dragonrider. Do you see how she loves them?"

"Yes, MasterHarper," Menolly said quietly, smiling, she paused, "Master, do you like her?"

"What do you mean? Yes, I do," smiling at the window.

Menolly glanced at the window, "That's what I thought. You just seem to have this longing for something and every time Angel has a lesson, you are the most happiest afterwards."

"Good afternoon, MasterHarper."

"Good afternoon, Angel. Today we are going to work on some new material." He watched her walked into the room, the way her hips swung, seemed to dazzle him, her eyes matching his, those beautiful grey eyes. "Angel, I find the title MasterHarper a little intimidating, sometimes." She only smiled and continued to watch him, eyes alomst glued to him. Her eyes seeming to talk to him, and he just listened, waiting until she finished.

"Angel," he finally said aloud. "Today, sing to me 'The Sonata for Sea-Green Eyes,'" eyes watching her.

"But Master Robinton, I don't know that one."

"Well now, Angel, I think it's time to learn." Robinton leaned over and kissed her. "And please call me Robinton, my dear."

Robinton made love to Angel that night, and on the wind could be heard the Sonata for Sea-Green Eyes. "You must have loved her immensely, to compose such a piece, it so passionate."

"Yes, I did, but that was in the past. I also wrote it for the woman I love!" and he smiled at her. The moonlite licked at Angel's breast and Robinton brushed his tongue against her pearly skin, as he professed what he felt in his heart to her flesh.

He grabbed her shoulders with his strong hands. His golden flesh glistened with sweat and his breath became harder, more rough, yet his touch was still as gentle as the first time he touched her. Her skin was equally glistened with sweat, "Robinton, I love you," Angel whispered.

"I know," and he smiled his soft smile. And in that moment he stopped, "Angel, I don't think," but Angel wouldn't let him finish.

"Shhh, Robinton! You say that you love me, Ihear that, there's nothing to keep me from you, my life belongs here. Do you love me? Answer me! I must know if what we have done is woprth it."

"Yes!"

"Then there's nothing wrong," Robinton's eyes widened, glowing green, "there's nothing to say, but,"

"Will you be mine, Angel?"

"Oh yes, Robinton!" Angel leaned back to expose her breasts; the round sacks bounced gently as Robinton kissed them. "Just promise me you'll always love me."

"I promise!" And she leaned down to kiss his awaiting lips. Their sweat mingled in passion. Their love unending.

Angel looked down on Robinton, so much had changed since she had first come to the HarperHall, three years ago. That was to be the last night in HarperHall, because F'nor was On Search, and Angel found herself a candidate for Dragonrider. Canth had said it himself.

F'nor, the tall one in the corner. Her mind speaks to me.

"Are you sure, Canth" She is a little older than the normal candidate," as F'nor watched Angel standing in the corner watch F'nor and Canth.

Yes, her mind speaks to me. She is one to Impress.

There she stood, on the burning hot sands, not even bothered by the heat, watching and waiting. All of her dreams were coming true. She had gotten away from Michaela and Fort, where she was only the eldest daughter of Lord Groghe.

At the HarperHall she became an apprentice harper, found a man to love her. And now, the biggest dream coming true, standing here on the hatching grounds at Benden. She had a chance to be a Dragonrider! To have a Dragon, a green Dragon, or if she were incredibly lucky a Golden Queen.

"Oh please, oh please, let one Dragon Impress me!" Angel whispered over and over.

There was a crack and a unanimous gasp from the audience and another crack. One of the eggs rocked slowly to it's own music. "Oh please, oh please," Angel kept saying.

Suddenly out popped a little brown head, darting back and forth, "Aeoith!" screamed a boy with sandy brown hair from Ista. Angel's eyes were wide as another egg cracked and rocked on it's edge.

"Oh please, oh please!" Another brown appeared for a boy from Lemos, and then there were two blues for Southern and Ruatha. "Oh please, oh please," Angel kept repeating with her eyes closed, until her head started to hum. In that moment Angel looked up and saw a little Bronze Dragon breaking free from it's shell and waddling over to her.

A'gel! It's me, Tyrsith! the soft, smooth voice said.

"A'gel?" she tasted the name on her lips. "But it was a Bronze! Why? A girl can't Impress a Bronze!"

A'gel! It doesn't matter Tyrsith said, I love you!

Everyone stared at A'gel and Tyrsith, but one, and he was standing nearest to the hatching grounds, smiling, beaming.

"How can this be, a girl Impressing a bronze!" a voice shouted. "And a girl that is my daughter!" Groghe stood out in front of the crowd. Robinton glanced from Groghe to Angel. Suddenly it clicked, that's why Angel came to HarperHall and why her story didn't make sense; she was Groghe's eldest daughter. He remembered Groghe asking him up to Fort, and telling him his daughter was missing. Now it made sense, sort of, why did she leave? He saw Groghe heading down to the hatching grounds. "Angel, you can't Impress this bronze!"

"But, Papa," she stopped, "Wait! I have already and besides there's no place for me at Fort anymore!"

"Angel, you?re the eldest child. Fort will be yours, you belong there."

"No!" Angel screamed and Tyrsith shirked. No, and you want to know why I left. It was her," and A'gel pointed to Michaela, who now seemed to get smaller and whose eyes were wide with surprise. "She fully intends to have her son succeed you, and as I see it, I couldn't either, no women has ever had Fort. Whether I'm the eldest or the true hier nobody want's me to have Fort, and at this point i don't want it," she stopped. Robinton looked at her. "Her son can have it! I was never wanted and nobody was going to give it to me, even you couldn't, cause GrandFsther didn't want a girl as a Lord." Groghe stared at A'gel, "Besides my name is not Angel, it's A'gel, Papa!"

"Angel," A'gel turned away, "A'gel, I won't let that happen"

"No, Papa. I can't come back, I have Tyrsith now."

But it's a Bronze!"

"The Dragon chose!" exclaimed F'nor, "My Canth said she would Impress." At this Canth's eyes glowed golden with pride.

"F'nor is right!' said another voice. A'gel smiled when she saw Robinton walk up to her father, "The Dragon chooses who it wants as a mate and I think Tyrsith has chosen well. A'gel has been a student of mine for several years now, and I can't see a better person for the job." Robinton smiled at A'gel.

'Papa, Master Robinton is right, if you can't accept me for who I am, then you have no business here!"

I'm hungry!

"Yes, Tyrsith, I?m going to feed you now."

As A'gel walked away Robinton said to Groghe, "You've got to let her go, Groghe, she's grown up. Remember how you told me how you couldn't wait to see A'gel grow up, well here is that moment. Besides after alll this I think it's better to let things rest, like I always says,'Let sleeping Dragons lie.'" Groghe just watched A'gel walk away.

Later in her small weyr, Robinton came to visit. "Congratulations, A'gel!"

"Thank-you, Robinton," she kissed him and her voice wavered and a tear started to form, "I can't come back to the HarperHall either, can I. My place is here." She began to cry.

"A'gel, please don't cry. I know this, but there is nothing that can come between us. I will always love you, no matter where we are, together or separate." He leaned down and kissed her firmly, "Now get some sleep, Luv, you'll need the energy in the next several months and just think you're free from the life opf a Lady at Fort," he teased her. Winking at her, he walked out of her weyr and off to the landing grounds where Mnementh was waiting.

That night, A'gel cried herself to sleep, but they were not tears of sadness, they were tears of happiness at what Robinton had said.

***

A'gel had to leave, after Impressing Tyrsith in Benden, had been relocated to Ista. She was only here for a visit, because she had training and weyr duty to attend to. But like Robinton said, he still loved her and every chance she had she would come down to HarperHall, or he came to Ista.

"I told you that I would always love you, A'gel, I still mean it," as he kissed her again outside her weyr, Tyrsith was snoring softly. "I'll see you again, I promise Luv!" he said softly into her ear, nuzzling it.

"Robinton! I?m pregnant!"

"What!"

"I'm pregnant with your child!"

He stopped for a moment, "But how? I didn't think it could happen!"

"It has!" A'gel smiled, rubbing her belly though nothing was showing yet. I went to Mira for some stomach pains I was having, and then she asked me if I had bled yet, that didn't occur to me. I hadn't in a month, i was late. Oh, Robinton" and A'gel hugged him.

Robinton smiled and picked her up in his arms, "That's great," he seemed more aware. His hazel-green eyes glowed with pride, "that's great!" He was so happy; he would have a child again, maybe this time it would work. "I promise, you'll be the happiest ever, A'gel. YOu'll be able to move back to the Hall," smiling Robinton danced around the room, but stopped suddenly, hold his chest, "ah, getting old, I guess...too much fun," he laughed at himself, though his eyes wrinkled with thoughts.

"Ragalia! Make sure she doesn't eat anything! Only let her blood," someone cried.

Kazith was getting ready to fly her first mating flight. The bronze Dragons were ready, including Tyrsith, though A'gel hung back, afraid. She didn't think Tyrsith would actually fly or catch Kazith, but the thought scared her. A female Bronzerider was one thing, but a female Weyrleader was something else. It just wasn't possible, was it? There had never been any female bronzeriders, but now that was different. Besides what about Robinton, if Tyrsith flew, would he still be hers, how could A'gel have two? Did love run that strong? Not only that, but A'gel was still pregnant, the other bronzeriders stared at her and glowered, but it was too late, Kazith rose into the air. The bronzes including Tyrsith followed.

A'gel closed her eyes, "Please don't let it be me, please. I can't let myself give in to the passion, that'll stop Tysith."

It was too late; she felt hands on her and hot skin, legs wrapping around her. "Ragalia!" it was a warm feeling.

"A'gel!" Ragalia screamed.

Heated passion erupted as hands entwined and legs encircled. It was done, A'gel was the new Weyrleader.

Robinton came to visit and bring his congratulations, A'gel was worried. What is he going to think? After all this, she couldn't have it easy. Why? she thought.

"It doesn't matter, A'gel, I still have you. I love you." That night was the last night they made love.

Robinton was sick and had to leave early the next morning. F'nor transported him to Cove Hold, his personal residence that was built for him, since Sebell took over as MasterHarper of Pern. A'gel wanted to visit him, but she had no time and she couldn't travel far in between as her pregnancy was in it's later stages. He wrote to her, songs and poem of his love, and how he would come up to Ista, as so as he was better; and she wrote back about her cocern and love for him. and waiting for Robinton to come north again, until one day, there were two visitors for the Weyrleader.

Sebell and Menolly stood waiting outside, sad whispers on their lips.

"No! It can't be!? A'gel looked at Sebell and Menolly, "He can't be dead! He said he loved me!" Sebell just looked at A'gel and Menolly held her. She was wracked with sobs. "He said he would always be with me."

"You knew he was ill, that he was sick. It was just his time. Shards!" said Sebell, "I don't like losing him either, but..."

"You don't get it, he?ll never see his child now." A'gel sobbed harder. Ragalia stood by, "I loved him!" A'gel screamed, "I loved him, and he left me, like Kasia left him."

"We know you did, that why we're telling you first, before all of Pern hears. And he did love you! Did you know he wanted to marry you? But because you became a Dragonrider he didn't want to take your dream away," Sebell said quietly, as Menolly looked on.

A'gel sobbed and Ragalia came over and held her shoulders to slow the sobs down. "The funeral is going to be at Landing, if you don't mind coming? Robinton would've wanted you there."

"Of course," and with the tears still fresh, A'gel smiled that Robinton smile, weakly, "I guess I still have part of him with me," as she rubbed her swollen belly. "Robinton will always be with me."

Over looking Cove Hold, after the birth of her daughter, Kessa, A'gel came down here to bid a final farewell to Robinton and to show him their daughter, he desevred that most of all.

"Robinton, I have always loved you, from the moment I saw you in HarperHall 'til now and forever will I love you. If I can say one thing it is this; you are the only one who understood my loves well enough to see ME, though my family couln't or didn't. It was all because of my stepmother, Michaela that made me leave Fort for the HarperHall, and my father couldn't see this, until it was too late, of course I was a Dragonrider by then, but I think that's the best reason I know, because I met you. I love you, Robinton!'

The sun sets and the three Dawn Sisters shine down on Pern.

-------------------------------------------------------------
A story that I told at Perkins (so time ago) of an alternate history to Anne McCaffrey's Pern. It's also an adaptation of the Pern world. I have this immense crush on Robinton, so, I tend to want to put him, or versions of him in alot of my stories.

All written material on this page is © 2000 Cynthia Clark

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PAGE CREATED: January 30, 2000
LAST UPDATED: February 7, 2001

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