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Goodbye Grandma.
Grandma died beneath beneath,
Beneath the Christmas tree.
Her presents were unopened,
Cards on the mantlepiece.
In flannelette pyjamas,
Oh I pray she rests in peace.
Grandma kicked the bucket,
Beneath the Christmas tree.
Good Bye grandma, goodbye and farewell.
We loved you because we were told to,
We never liked the smell.
Goodbye grandma goodbye au revior.
We'll see you up in heaven,
Drinking shandies at the bar.
She snapped the turky wishbone,
And rang her heart alarm.
Soon the ambulance would come,
And save her from harm.
But the batteries had run flat,
Grandma was left to rot.
Still batteries can be replaced,
Grandma cannot.
Grandma's dead and gone,
But the odder lingers on.
Lavender oil and smelling salts,
LSD and Dirty Bongs.
For grandma was a groover,
Beware the geriatric rave.
Because ecstasy at 85,
Is a fun way to the grave.
Once you are dead,
You can't be killed again.
We'd like to bring you back,
And give you a fitting end.
We wanted to kill you,
when we read the will.
Now we wish you were still alive,
We just received the funeral bill.
So long nanna, Don't tarry on your way,
Angels wait to carry your full bed pans away.
Good Bye granny god's waiting, don't be late.
We'll miss your goodnight kisses,
Your facial hair was great.
Goodbye goodbye goodbye.

Good Christian Man.
I'm a patchwork quilt of a man, babe,
Seems I've got too many sides.
It's the tormented struggle of each day,
Keeping all these fears locked inside.
She offered me her hand and I took it,
Yeah, I took her sweet ladies hand.
Was it the hand of evil she was offering me,
Lord I may never understand.
I may never understand.

Did you dance with me for a joke, babe?
And did your friends all laugh and sneer?
I never seen that kind of dance before,
The way you moved filled my head with fear.
Yes, it filled my head with fear.

Now, I didn't mean to tear your dress, babe,
Or to break your fine break your fine red nails.
And your priest he will not forgive me,
So I rot in the hell of this jail.
Now I know it was Satan there dancing,
But why was it me Lord, I don't understand.
To be the weapon of such vengeance,
When I'm a humble, and good Christian man.

Well I swear she sits on my bed Lord,
Though the guard says there's nobody there.
And she's always offering her hand Lord,
But I won't take it, I'm a good Christian man.
I won't take it, I'm a good Christian man.

Good Night, Sweet Prince.
Good night, sweet prince,
And may flights of angels sing you to your rest.
As the shadows move across the lake,
Dream sweet dreams until you wake.

Here's a thousand kisses for your tortured brow,
A thousand hands caress your tiny body now.
As a thousand fingers reach up for the bedroom light,
Hush my gentle child and draw the blankets tight.

Good night, sweet prince,
And may flights of angels sing you to your rest.
As the stars above us cloud the moon,
All your wishes will come true.

At the rivers edge we touched to golden gown.
The holiest of holies and the sacred vow.
A lullaby of the childhood for the chariot of the Sun.
Before the dawns first light your kingdom comes.

Good night, sweet prince,
As the angels crowd around your crib.
With a moonbeam for your nakedness,
Go to sleep for you are blessed.

Good night, sweet prince,
And may flights of angels sing you to your rest.
As the shadows move across the lake,
Dream sweet dreams until you wake.
Dream sweet dreams until you wake.
Dream sweet dreams until you wake.

Gorby The Balding Hippie.
There's a love in in Siberia and the goulash in psychedelia.
Now shut up and listen, I wanna tell you about a man.
He's got a hungry eye, he's got a five year plan.
His big birthmark looks like a zit,
It's the stab wound where the ice pick hit.
He's a king, he's a saint, he's our mate.
The man is the head of the Soviet state.
Now you know that he's talking about love and peace,
Gorby's the modern day rocking Ragnesh.

Gorby, the balding hippie,
Saffron roses, mighty pretty.
Gorby, the flower child,
About one Gorby drives me wild.

Now in the old days you couldn't get far,
In a party without old uncle Joe Stalin.
Now we know we can't fail with the loving hand of Mikhail.
If you're going to Stalingrad be sure to wear some flowers in your hair.
If there's a bustle in your Headro it's the Politburo in bell bottom flares.

Gorby, the balding hippie,
Saffron roses, mighty pretty.
Gorby, the flower child,
About one Gorby drives me wild.

Now down the Pentagon they're shaking and twisting,
While out in Moscow they're iron fisting!
Now Trotsky and Lenin are really bitching cos their hair ain't as long as old Tsar Nissen.

Gorby, the balding hippie,
Saffron roses, mighty pretty.
Gorby, the flower child,
About one Gorby drives me wild.

Gotcha!
Elvis Presely is alive and living in the Queen Mother.
Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha!
Lust crazed and underaged in teenage rampage, (EXTRA! EXTRA! Read all about shit.)
Purgatory sex orgy, bible bashing, whorish Tory, (Milords, milords, ladies. Sorry, milords!)
Public virtue, private vice, animal sacrifice, maimed stoned muslim terror, horror in the air,
And Kylie is an alien!

Transvestites in the House of Commons, Margaret Thatcher, witches coven, (I told you not to do that Dennis.)
A journey to Hell through a teenage bloodbath, (I was a teenage twelve year old.)
Tie me up and tease me, rubber please said specialist.
Athlete fails drug test, trio in a love nest,
Kylie is a brussel sprout.

Reform girls eat castrated cocker spaniels,
Minister in panty raid, schoolgirl scandal,
Pervert, vandal, impaled on the handle, bug eyed fruit loops.
We are at war with evil, we are at war with evil, we are at war with evil. Gotcha!

Here comes the Sunday Sun, the Guardian and the Truth,
To Herald the Times, delivered to me and you.
I read it all in letters ten foot tall.
The news of the newspaper writing on the toilet walls.

Siamese twins in incest torture chamber, (Hurt me, hurt my brother- Just hurt my brother.)
Herbal remedy for terminal cancer, midget doctor, cesarean catastrophe,
Test tube baby turns to black tar algae, (I didn't mean to hurt her the bastards forced me.)
Acupuncture proved to be cure for hemophilia,
Kylie has a sister - DANNII!! ARGGGHH!

Quiet student real life pantyhose serial killer, (Norman, Norman, act like a man!)
Violent sex crime and a cannibal dinner,
Dwarf and giant in a dirty sex video,
Man dies of rust after eating auto, (My best friend is a brussel sprout.)
Polygamy for larger lout..
And Kylie is a poofter and Jason is a hetero.

Boy, 5, gives birth to deformed older brother,
Maltese girl, 13, great great grandmother,
Sewerage system feeds a two-headed monster,
Medal of honour for an armless butcher.
We are at war with evil we are at war with evil. Gotcha!

Here comes the Sunday sport the news of the world.
My page three lady, she's a big, big girl.
I read it all in letters ten foot tall.
The views of the news smearing shit down toilet walls,
Through the halls, across the floor, smearing shit over us all.

Go To Church.
We should all go back to church cos they've hit the market place.
They're getting fashionable ideas from back issues of "The Face".
They've bought part shares in the pill, porn videos,
And guns, GUNS, GUNS! (I LIKE IT!!)
Old concepts are boring the designer mass is fun.
They've changed the local parishes into saunas, gyms and spas.
The Eucharist and the Convenant is now a mini-bar.
They've got a New York decorator to turn cherubs into fairies,
The body and the blood to caviar and Bloody Marys.
While the Father's a Jacuzzi and holy water's Perrier.
Cos the Vatican's found a way to make religion pay.
So if you've soiled your conviction,
Or sold your soul all you need is absolution,
Get some good Rock n Roll.

Let my people go, go, go to church - listen to the preacher.
Go to church - he'll teach you more than Fredrick Neitzsche.
Go to church - where you can let your hair hang down, down, down.
No need to be embarrassed cause there's no-one else around.

The parish priests are trying to make lay-people of your daughters,
Installing water beds as their sacrificial altars.
Parents are concerned but nothing could be safer,
Cos your girl won't get pregnant if she's chewing on the wafer.
And while I'm on the topic did I forget to mention?
The Brother Joe rides piggyback with dubious intentions.
And Amy Grant's got songs that'll have you coming in your socks,
While pre pubescent school boys try to pillage her poor-box.
The flying nun with see through frocks and sexy lingerie,
Now they've turned the sacred sacrament into a cabaret.

Let my people go, go, go to church - that's what my mother used to say
Go to church - or I will take your pay away (you will rue the day in some versions)
Go to church - where you can see all the pretty people.
If you've never been before it's the building with the steeple.

The mass was best in Latin, they never should have banned it,
It doesn't make sense now that we can understand it.
So ko uno servabo fido,
Lefevre's not a faggot.
But if he don't take care he'll get laid, he'll get laid,
He'll get laid off like Jimmy Swaggert.
Admission is free if you're certain of your fate,
If not I recommend some big cash on the plate,
Or get a damn good lawyer to change the ref's decision,
Cos I'm stuck with going to church like I'm stuck with circumcision.

Let my people go, go, go to church - cause you might find favor.
Go to church - throw your arms to the savior.
Go to church - it's getting warm and I can hear that final bell,
You'd better move your feet there's no fire escape in Hell.
Come on all you sexually impotent, drunken, drug-pushing scumbags.... Go to church!

Grapevine.
Well I bet you're wondering how I knew,
'Bout your plans to make me blue,
With some other guy you knew before,
Out of the two of guys you know I loved you more.
Took me by surprise I must say,
When I found out yesterday.

Dear God I heard it through the grapevine,
Not much longer would you be mine.
No, no I heard it through the grapevine,
And I'm just about to lose my mind,
Honey, honey, yeah.

Now I know that a man ain't supposed to cry,
But these tears I can't hold inside.
Losing you is my life you see,
Because you mean that much to me.
You could've told me yourself,
That you loved someone else.

Instead I heard it through the grapevine,
Not much longer would you be mine.
No, no I heard it through the grapevine,
And I'm just about to lose my mind,
Honey, honey, yeah.

Honey, honey I know that you're letting me go.
You can't hide what I've seen,
And you can't hide what I've heard,
But I can't stand this being confused,
So if it's true you'd better tell me dear.
Do you plan to let me go,
For the other guy you loved before.

Dear God I heard it through the grapevine,
Not much longer would you be mine.
No, no I heard it through the grapevine,
And I'm just about to lose my mind,
Honey, honey, yeah.
Honey, honey I know that you're letting me go.
Honey, honey I know that you're letting me go.

Here She Comes.
Here she comes dressed in white just like a cloud.
Oh my God, floating above the earth so proud.
Oh my God, and I watched her just float by.
Watched her just float by.

Here she comes.
Here she comes with her hair so cold and pale.
Oh my God, she's throws a tie down like a veil.
Oh my God, and I recall the greatest sorrow of them all was I cried while you're alone
Cried while you're alone.

She came barefoot as a peasant, seeking pleasure, seeking wonder,
Through the backstreets where the drunkards swilled, aching,
And she's driven on by hatred, driven on by hunger,
By the weight of the grey clouds, every one that she's right under.
The bed accepts the body as you accept the whispers and you kissed her like a thousand others kissed her.

Here she comes,
Here she comes with an angel's stumbling grace,
Oh my God and I bear the burden of
Oh my God and I'm content, if this is all I have, this is all I have.
Here she comes,
Here she comes dressed in black just like a cloud,

Oh my God and I need to touch the soiled gown,
Oh my God and I recall the greatest triumph of them all was I,
Born of blood and stone, not quite her alone,
Here she comes.

Homeless.
Big issue, big issue.
Homeless, we are all homeless,
Homeless, we are all homeless,
Homeless, we are all homeless,
Daylight comes and we want to go ....???

I'm Sick.
I've got these headaches and this backache,
And heartaches as well.
And I've got stomach cramps and bowel constraints,
And I'm starting to swell.
If you can't give me some kindness,
Then at least give me some pills.

I'm sick (He's sick).
Don't you know me by now I'm not one to complain,
But I've got phlegm on my chest,
And water on the brain.
Stones in my gall, a vent in my spleen,
A frog in my throat and warts somewhere obscene.

I'm sick (He's sick).
So sick (So sick)
So sick (So sick)
What do you want-
When I stink like a corpse in his bed,
What do you want-
When the tension pops a vein in my head.
What do I want? What do you want?
What do I want? What do you want?

My perennium has collapsed,
I've got moles across my back,
My ulcer's got an ulcer,
My prostate's got the sack,
My corpuscles scream retreat while the genitals scream attack!
I'm sick (He's sick)
So sick (So sick)
So sick (So sick).

What do you need-
When my bile duct is clogged from overuse.
What do you need-
When my bladder bursts from constant abuse.
What do I want? What do you want?
What do I want? What do you want?
What do I want? What do you want?

Dermatitis, Hepatitis- Both A and B.
I've got jaundice and consumption and my balls are killing me.
I've got an itch that just won't quit.
Syphilis, gonorrhea.
I've got cataracts on my eyes,
God, it's good to see you.
I'm sick (He's sick)
I'm sick!