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Tramp, Tramp, Tramp.
Tramp, tramp, tramp along the highways,
We've ranged through the North in the winter, (Ooo-oo-ooh!)
Stimulate My Penis With Your Hand.
Ladies and gentlemen we present for you now the lost songs of Gilbert and Sullivan's "Mikado". These songs were censored at the time by Queen Victoria herself because of their intense political and revolutionary nature. We present them to you now, translated from the original Japanese.
Loudly bang the sounding brasses,
Can we walk hand in hand through the park?
Shall we stroll along the promenade?
Shall I babysit for your sister Gwen?
You look so lovely in your dress of pale chiffon,
Can you staple-gun my genitals to the wall?
Will you let me be your cocker-spaniel pup?
Push bamboo shoots up my arse.
Oh let me urinate upon your tongue.
Oh, let me rub up against your thigh.
Everyone!
Strip The Willow.
We lay in the streams of winter cold,
We stripped the willow in the middle of the night,
Your lips are slim like mine,
We lay in the streams of winter cold,
We stripped the willow in the middle of the night,
We stripped the willow in the middle of the night,
Summer Lovin'.
She drove by me in her sedan,
We went bowling in the arcade,
It turned colder that's where it ends,
Sunday Mornings.
Early dawnings,
Sunday mornings,
Early dawning,
Sunday mornings,
Surfing Down The Ganges.
You look so fine in your suntan,
My body is a temple,
You look so fine in your suntan,
For the lower cost it's party time,
I LOVE BEING A TURTLE!!!
You look so fine in your suntan,
Thank You.
Lose those nightmare dreads,
And thank you very much for sending us a new beginning,
And thank you very much for waking us and then forgiving,
Don't say don't to me,
Always avoid the truth,
And thank you very much for sending me a happy ending,
And thank you very much but some things are not worth mending,
And thank you very much but some things are not worth mending,
There Is Nothing Like A Dame.
There is nothing like a dame,
We feel restless We feel blue.
There are no books like a dame, and nothing looks like a dame.
Nothing else is built the same,
Stay Away From The Window.
Oh, stay away from the window my child,
This night of dark benedictions, the enormous drunk gaze of the cross,
Oh, stay away from the window my child,
Your barren causes bloodies the doors the black procession sweeps.
Oh, stay away from the window my child,
Tramp, tramp, tramp, tramp, tramp, tramp.
Bum ba da da, ba ba bum ba da da, ba bum ba ba da da, ba da bum da da.
Roam, roam, roam the world is free.
Yes the Allstars three are we,
Yes the Allstars three are we.
We've answered the call of the wild, (Eh! Come here!)
We've heard the wolf calling when nighttime was falling, (Aaaahhhh! Oh no, we could've saved it!)
And burning log fires we've fired, (You're out burning log.)
We've fought for our scalps with the Indians, (Che-boinggg!)
We've waded in blood through the mead.
We've laughed at the dangers, (A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!)
We're no longer strangers, (Hey Tim, how are you? Piss off Richard!)
Good soldiers, and lovers are we.
Tramp, tramp, tramp along the highways,
Roam, roam, roam the world is free.
Yes the Allstars three are we,
Yes the Allstars three are we.
Loudly let the trumpets bray,
Tum Tum Tara, Tum Tum Tara.
Bom Bom Babom Bom Bom Bom.
We'll whisper sweet nothings and love sonnets by the Bard.
It's a love I'll know will always last,
If we walk hand in hand through the park.
I shall buy you ice-cream treats and shield you from the sun.
My heart beats louder than Venus did for Mars,
Shall we stroll along the promenade?
I shall run round her house naked and try on her underwear.
Oh! Have I said something wrong again?
Shall I babysit for your sister Gwen?
With its tight bodice and its lovely little bows.
Oh please let me try it on,
Please dress me up in pale chiffon.
I wouldn't normally beg but I've been a trifle tense.
We could both have a ball,
If you staple-gun my genitals to the wall.
Punish me for disobedience, rub my nose in "it".
You can treat me rough (ruff, ruff),
Oh! Let me be your cocker-spaniel pup?
Beat me with piping while you wear a latex mask.
I'm so shy I dare not ask,
Will you push bamboo shoots up my arse?
Let me give you a tickle with my little golden trickle.
I will be your pee-wee chum,
If you let me urinate upon your tongue.
Let me shoot my load and spray cum into your...(fa la la la).
I will be your very steady guy,
If you let me rub up against your thigh.
Stimulate my penis with your hand.
Help me reach climax with the back of your throat.
I will be your ever-loving man,
If you stimulate my penis with your hand!
Sad with the tears of old,
And we wept for the pudding,
And we wept for the bowl,
And we cried for the emptiness that hunger brings.
And I wept for you, and you wept for me, HEY!
Weeping for the pudding,
Weeping for the bowl,
Crying for the bitterness that love can bring.
And I wept for the seesaw, you wept for the swing, HEY!
And danced around the floor.
Stripped the willow in the middle of the night,
And hammered on the hall.
Scold the child and burn the stove,
Watch tomorrow form,
Stripped the willow in the middle of the night,
And dance upon the door.
Your eyes are grey,
Your language coarse and fine.
But I could never hold you down,
Nor keep you to a vow,
But I love you more than they,
I love you more.
Weeping for the pudding,
Weeping for the bowl,
Crying for the bitterness that love can bring.
And I wept for the seesaw, you wept for the swing, HEY!
And danced around the floor.
Stripped the willow in the middle of the night,
And hammered on the hall.
Scold the child and burn the stove,
Watch tomorrow form,
Stripped the willow in the middle of the night,
And dance upon the door.
And hammer on the floor.
Stripped the willow in the middle of the night,
And danced around the hall.
Burn the child and scold the stove,
Watch tomorrow form,
Stripped the willow in the middle of the night,
And hammer on the door.
HEY!
Summer Lovin'- had me a blast,
Summer Lovin'- happened so fast.
I met a girl crazy for me,
I met a girl cute as can be.
Summer sun something's begun,
But oh for those summer nights.
Wella wella wella huh,
Tell me more, tell me more- Was it love at first sight?
Tell me more, tell me more- Did she put up a fight?
Uh-uh uh-uh uh-uh uh-uh no.
Tim: Brmmm, brmmm, brmmm...
Rich: Shut up!
She swam by me I got a cramp,
She saved my life I nearly drowned.
She showed off splashing around.
Summer days drifting away,
But oh for those summer nights.
Wella wella wella huh,
Tell me more, tell me more- Did you get very far?
Tell me more, tell me more- Like did she have a car?
Tim: Brmmm...
Rich: Tim! We got it the first time, you dickhead!
And we went strolling and we drank lemonade.
We made out under the docks,
And we stayed up 'til ten o'clock.
Summer fling don't mean a thing,
But oh for those summer nights.
Wella wella wella huh,
Tell me more, tell me more- Did it work out alright?
Tell me more, tell me more- Yeah I brought her tonight!
Paul: You brought your girlfriend? Oh well, I brought my girlfriend too, they'll finally get to meet each other.
Tim: What does she look like?
Paul: Oh, she's absolutely beautiful, mate.
Tim: She sounds like my girlfriend. Where's your girlfriend?
Tim & Paul: She's right there! What? No, that's my girlfriend.
Tim & Paul: You bitch, reowww!
So I told him,
Tim & Paul: Her!
We'd still be friends.
Paul: No way, I can't be friends with that woman. It's like having a bloody schizophrenic in the audience.
Tim: Paul, that's no way to talk to a flying nun. I can forgive Sybil no matter what she's done.
Paul: Well, if you can forgive her, then you're a bigger man than I am. You probably know that's true now, too.
But oh, for those su-hummer nighhhh... thank you!
Sunday mornings,
Brings the dawning.
It's just the restless feeling,
So close behind.
Sunday mornings.
It's all the streets you crossed not so long ago.
Watch out,
The world's behind you.
There's always someone around,
Who will fall,
It's nothing at all.
And I'm falling.
I've got a feeling,
I've got a long way to go.
Sunday mornings.
It's all the streets you crossed not so long ago.
Sunday mornings,
Sunday mornings,
Sunday mornings,
Sunday mornings,
Sunday mornings.
I tuned in to that surfing station,
Past the boats of Hindu formation,
You see Annette Fornicello was a silver wave.
Fun, fun, fun, see Gandhi take the seamen away,
Fun, fun, fun, see Gandhi take the seamen away,
Fun, fun, fun, see Gandhi take the seamen away.
Cleanse your spirit with Mahatma and Gidget,
Let's hang ten on the board,
Cause Shiva is Lord.
And your saffron yellow panties.
I'm the Marshivia cruising right by you,
Surfing, surfing, surfing down the Ganges.
Sacred and profane,
Drugs and Pepsi are out to corrupt it.
Always surf in the Lotus position,
Get wiped out - it's Lotus Interuptous.
Now big fat Buddha in his holy credo,
Said "Don't be a square boy,
Wear a turban with your speedos."
And your saffron yellow panties.
I'm the Marshivia cruising right by you,
Surfing, surfing, surfing down the Ganges.
Shaving away at the sorry line.
Ankles, neck and underarms,
Pop a can of Coke and some papa papa papa papa papadams.
And your saffron yellow panties.
I'm the Marshivia cruising right by you,
Surfing ain't so horrid when there's a spot upon your forehead.
Surfing, surfing, surfing down the Ganges,
Surfing, surfing, surfing down the Ganges,
Surfing, surfing, surfing down the Ganges,
Surfing, surfing, surfing down the Ganges.
Wake up you sleepyheads,
Come on get out of bed.
Cos you know, you know, you know, you know,
This morning's pulchritudinous.
Come on shake out the lead.
Cos we know, we know, we know, we know,
That sleeping in is important.
The future's looking bright,
And everything's alive.
The day will start again,
And the world is looking fine,
The world is looking fine.
Never say never to me,
Because I know, I know, I know, I know,
All things are possible.
Cos no-one's fireproof,
And we know, we know, we know, we know,
All things are plausible.
I'm feeling better now,
And everything is fine.
We'll save the happy ending,
For another time.
And thank you very much for sending me a happy ending,
I'm feeling better now,
And everything is fine.
We'll save the happy ending,
For another time,
For another time.
We've got sunlight on the sand,
We've got moonlight on the sea.
We've got mangoes and bananas,
You can pick right off the tree.
We've got volleyball and pingpong,
A lot of fancy games.
What ain't we got? We ain't got dames.
Nothing in the world.
There is nothing you can name that is anything like a dame.
We feel lonely and we feel grief.
We feel every kind of feeling except the feeling of relief.
We feel as hungry as the wolf did when he meet Red Riding Hood.
What don't we feel? We don't feel good.
There are no drinks like a dame, and nothing hates like a dame.
Nothing acts like a dame, or attracts like a dame.
There isn't a man here who cannot be cured by putting him near
A girlie, womanly, female, feminine dame.
Nothing in the world has a soft and wavy frame,
That is anything like the silhouette of a dame.
A girlie, womanly, female, feminine..... Is this sexist?
No mate, it's beer! Dame!
LIKE A DAME!
Watching her graceful transition the descent into his bed.
Stinking beneath her watches where he rested 'til dawn cleared the air.
This road runs off to the salt planes, this road runs to the sea.
A confession dreaming of wounds and my body is unclean.
Oh I am dappled and green from the oceans and seas,
Colored the blue of the sky, the blood of red ochre the hues of the land.
But the candle dwindles and dies.
Please stay away from the light.
Oh, stay away from the window my child,
Please stay away from the light.
Who towers over the churchyard with guards and prayers for the young.
Whose trance has fallen on damp skin, whose sweat has drowned all the graves.
A black girl from the good book, have I waited too long to be saved?
Oh she's dappled and green from the oceans and seas,
Colored the blue of the sky there's blood on the soil, a stain on the land.
The rivers now barren and dry.
Please stay away from the light.
Oh, stay away from the window my child,
Please stay away from the light.
Oh, stay away from the window my child,
Please stay away from the light.
It's petulant tail through vapors and odors reach down to the ocean and dips
Pounders through backstreets, weeping and keeping a dwindling fire well fed.
The mother of all wars, hunched and on all fours to service the stale and the dead.
The bitch is on heat with another defeat and her bloody river runs red.
Please stay away from the light.
Oh, stay away from the window my child,
Please stay away from the light.