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Artwork Big Gig DAAS Kapital Downloads Links >> Lyrics Merchandise Pictures |
What Rich Wants.
Don't want no disco shit,
I wanna be really, really bad,
Don't want no trendy punks,
When I Get Famous.
When I get famous there'll be so many people,
I want someone to love me,
But when I get famous there'll be,
When I get famous there'll be so many people,
I want someone to love me,
But when I get famous there'll be,
World's Best Kisser.
And lie back on your couch,
Ho, ho, sit up straight and pout,
Well go back to your husband now,
Ho, ho, sit up straight and pout,
I've only kissed one girl before,
She added there'd be hell to pay,
Hey, hey, calm down and pucker up,
You Don't Understand.
But it seems to me that you don't understand a single word that comes,
But it seems to me that you don't understand a single word that comes,
The Eternal Diner.
Then she brought me cup
And
Fourteen Pints Of Beer And A Kebab.
I drank fourteen pints of beer and a kebab,
I'm feeling like a million bucks,
I drank fourteen pints of beer and a kebab,
I feel like making love.
I spy this lovely Essex chick,
I... face your kitchen sit,
I drank fourteen pints of beer and a kebab,
Now I feel like making love.
Funk You.
Funk you! And funk your mother,
As Galileo said 'And yet it moves!'
Funk You! Funk quantum physics.
Sexual psychology fascinates me more than art or science,
Funk you! And funk your mother,
Get Nicked Mum.
My mum came up to me,
I'm a big dirty mongrel,
My girlfriend is a camel,
I'm not on drugs I'm just stupid.
I'm a skinhead pinhead,
Rocking and bopping,
Get nicked Mum get nicked,
The Light That Shines.
For the light that shines on me,
She was heavy with two months left,
For the light that shines on me,
For the light that shines on me,
Winter came up strong,
For the light that shines on me,
Throw Your Arms Around Me.
Well I came for you at nighttime,
Well I came for you at nighttime,
I wanna go out to late at night,
I wanna go out get pissed, get drunk.
I wanna come home in a garbage bag,
I wanna come home all covered in shit.
I wanna come home at quarter to six.
Don't want no top ten hit.
Just wanna have fun, f-f-fun, f-f-fun, f-f-fun.
Pick up chicks and make 'em sad.
I wanna get Bill Collins and kick his head in.
I wanna crush, kill, destroy,
Just like the bad robot from "Lost In Space".
Don't want no fascist.....
Just wanna have fun, f-f-fun, f-f-fun, f-f-fun- That's it.
When I get famous,
There'll be so many people want to know me.
So if you want to know me right now,
You'd better make some kind of an effort.
Clambering to touch my hands.
I don't care if the love ain't real,
I just want to know that feel.
I want someone to love me.
Because you rejected me,
You rejected me.
So many people want to know me.
I'll be able to pick and choose,
You'll just be one in a line.
Clambering to touch my finger tips.
I don't care if the love ain't real,
I just want to know that feel.
I want someone to love me (slag mole bitch).
Because you rejected me,
You rejected me.
So many people want to know me.
I'm wet and I'm moist,
So come on let's rejoice,
In the birds, the bees, the fillies and the colts,
And the fact that we are all young adults.
After this there'll be no doubt.
I don't care if you're a Miss or a Missus,
You done been squelched by the World's best kissers.
I'll suck your face until I pull your molars out.
A tongue so grand you'll call me more than friend,
One kiss from this and you'll never brush your teeth again.
(And you know it's true, mate!)
Tell him you done broke your vow.
Stand proud and say "Hey Mister,
I've just been kissed by the World's best kisser".
I'll suck your face until I pull your wisdoms out.
A tongue so long it really grows and grows,
Put it in your mouth and it'll clean out your nose.
My Grandma on the kitchen floor.
She dribbled and grinned and said "Hey Kid,
You taught me things your Grandpa never did".
If Ma found out we'd gone astray.
So hurry Paul, go and get some sleep,
You've finally got a skill to teach the sheep.
These lips are strong enough to stop a truck.
A tongue so long it really packs a punch,
One kiss from this and I'll know what you had for lunch.
One kiss from this,
And I'll know what you had for lunch- yesterday.
I can hear your footsteps echo down the lost and lonely canyons of your mind.
Like the dismal bagpipe player who wanders through these streets alone at night.
I can feel your naked trembles like an otter caught underneath my spade.
Like a budgie with it's wings clipped that's trapped inside a cage.
I feel your icy fingers around my heart around the blood drenched arteries of my heart.
And when I look at you like it's Siamese twins I realise that we can never part.
From this lost and lonely, hopelessly confused and crippled man.
I can smell your fear it's rising like a fishing trawler sinking in the sea.
Like a bumbling stumbling blind man reaching out for hopeless love in the dark.
With your fingers snapped and cracked that mouse trap that you once called your heart.
Like a plumber in the septic tank the Harpic flushing wildly like you're him.
Like a pack of killer Mormons that the Tabernacle Choir won't let sing.
What are these words, they're only words.
But you don't understand them, because you never studied grammar,
Because you left school in sixth grade, so you're bloody stupid.
Something, something, something. Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah.
Am I getting through at all?
He can hear your footsteps echo, echo, ECHO!!
I was crawling like a carnivore
Into the heart of a slumbering city
I stopped at a two bit 5 and dine
To wet my whistle
While the 18-wheelers were looking
Like dinosaurs from the back lot
Of an M.G.M. musical
Dancing a pas de deux (Paul's note: Type of dance)
There was a dying swan waitress
There with eyes like twin pearl
Headlights or two 60 watt globes
Turned down low with a yellow
Lampshade around them
She was a piece of bonboniere
All plaster and paint
And when she spoke it was like
Stevenson's steam engine giving
Up the ghost, the words fell from
Her jezebel lips like
Lumps of cow dung and landed
Heavy on my plate
She smelt as sweet as a rose
In a tuna can or as a subtle as
A carnation
Shoved up the arse of an anchovie (Paul's note: Nice visual image)
She moved with all the casual
Grace of a three-legged hippo
On roller skates going backwards
Down the marathon
Her face could've sunk
A thousand hips. It was like God
Got a tub of lard and negatively
Geared it's personality or if he took
Two tons of blue vein cheese
Wrapped it up in pasta and dental
Floss, dipped it in bread and dripping
Covered it with grease and said
"Take and eat this is your body"
But I won't wain lyrical
She served me a mess of beans that looked
Like the came from Bugs Bunny
On the hop with the runs..
I mean to say
Like rabbit dropping sitting in
A sea of blood.
Well, I mean like.......
That rascally rodent with a haemorrhoid
Ridden pile-driven
Inflamed and cancerous bowel
Excreting into a bowl of luke-
Warm after-birth.
Hell, you know what beans look like..
Of coffee so black and cold
The cockroaches were doing
Figure 8's on iceskates and I said "Babe"
Can you bring me a bread roll
To soak up the blood and
A jackhammer for the coffee
And she kicked me over a bread roll
As hard as a hockey puck
That looked like it was
Baked before the big bang
Before the dawn of time
Before pre-history
I cracked it open and there inside
Were the fossilised remains
Of Austropithicus,
Sitting with a cup of tar in his hand
A mess of beans
And a bread roll as hard as a hockey puck
And I cracked open that bread roll
And there inside that bread roll
Was me, with a cup of tar,
A mess of beans and a bread roll
As hard as a pucky fuck (Paul's note: Oops)
The waitress comes over laughing
With a grin wider
Than the Grand Canyon,
Arms wobbling like avocado maraca's,
She looks up to me like the Empire State Building
And she breathes wheezy like a
Cheap overweight whore
"If you're in for a penny,
You're in for a pound".
The she starts peeling off her skin,
Layer by layer
And tossing coins into the
(There's a word crossed out here, "Not PC" says Paul) who's making a bit
Of pin money
Working as a door stop.
He says, "I used to be a paperweight,
But I couldn't see the future in it".
There's a midget in the corner,
But he looks like a dwarf to me,
He's singing, "Walk tall, walk straight,
Look the world right in the thigh"
But, that's how life is in the eternal diner.
I went out to the slug and toad,
Drinking with the lads.
They disappeared at closing time,
And left me with the tab.
Someone slipped me a creme-de-menthe,
I confess I feel a little sick.
I threw up in some chick's sling-backs,
As I left the discotheque.
Now my car keys are in my trousers,
I've had a brew but I'm feeling fine.
Once I find my trouses,
I'll be alright to drive.
I drank fourteen pints of beer and a kebab,
I drank fourteen pints of beer and a kebab,
Now I feel like making love.
I'm walking on a cloud,
As I wander into another bar,
And fart out loud.
I know I looking brilliant,
I've got that beery grin.
I stumble with my fly half-mast,
And sing "Let the show begin!"
I feel all eyes upon me
The envy of other men.
As I urinate against the wall,
And let the piss drip down my leg.
Every woman wants me,
They've got a perfect view,
Of me playing hard to get,
When I'm face down in my spew.
I drank fourteen pints of beer and a kebab,
I drank fourteen pints of beer and a kebab,
Now I feel like making love.
In crimplene with a broken nose.
Sweat stains in her crotch,
And she's semi-comatose.
I chat up this foxy lady,
As her eyes roll rouns her head.
I know if she's as drunk as me
We'll both wind up in bed.
So let's make love like the English do,
Football songs, and no foreplay.
You pretend that you're asleep,
And let me have my way.
Yeah - let's do it just like British rail,
Rud and late at a lazy pace.
And end up in your throw (no!).
I sit upon your kitchen sink,
And throw up in your face (no no no!).
I'll throw up in the kitchen sink,
And sit upon your face... (yeah!)
I drank fourteen pints of beer and a kebab,
I drank fourteen pints of beer and a kebab,
Now I feel like making love.
I don't know much about art but I can tell you this,
Duchamp's Urinal is a piece of piss.
Van Gogh cut off his ear to spite his face SO WHAT!
Me, I've got a message for the whole human race.
I wanna be a phallic symbol like the Tower Of Pisa,
And wipe the smile off the face of that bitch the Mona Lisa.
I'll date Botticelli's Venus just to tease her,
But unless you're hung like a Jackson Pollock you couldn't please her.
Funk your sister, funk your auntie and funk your little brother.
When you've learnt how to funk one another,
Don't leave that groovy thing on the shelf,
Go home to the one you love and funk yourself!
While Oppenheimer splits the atom,
And a man Newton finds the groove.
But me I agree with Einstein who put is so much simpler,
I want to end as it began with one big bang not a whimper.
When you've proved their theories wrong,
You can go and funk the cynics.
Take a proton pill as you butt funk their gimmicks,
You're an E=mc2, that's your life!
So funk you buddy and funk your wife!
I've attempted intercourse with every household appliance.
A girl came to my clinic, I guess you'd call her a client.
She wouldn't touch my pinkies, which I found so defiant.
I said 'My psycho-analyst is gonna love you, cos you look just like my sister'
She said 'But I've got no arms and armless girls cannot play Twister'
She tried to take my pants off with her teeth,
But her stiff upper lip got caught in the metal zip.
Funk your sister, funk your auntie and funk your little brother.
When you've learnt how to funk one another,
Don't leave that groovy thing on the shelf,
Go home to the one you love and,
Go home to the one you love and funk yourself!
I'm a big dirty mongrel,
I'm a bad assed dude.
The sewer is my home,
And rats are my food.
My mum came up to me and said:
"Clean your room, Richard."
And I said to her "Get nicked!"
I'm not on drugs I'm just stupid.
I'm not on drugs I'm just stupid.
I'm not on drugs I'm just stupid.
I'm not on drugs I'm just stupid.
I've got a big police file.
I like to spew up on the back of the bus so when the bus stops really suddenly the spew goes pshoow down the aisle.
I click my fingers and she jumps.
When we go to the drive-in,
I take my milk with two humps.
I'm not on drugs I'm just stupid.
I'm not on drugs I'm just stupid.
I'm not on drugs I'm just stupid.
With the body of a pig.
Baby I don't give a fig,
I'm a skinhead in a wig.
Sloshing and coshing.
I nicked my mother's washing,
I didn't do my washing.
"Richard!"
Get nicked Mum get nicked.
Get get get get nicked nicked nicked nicked Mum.
January 24 and the factory closed down,
Thinking I'll get drunk to hell down at the Rose and Crown.
We stayed 'till closing and we drank the bar dry,
Swear that's the first time that I've seen old Mick cry.
Sometimes you feel the weight of giants on your shoulders,
And the mirrors whisper it's enough to bowl you over.
It's the tempers, not a sound is heard,
Oh God, when will the wind be still?
Oh God, when will the wind be still?
Sad, the light that shines.
For the light that shines on me,
Oh, the light that shines.
I was morning the loss,
Looking for papers 'round the wharves and on the docks.
She took up attention, though she said it was a sin,
Three hungry mouths to feed and no money coming in.
Sad, the light that shines.
For the light that shines on me,
Oh, the light that shines.
Sad, the light that shines.
For the light that shines on me,
Oh, the light that shines .
And the child stayed warm.,
Nothing to the world now but this terrible dawn.
Saw Mick a year ago, can't remember his face,
But I dreamt,
Dreamt I heard my voice from a thousand mouths below.
I saw my body lying naked as the day,
I can move the mountain but my feet are stuck.
Look up and God is standing in the way,
Look up and God and standing in the way.
Oh, when will the wind be still,
Oh, when will the wind be still.
Sad the light that shines.
Black as night it falls on me,
Oh the light the shines.
I will come for you at nighttime,
And I will raise you from your sleep.
Lord I will kiss you in four places,
And go running up your street.
And I will squeeze the life out of you,
And you will make me laugh and make me cry.
And we may never forget it,
You'll make me call your name,
And I will shout it to the blue summer sky.
And we may never meet again,
So shed your skin and let's get started.
And you may throw your arms around me,
Yeah you may throw your arms around me.
And I watched you in your sleep.
Lord I met you in high places,
I kissed your head and kissed your feet.
Now if you disappear out of view,
You know that I will never say goodbye.
And though I try to forget it,
You'll make me call your name,
And I will shout it to the blue summer sky.
And we may never meet again,
So shed your skin and let's get started.
And you may throw your arms around me,
Yeah you may throw your arms around me.
And I watched you in your sleep.
Lord I kissed you in four places,
I kissed your head and kissed your feet.
Throw your arms around me,
Yeah you may throw your arms around me,
Yeah you may throw your arms around me.