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Penis Song.
Thanks to Springy Ninja. Paul sang this on a GNW Debate in 2000.
The penis, the penis.
It doesn't take a genius.
A pauper or a king will realise,
It always comes back down to size.
You ask me how it's hanging,
It's strangling, it's dangling.
It's cutting of the blood supply,
And it don't feel good.
But by tomorrow evening,
Perhaps when I'm leaving.
I'm going to crack the top off,
After I get wood.

The penis, the penis,
It doesn't take a genius.
The perverts and the poet empathise,
It always comes back down to size.
But when your male tail's,
As big as a whale's,
There'll be some complications and,
Heaven knows,
You will look awful silly,
When you free willy,
Shouting out "All hands on deck,
And "thar she blows"!
Why waste our lives with fighting
With hatred, wars and dying
When we can masturbate?

The penis, the penis,
Don't let it come between us.
Gomer and Rock saw eye to eye,
It always comes,
It always comes.
It always comes back down to size.

I know this seems obsessive,
Regressive, excessive.
They claim that bigger's better,
So what can we do.
You wonder where we're heading,
With all this bedwetting.
But I am not forgetting,
That there's women here too.

Vagina, vagina
Did Julie say vagina?
Is Getrude Stein just down the hall?
Well it just isn't interesting at all...(not like)

The penis, the penis,
Oh, let it come between us.
As Dodi Fayed said to Lady Di,
It always comes,
It always comes,
It always come back down to...

Um-diddle-idle-idle-um-dil-alie,
Um-diddle-idle-idle-um-dil-alie,
Um-diddle-idle-idle-um-dil-alie,
Um-diddle-idle-idle-um-dil-alie.

To siiiiiiiiiiiiiize,
To siiiiiiiiiiiiiize

To size, to size, to size,
To size, to size, to size, to size.
To size,
To size,
To size,
To size,
To size,
To size,
To size,
To size,
To size,

To siiiiiiize.

Sacred Heart.
Thanks to DAASMonkeyGirl. Paul sang this on the Flacco & Sandman Special in 2000.
In a cave on a border town,
They found remains.
In the dull forgotten ground,
Bleached bone entwined.
Mud thickly plastered,
to his spine.

Beneath his ribs flowers bloom,
We offer up but we leave too soon.
I close my eyes on the scene,
What a change for me that...

After the tests and talking,
Found that it was him.
Oh hollow hands, hollow hands,
Scarred wrists.
Where he held to pass the life,
Too fast to live.

Beneath his ribs flowers bloom,
We offer up but we leave to soon.
I close my eyes on the scene,
What a change for me that...

No, no stone rolled back,
No, no cloth was found.
No sacred heart,
No sound.
(Repeat x4)

That's My Beer.
Thanks to Springy Ninja. Paul sang this on the Pubs & Beernuts Special in 2000.
You're beautiful and so sublime
I think, I wanna spend some time
With you, I like the way you make me feel
I like everything you do
You make my head spin round and round
I pick you up, can't put you down
You're cool and bittersweet
You're beautiful but yet you're cheap
You're cheap

That's my beer
I really want it
That's my beer
I really need it
That's my beer
And yes it's true
Nothing can compare
To this brew

That's my beer-(Spoken by Mikey)

Naturally brewed
No preservatives or additives
Alcohol-bar volume
Six point eight
A beers a mate, a friend for life
A spouse, a husband or a wife
You may call on the spirits
But there'll never be another
You're never alone when
Lager is your lover

That's my beer
I really want it
That's my beer
I really need it
That's my beer
And yes it's true
Nothing can compare
To this brew

No grits from the keg
In this bevy of levity
It's a tune on it's own
It's like a belly full of melody
A bitter tasting symphony
Of faith ups and charity (just taste it)
And it's brew with a promise
Sealed with a kiss
Best of all it's qualities
It gets you pissed

That's my beer-(Spoken by Sandy and Flacco)
I really want it
That's my beer
I really need it
That's my beer
I really want it
That's my beer
I really need it

Nothin' x11
Can compare to this brew!

That's my beer
I really need it

That's my beer /
I really love / x20 til the end.

Oops!... I Did It Again
Thanks to Kirri. Paul sang this on GNW in late 2000.
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

I think I did it again,
I made you believe we're more than just friends.
Oh baby,
It might seem like a crush.
But it doesn't mean that I'm serious,
'Cause to lose all my senses.
That is just so typically me,
Oh baby, baby.

Oops!...I did it again,
I played with your heart, got lost in the game.
Oh baby, baby,
Oops!...You think I'm in love.
That I'm sent from above,
I'm not that innocent.

You see my problem is this,
I'm dreaming away.
Wishing that heroes, they truly exist,
I cry, watching the days.
Can't you see I'm a fool in so many ways,
But to lose all my senses.
That is just so typically me,
Baby, oh.

Oops!...I did it again,
I played with your heart, got lost in the game.
Oh baby, baby,
Oops!...You think I'm in love.
That I'm sent from above,
I'm not that innocent.

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah,
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.

Paul One: "Paul, before you go, there's something I want you to have."
Paul Two: "Oh, it's beautiful. But wait a minute, isn't this...?"
One: "Yeah, yes it is"
Two: "But I thought the old lady dropped it into the ocean in the end."
One: "Well baby, I went down and got it for you."
Two: "Oh, you shouldn't have...now piss off."
One: "I never liked you! I NEVER liked you!"
Two: "Oh, don't start with me!"
One: You're schizophrenic!"
Two: "I'm not, YOU are!"
One: "Me? Look at YOU! What have you done with our life? At your age, impersonating an 18-year-old American virgin! Look, you're not American, you're not 18, and you're not a vir... are we?"
One & Two: "Oops!"

Oops!...I did it again to your heart,
Got lost in this game, oh baby.
Oops!...You think that I'm sent from above,
I'm not that innocent.

Oops!...I did it again,
I played with your heart, got lost in the game.
Oh baby, baby,
Oops!...You think I'm in love.
That I'm sent from above,
I'm not that innocent.

Oops!...I did it again,
I played with your heart, got lost in the game.
Oh baby, baby,
Oops!...You think I'm in love.
That I'm sent from above,
I'm not that innocent.

Lucky Stars.
Thanks to Springy Ninja and Shantelle. Paul & Mark Trevorrow sang this on GNW in late 2000.
What are you crazy?
How the hell can you say, you just said?
I was talkin' to myself
Shut the door and come to bed.
By the way I forgot to say,
Your endearing mother called today.

Did you see Marca?
Yes I saw Marcia.
Is that why you're angry?
I wasn't angry
Maybe a little?
Not even maybe
Must be the weather
Now, don't be a baby

Well how am I supposed to feel,
With all the things you don't don't reveal?
And you can thank,
Your lucky stars,
That you're not as smart,
As you'd like to think you are

Would you like to talk about it?
There's not much to say.
We had lunch this afternoon,
Our lives in disarray.
She still goes around as if,
She's always stumbling off a cliff

Do you still want her?
What are you saying?
(Well obviously) Do you still want her?
Oh baby stop playing.
Really I mean it.
Can you forget her?
Pauly now stop it,
You should know better.

I know this is hard to do,
But there's no one but me,
But you.
And you can thank,
Your lucky stars,
That we're not as smart,
As you'd like to think we are.

Baby I'm sorry, I was wrong.
I have no alibi.
I was acting like a fool.
And I apologise.
Listen Mark now, don't be dumb.
But that's okay,
You don't have to look so glum.

Do you still love me?
Yes I still love you.
You mean you're not just being nice?
No, I'm not just being nice.
Do you feel sleepy?
Ahh, you're so sexy.
Yes, I feel sleepy.
Well slide over here.

'Cos I may not be all that bright,
But I know how to hold you tight.
And you can thank,
Your lucky stars,
That we're not as smart,
As you'd like to think we are.

I know that you can thank,
Your lucky stars,
That we're not as smart,
As you'd like to think you are.

We can thank,
Our lucky stars,
That we're not as smart,
As we'd like to think we are.

Torn Between Two Lovers.
Thanks to Shantelle. Paul, Marcia Hines & Mark Trevorrow sung this on GNW in late 2000.
(Marcia)There are times when a woman has to say what’s on her mind,
Even though she knows it’s really gonna hurt.
Before I say another word let me say ‘I love you’,
Let me hold you close and say these words as gently as I can.

(Mark)Marcia,
There’s been another man that I’ve needed and I’ve loved.
But that doesn’t mean I love you less (yeah right),
And me knows he can’t possess me and he knows he never will.
There’s just this empty place inside me that only he can fill.

(All)Torn between two lovers feelin’ like a fool,
Loving both of you is breakin’ all the rules.
Torn between two lovers feelin’ like a fool,
Loving you both is breakin’ all the rules.

(Paul)You mustn’t think you’ve failed me,
Just because there’s someone else (darn tootin’ there is).
You were the first real love I ever had (last October).
And all the things I said to you,
I swear they still are true (Ahh tell it to Judge Judy).
And no-one else can have the (talk to the hand),
Part of me I gave to you (you can’t have it back either).

(All)Torn between two lovers feelin’ like a fool,
Loving both of you is breakin’ all the rules.
Torn between two lovers feelin’ like a fool,
Loving you both is breakin’ all the rules.
Loving you both is breakin’ all the rules,
Loving you both is breakin’ all the rules.

I Was Made For Loving You.
Thanks to Shantelle. Paul and the cast sung this on the last GNW of 2000.
Tonight I wanna give it all to you,
In the darkness .
There's so much I wanna do,
And tonight I wanna lay it at your feet.
'Cause girl, I was made for you,
And girl, you were made for me.

I was made for lovin' you baby,
You were made for lovin' me.
And I can't get enough of you baby,
Can you get enough of me.

Tonight I wanna see it in your eyes,
Feel the magic.
There's something that drives me wild,
And tonight we're gonna make it all come true.
'Cause girl, you were made for me,
And girl I was made for you.

I was made for lovin' you baby,
You were made for lovin' me.
And I can't get enough of you baby,
Can you get enough of me.

Don’t you treat me bad, don’t you make me sad,
Our love could be as deep as the ocean.
If you can’t be true, I’ve got news for you,
Just remember I could be poison.

Don’t you treat me bad, don’t you make me sad,
Our love could be as deep as the ocean.
If you can’t be true, I’ve got news for you,
Just remember I could be poison.

Oooo,
Oohohohoh yeah.
Can’t get enough,
Can’t get enough.
Oh, I was made,
You were made.
I can't get enough,
No, I can't get enough.

Don’t you treat me bad, don’t you make me sad,
Our love could be as deep as the ocean.
I’ve got news for you, if you can’t be true,
Just remember I could be poison.

Don’t you treat me bad, don’t you make me sad,
(I was made for lovin' you baby)
Our love could be as deep as the ocean.
(You were made for lovin' me)
I’ve got news for you,
If you can’t be true (And I can't get enough of you baby),
Just remember I can be poison (Can you get enough of me).

Don’t you treat me bad,
Don’t you make me sad (I was made for lovin' you baby).
Our love could be as deep as the ocean
(You were made for lovin' me).
I’ve got news for you,
If you can’t be true (And I can't get enough of you baby),
Just remember I can be poison (Can you get enough of me).

I was made!

I was made for lovin' you baby,
You were made for lovin' me.
And I can't get enough of you baby,
Can you get enough of me.

I was made for lovin' you baby,
You were made for lovin' me.
And I can't get enough of you baby,
Can you get enough of me.

I was made for lovin (finish with unintelligible mumbling).