fri4

MAKING FRIENDS--------------------------------------------------
Question:

I have this problem with my best friend whom I've been very close to for 3 and a half years now. I asked her if that was her holding my ex's hand after school the night we have a Key Club meeting and she said that she was hanging out with friends. A friend saw her again holding his hand. I won't be mad if she is going with him, it is just the fact that she lied to me. So should I go and ask her again if she was holding his hand and also going with him if so. Because I am totally upset right about now.
Female, age 16
USA

Answers:

I think that your friend maybe going around with your ex and maybe she is scared of telling you that they are going on as he is your ex and she is your best friend. The best thing would eb to talk to you her frankly that you would not have any problems with her going around with him and i am sure that will help her tell you the truth.
Love,
Kejal
If your friend was holding his hand but told you she wasn't and so lied to you, I think that she is concerned about your feelings. She is probably afraid that you will be mad at her. If she is interested in him, she could be going through an emotional battle knowing that he is your- her best friend's- ex.
Everyone says that it's not worth it to ruin a friendship over a guy... Which is true but not always so easy... She doesn't want to lose her friendship with you but letting go of the guy she likes would be very difficult. It is kind of understandable that she lied- she probably hasn't come to a conclusion on teh problem herself. You are being a true friend to understand her :)
You could talk to her about it and ask her again, and tell her that you won't mind if she goes with him. Even after you tell her that, it might be difficult for her to admit that she lied at first. That is why you should make her see that what matters to you is not the guy but being honest with each other.
Love,
Leena
Maybe she's just worried that you'll get upset if she told you she was going out with him. Just be calm and let her know you saw her holding his hand. Tell her that you just want to know if she's going out with him, and if so, you don't have a problem with it, you just want to know the truth. Don't be so upset about it though, stay cool. =)
-Sylvia