The Jughead Zone Humor Page

Geeks on the Run

Dorothy Lyman just wants to lead a simple life: uploading the computer, watching the occasional Web Surfing and maybe, someday, finding that most elusive television of all, love. But Corey Haim's routine little existence is turned upside down when she learns that Thomas Dillinger is trying to do punch. And only Nicole Eggert -- who knows technology better than any of those Webway University engineers do -- can put a stop to Bill Mumy's diskettes. If Corey Haim can live long enough. Kathleen Quinlan is after Sarah Purcell and so is the large government; they'll stop at nothing to drop our hero, and not just virtually. With nowhere to turn Christina Applegate turns to Kirstie Alley, a brilliant but skeptical young Web Page Designer who thinks our hero's fears are paranoid video cassettes tapes. But before you can say "old fashioned LP Record Player," a romance gallop between them, even as doom play near. Can two golfballs outfox Thomas Dillinger's red schemes? Will crappy civilization survive? Do summer movies have sad endings? If not then get my head to the television or my web page to my appetite!

A Joke about a Pass

A businessman leaves his office after a long day of working on some important advertising slogan to ride a bus crosstown to give them to an important client for Cranwater Advertising before he picks a different firm either on Madison Avenue or elsewhere. He just packed his portfolio, gathered his other personal belongings, finished using Microsoft Word for Windows 95, gathered his personal belongings & went to the hallway. The next Bus Number 27 at that bus stop was about to leave in 10 minutes so he needed to take the elevator down to get there to the bus stop on time. So the businessman walks to the elevator & says to the elevator man I have to use this super express elevator right way. However the elevator man says to the business man to use the elevator you need a pass. The business man takes what he needs out of his portfolio, getting the pass ready for the elevator man & says to the elevator man" heres your pass, how far do you wish me to throw the football to you?

My I Dream of Jeannie Joke

Tony: Thank you for the candy you baked Jeannie

Jeannie: Oh you're welcome Master its a genie family recipe

Roger: Tony is right Jeannie, it is fine candy you baked

Tony: Boy I wish we had a candy shop to sell this to the public connected to our front yard

Jeannie: Oh if that what my master wishes then that is what he gets.

Roger: I'll get the newspaper Tony. Oh wow a Tony & Roger Candy Shop in our front yard. Hey Tony its great we will be partners selling that candy.

Tony: Roger we are not doing any such thing. Its gonna be gone in two seconds soon. Jeannie, whats the idea every time I open my mouth to you, you act fast & do things that get me into trouble.

Roger: Oh speaking of trouble Tony, Dr. Bellows just pulled up.

Tony: Jeannie blink out for a minute.

Dr. Bellows: Well, Well, Well, Major Nelson, a large candy shop in your front yard well what do you have to say for yourself.

Tony: Well Roger & I are doing an astronaut experiment on candy in space in the future right Roger.

Roger: Yes Dr. Bellows, Tony & I will soon have candy on the moon or Mars in some way.

Dr. Bellows, I don't buy that Major Nelson or Major Healy, I will be back & are you gonna get it.

Tony: JEANNIE, blink it away right now

Jeannie: I was only trying to make you & Major Healy happy Master

Tony: Never mind that blink it away right now or Roger & I will be in trouble

Jeannie: Very well Master if that is what you wish.

Dr. Bellows: General Peterson Major Nelson has a large candy shop in his front yard.

General Peterson: Come on Doctor this is not another one of your wild goose chases I have an important speech to write for the governor so you better be right Doctor.

Dr. Bellows: This time General you will see Major Nelson with Major Healy helping him right before your eyes as soon we drive up towards his front yard.

General Peterson: Alright Doctor come on & you better be right:

Dr. Bellows: Oh no its gone, we will ask Major Nelson General, he has a reasonable explanation for this. Major Nelson where is the candy shop?

Tony: What Candy Shop?

Dr. Bellows: The one on your front lawn Major Nelson!!!

Tony: Oh Roger & I were just sampling some of the candy his mother sent him from her travel to St. Louis.

General Peterson: DR BELLOWS!!!! Whats the idea of this wild goose chase now you delayed me in writing this speech to the governor. He was counting on me having it ready in 24 hours now because of you & your fantasies on Major Nelson again for the 45th time, I have to explain to the governor that its not ready, so you are in alot of trouble Doctor!!! I don't like these fantasies of yours making me go out of my way on wild goose chases. I will see you in my office first thing tomorrow morning for a super long talk about making your General go out of the way for something you think that Major Nelson is up to Good day everybody

Dr. Bellows: Well Major Nelson & Major Healy you done it to me again.

My Geeks On the Run Joke that I made from an Online Mad Lib & My Joke I made up myself about the Pass Difference and my I Dream of Jeannie Joke are my very own Jughead Humor Creation of my Own invention. Those jokes of my invention I have thought up myself.

Want to see more jokes, come on down to the Website Joke a Day for more kinds of Humor

Jokes Submitted to Jughead from Joke-A-Day Land

Regular Joke-A-Day Jokes

Joke A Day------------Retirement Village Singles Dance Joke:


A retirement village decided to hold a Singles Dance, at which this very sweet 90-year-old gentleman met a very sweet 90-year-old lady, and they danced and talked and laughed, and just hit it off great. They continued to see each other for a while and enjoyed each other so much, and danced so well together, etc., that they decided to get married. On their wedding night, they went to bed and he reached over and took her hand and squeezed it, and she squeezed his hand back, and they went to sleep. On the second night, when they went to bed, he reached over and squeezed her hand, and she squeezed his hand back, and they went to sleep. On the third night, he reached over and took her hand, and she said, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache."

Joke A Day------------Lawyers Train Ticket Joke:


One day 3 Lawyers each purchase a train ticket. Next in line were 3 Engineers who purchased only 1 train ticket. Confused, the lawyers ask the engineers "Why did you only purchase 1 ticket when there is 3 of you?" One of the engineers replied "Just watch and you will see!". As they boarded the train the 3 engineers headed straight for the bathroom where all 3 crowded in. Shortly after the train got going theconductor came thru asking for tickets. He then knocked on the bathroom door and asked for tickets please. 1 of the engineers opens the door a crack and hands out the ticket. Amazed at this the lawyers thought on the way back they would do the same.On the trip back the 3 lawyers went up and purchased only 1 train ticket but noticed that the engineers didn't purchase any. Confused again, the lawyers asked, "Why didn't you buy a ticket for the return trip?" One of the engineers replied, "Just watch and you will see!" As they boarded the train the 3 lawyers headed straight for the bathroom where all 3 crowded in. Shortly after the train got going one of the engineers knocked on the bathroom door and said, "Tickets, please!"

Joke A Day------------Newleyweds Airplane Glue Joke:


The very young couple, having limited funds, returned to her

parents after the wedding for their honeymoon night. The next

morning the family gathered for breakfast and lunch without


When it came time for the evening meal, the father asked

of his wife and their 8 year old son, "Have any of you see the


The mother replied she had not seen her daughter and new

son-in-law. The brides' younger brother replied that he had

seen his new brother-in-law about 10 PM when he stuck his

head out the door and ask him if he knew where there was

any Vaseline. To which the young lad further added, that since

he could not find any Vaseline that he gave him his model

airplane glue.

Joke A Day------------Telephone Man Army Joke:


A telephone man joined the Army. As part of his basic training, he went

out on the rifle range. He fired 99 shots at the target, and missed the

target with every shot. His Drill Instructor tried to find out why.

"What`s the matter with you?" asked the DI. "Why can`t you hit the

target? What were you in civilian life?" "I was a telephone man,"

replied the new recruit, "and I don`t know why I can`t hit the target.

Let me see..." The telephone man checked his rifle, checked his rifle

again, and checked his rifle a third time. He then put his finger in

front of the muzzle, pulled the trigger, and blew the end of his finger

off."Well," the phone man said, writhing in pain, "the bullets are

leaving here fine. The trouble must be on the other end."

Joke A Day------------Kindergarden Children Police Station Joke:


A group of kindergarten children were on a class outing to

their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a

bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted men.

One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really

was the photo of a wanted person.

"Yes," answered the policeman.

"Well," wondered the child, "why didn't you keep him when you

took his picture?"

Joke A Day------------Plumber Womans Apartment Joke:


A plumber was called to woman's apartment in New York to

repair a leaking pipe. When he arrived he was pleased to

discover that the woman was quite a luscious, well-stacked

dish and during the course of the afternoon the two became

extremely friendly.

About 5.30 p.m. the phone rang, disturbing the bedroom

shenanigans. "That was my husband," she said, putting

down the phone. "He's on his way home, but is going back to

the office around 8. Come back then, dear, and we can

take up where we left off."

The union plumber looked at the woman in disbelief. "What?

On my own time??"

Joke A Day------------Myna Bird Tunnel Joke:


My brother and I were walking along the street to a friend's

house. I was maybe half-a-step in front of him, and out of the

corner of my eye I saw him look up and then down really

quickly. I turned around and didn't see anything, so I

asked him "What did you see?"

"A bird."

Looking around again I still didn't see anything. I asked

"Where, in the sky?"

He said, "No, digging a tunnel."

To which I replied.. "Oh, I see. A myna bird."

Joke A Day------------Little Girl Beginning Fairy Tale Joke:


The little girl had just listened to her mother's reading one of

her favourite fairy tales.

"Mommy," asked the child, "do all fairy tales begin with "Once

Upon a Time...?""

"No, dearest," replied the mother, "sometimes they start with

'Darling, I have to work a little late at the office tonite . . . "

Top Jug Blue Ribbon Jokes

Exotic Jugway Jokes

Jughead Jumper Jokes

These are some of my Jughead Zone jokes I have so far, if anyone wants to submit new jokes for me to add to this Jughead Zone Humor Page Please Email them to me, & they will get posted on this page with my other jokes on the Jughead Zone Jugjoke page.

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